Friday, August 10, 2007

Bump In The Road

Big Brother is doing well :) Sore, but well. K.C. did not do so well yesterday with his Daddy. His Daddy watched him while I was with Big Brother at the hospital. I got a call from his Daddy only after two hours of him watching K.C. He said they were looking at books and everything was going fine. After K.C. looks at books he'll put them back EXACTLY PERFECT, he makes sure they are next to each other exactly even with each other. His Daddy isn't with K.C. very much and I should have warned him but I was so preoccupied with Big Brother I forgot to. K.C. started turning the pages of the books really hard because instead of K.C. putting the books back his Daddy was taking the books from him and trying to show him pictures in the book. On the last book K.C. ripped the pages and his Daddy took the books away. This made him even more mad because K.C. knows they get put away "just right." His Daddy said he was crying, when the tears ran down his face he was punching himself in the face and pulling his lips hard. This time I couldn't get home to help :( I had to stay with Big Brother. I told his Daddy to just watch him carefully but not to say a word to him. He'll never calm down if someone is talking to him. I told him to stay near and watch him for headbanging and just keep him safe so he doesn't hurt himself. Well I called back and this had to be the angriest K.C.'s been in a a long time :( He cried for at least 2 hours and was exhausted. He finally fell asleep. I called my Mom to come up to the hospital to stay with Big Brother so I could get home. When I did finally get home K.C. was awake and he was still very angry. He looked so sad and his eyes were swollen and red. I went straight to him and hugged him and he started crying all over again. I should have left him alone but he looked so sad. He cried for another 30 minutes and we just sat quietly most of the night. When we got to bed I lay there thinking all of this happened because of my failure to communicate the "book situation" with his Daddy. I should have told him he's very particular about the books. K.C. did wake up today o.k. but looked spent. Big Brother is home and very glad to be. His tonsils and adenoids are gone now.
About an hour ago I called K.C.'s "sensory based program." I introduced myself to the teacher on the phone and asked when I could come and let K.C. see the classroom cause school starts Tuesday. The original sensory based program fell through because the other teacher had moved out of state. The new teacher said she had NOT made any plans for the parents to come down with the kids and assumed she would be meeting them (the kids) on Tuesday for the first time. When she said that I asked her how was she supposed to recognize him and if K.C. didn't see the classroom and if I couldn't take pictures for his PECS book we would hit a serious bump in the road. It's not like I can just throw him on the bus and say, "you are going back to school today, see you at 3:30!" He has to see the room and have the picture in his hand or he'll be very confused! She agreed and said she would been in the class today after noon time as she had meetings. K.C. and I went to the school (which is in a very poor area) and walked (seemed like a 1/2 mile) to the very back of the school, out on the a field that had a trailer type deal where his class is supposed to be. The damn trailer was out so far I wondered why the school put the handicapped kids so far away from the school? It was like they were kept a dirty little secret and left as far away from the "regular kids" as possible. When we got to the room we knocked and walked in. No teacher was there so I thought we should leave but then I thought this is the perfect opportunity to snoop around! K.C. looked around and I did too. If this is the "sensory based program" it is the Pitts :( It was just a room, with paint peeling off the walls and some chairs and big tables. This room looked very poor. It did not look inviting for any kid and lacked many things, the biggest this is the sensory stuff! We waited for the teacher and I sat there totally depressed at the sight of the room and lack of things the kids should have in the room. I knew in my heart this is NOT where my son is going to go to school. K.C. may seem to not be aware of things but to put him in that program, in that area, I would say heck yeah he's going to notice! He doesn't live that way and he's not going to be put in that situation. The teacher finally came and I explained we didn't wait outside due to the heat. She said it was fine. I introduced K.C. to her and she said, "you'll have to tell me all about him because I don't have any information on any of the kids yet." I thought, "oh shit." I asked her if she had his IEP and she replied, "I haven't received any of the kids IEPS yet." I said, "but school starts Tuesday and it's Friday." The teacher said, "I was going to print them off the sped web before I left for the day." I could not believe it. I didn't bother telling her about K.C. and took his hand and thanked her for her time. We got the hell out of there. Came home and called the director of special Ed. and asked for a different program for K.C. and explained what I saw at the school. The director said, "there are NO OTHER PROGRAMS." I am in total shock :( I phoned my Mom and asked her if I could use her address for K.C. and send him to another school in a different city that has a really good Autism program. She agreed and now I have got to move fast before Tuesday comes. Do you guys think I am doing the right things? I really have no other options for K.C. My previous plans for him have feel through. I cannot afford to have both boys in private schools at this time. Big Brother's in very expensive :(


Melissa H said...

Oh Tina, how frustrating. SO many red flags here.
1 - The teacher didn't think to set up a meet & greet for kids in a sensory-based program? Is she braindead?
2 - That pitiful room (with peeling paint, no less) is where they're going to put kids with sensory issues?

I definitely think you're making the right decision. Oh, and the Director is full of crap. That's the only school, huh? In your entire district. Yeah. Whatever.

Niksmom said...

Tina, trust your instincts! What you described is absolutely horrifying! Talk about perpetuating the crap about how kids with ANY disability are "less than!" SH**

Can you make the situation with your mother work? Is the program near her any better? Check it out before you jump, that's my only advice.


Mom without a manual said...

Wow! I am not full of any wisdom about where to go but I would definitely agree that I would run from that placement really fast!

That is just ridiculous! If they can't even be bothered to show up at an appointed time I would worry about the kind of care KC will get. Then to not even have his records. Inexcusable! Run! Run fast!

Sorry about the event with Dad and I am glad to hear that big brother is home and recovering!


kristina said...

Yes, I really think you are. He can't go to school there---it was heartbreaking to read about the room. You have to be pro-active and, if I may say so, it sounds like he is being "warehoused"----a trailer? These kids deserve the very best.

Though be very careful if you use your mom's address and try to send KC to a school there. I know it's a huge question, but is there any possibilty of moving to where a school district has better services?

Peggy Lou Morgan said...

I can understand your frustration of feeling you need to be in two places at the same time as well as the program frustration. Been, there done that.

Hopefully both boys are doing better by now

Donetta said...

How is your husband doing after the book thing. Is he alright, does he know it was not his fault. It must of really frightened your husband.

Use care. perhaps if you can check out the federal rights and fight for him to get better care Perhaps the other parents could join you in a formal complaint!

Max and Me said...

oh yes you are doing the right thing. you are your child's best advocate and you absolutely should trust your gut. i do hope you find a wonderful place for your son to grow and flourish.

i am adding content slowly to my site. please feel free to stop by.

Lora said...

I think that you are doing the right thing, at least you are doing exactly what I would have done. You are such an awesome mommy, Tina, you are following your intuition and that will never steer you wrong. Lots of love and hugs to you guys!!!

Anonymous said...

You can't send him to another program in another city if he is not a resident of that city or unless your district, where you are a resident, sends him there with a contract with the other district. There would have to be a formal meeting for this and both districts would have to agree to outplacement.

Your school district is going to ask where KC is going to school as they are legally required to keep track of him. Sending him on your own to another district using another address is illegal and will land you in big trouble. Just wanted to warn you.

JUST A MOM said...

OH TINA !!!!! Man that stinks,, I woudl have done the same thing,, Have you checked in MY city for programs?? That is just not exceptable!!!! NOT AT ALL!!!!!!

Melinda said...

this story sounds all too familiar. It makes me sad and sick and I guess I should help make changes and do something about it. I mean there are NOT enough programs for the kids who need it....and MOST of the schools I dealt with were unfortunately like t his. NO idea what our kids might be like or need before they actually started school........not prepared.......not even trained to offer the kids what they might need.

VERY depressing and frustrating......but keep looking! YOU WILL find a good fit! Sometimes I think we have to come up with the perfect fit ourselves!