Headbanging/Communication

K.C.'s teacher has been working with him on his communication device. We just got it 4 days ago, it is called a Macaw device. His teacher says that when the new school year begins, I can request it be sent home with K.C.! I am so excited for K.C.! Just thinking about all the possibilities that this device can have for K.C. thrills me! His teacher says she believes he will learn to use it in time! Last week the school nurse phoned me and said that K.C.'s teacher was having a very hard time keeping him awake and that he was very, very sleepy. I immediately thought seizure. He always gets very quiet and has these very long staring spells just before a seizure. I told the nurse that and she said, I should come pick him up. I did just that. The change in routine threw K.C. off big time. He screamed and kicked the back of my seat all the way home. I thought I was going to lose my mind. It is very hard to drive with a child kicking the back of your seat and any words you have for him doesn't go through only makes it worse. I was silent until we got home. K.C. was still going strong and as soon as I unhooked him from his seat he slid out of the car like jelly straight to the ground and head banged twice before I could blink an eye. He hasn't head banged in awhile and I had even thought we might be over that mountain but no, not yet. I have seen K.C. head bang many times but I can tell you that each time he does head bang I get the same feeling. Stomach is in knots, scared to death he's going to seriously hurt his head and the after K.C. has head banged there is always a "letting it go" period where he's very limp like and crying. This is the hardest part for me because I just want to cry and cry because he has hurt himself that way and because K.C.'s cry sounds different that the regular cries. An after headbanging cry sounds hurt, sad, very sad, almost as if K.C. is trying to communicate "I'm sorry." I will never get used to seeing that ever.