Sunday, March 25, 2007

Passover is just around the corner!

Passover is just around the corner! Thought this may bring a smile :)

I think this will be fine for Seder #2xx

Passover service for the impatient.

Opening prayers:Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)

Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)

Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why we're doing this.

Four questions:1. What's up with the matzoh?2. What's the deal with horseradish?3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?

Answers:1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.2. Life was bitter, like horseradish. 3. It's called symbolism. 4. Free people get to slouch.

< class="apple-style-span">A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was morning. (Heat soup now.)

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them: Wise child-explain Passover.Simple child-explain Passover slowly.Silent child-explain Passover loudly. Wicked child-browbeat in front of the relatives.

Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.

The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, ge t the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)

The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice-you name it.

The singing of "Dayenu":If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough.

If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, it would've been enough.

If he'd parted the Red Sea-(Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)

Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.

Thanks again, God, for everything.

SERVE MEAL.

2 comments:

Sam I Am said...

Thanks so much for sharing. I love and am so interested in Judaism. I incorporate a lot of learnings with our Christian High School youth group that Brent and I lead. I just finished a book by a Jewish Psych. called "The Blessings of a Skinned Knee (Using Jewish Teachings in raising children)". I respect the Jewish culture so much. Thanks for sharing your Passover info. It explains it much better than ways I have tried to explain to our youth we work with. Happy Passover!

Cynthia Samuels said...

Gosh I wish I'd had that summary during Pesach. Although for women in Orthdox homes it's more work that planning a wedding I think. It was my first year as an "observant" person and I was really overwhelmed. And I didn't even do much entertaining.!
Anyway it was a great summary and a pleasure. Look for another post from me up above.