Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I have help

Hi Everyone,

It's been awhile since I last blogged, I hope everyone is doing well and want to say sorry for not stopping by lately.

Life has been so busy here. Having 3 boys keeps you on your toes, things are settling down a bit and we have finally fallen into a good routine for therapies and school.

This Sunday we went to visit my father. He has decided to move into an assisted living community so that he can have help but still have his freedom.

I worried the night before how Adam was going to react to seeing our Dad in a new place. I worried that K.C. was going to see Adam upset and cry. I did everything I possibly could the week before to prepare both boys for the trip to see Dad/Grandpa.

I went to Wide World of Maps and got the photos of my Dad laminated since Adam will eat/chew on a regular photo if it's not laminated. He also has chewed a fairly big hole in the seat of the van. I am taking him to the doctor Thursday to discuss his eating problems. He is so skinny, I can't really get him to eat much, only Eggo Waffles. Morning, Noon and Night, Eggo Waffles. It's tough to get him to try something new as well. The problem is he'll eat things that are NOT food easily but won't eat real food for me.

Our trip went well. Big Brother held K.C.'s hand and I stayed within arms reach of Adam. He's fast, faster than I am, K.C. I can catch but Adam is like greased lightening. When we walked into Dad's new home Adam pinched me. I knew he was nervous being in a new place. I was even nervous myself, biting my nails, Adam pinches instead of biting his nails. Everyone does something when they are nervous. K.C. made a beeline for the DVD player my father has. My Dad smiled for the first time in a long time. He went to Adam and gave him a big hug, I watched Adam, he did everything he could not to make any eye contact with my father. He is this way with everyone. K.C. has poor eye contact but Adam has virtually no eye contact. I do catch him peering out of the corners of his eyes alot and I'll say, "is that a smile I see, did I see those eyes?" Sometimes I will see a grin from him and I know he is happy when I say that because he sticks around. Even though K.C. and Adam are both non verbal, their body language and actions say almost as much a words could. I love the boys dearly and feel so lucky to have them. Each day I pray I am making a difference in their lives. Sitting with the boys and doing an activity with them or reading with them makes me very happy. Some days are very tough days, then there are the good days. We have more good days that tough ones.

Taking Adam to places that my Mom used to take him to is tough. It's tough because nearly every time I take him I always hear how much they miss my Mom and I know Adam hears it. I miss her terribly but I don't think it's good to bring it up every time. He hears and has feelings, I asked his therapists not to mention my Mom's name so much in front of Adam before a therapy session begins. I just want him to be able to get the most out of each session without any sad thoughts.

K.C. has been doing well and has even started to do more things for himself since Adam is with us. The truth is, sometimes Adam needs more help than K.C. and I get wrapped up with Adam and K.C. will try to do for himself. I feel badly about this sometimes but my sister says she thinks "it's great!"

Big Brother is my "little reporter" these days. He helps me so much, this little boy is an awesome kiddo. He will be going to 2ND grade in August, Adam goes to a private Autism school and K.C. will be going there in August as well.

I have started to search for a part time Nanny. I could use the extra help on certain days, shopping days, doctors appointments and Big Brother had a violin recital I barley made it too. My sister helps a bit but not very much. She's young and constantly on the go. Another change I made was I hired a part time cleaning company to come in twice a week to do the heavy cleaning for us and it has made a huge difference! I have more time for the boys and I feel so much better knowing I have the extra time with them. I love spending as much time with them as possible. Family is so important, I realize this even more now that my Mother is gone. When I do find a Nanny I will have her references thoroughly checked out and a fingerprint/background check as well. I will certainly use a Nanny Cam and would not even consider having a Nanny without one. My "little reporter" will be watching intently, if he sees or hears anything that worries him he'll report it.

I will be stopping by to visit everyone soon, I hope you kiddos are all well and that you are doing good too. Thank you for all of your support, it means the world to us.


Niksmom said...

Tina, this may sound odd but...there's something about the tone of this post that just sounds so much more peaceful; it's wonderful to read! You sure have your hands full...but then anyone with three boys in the house does! LOL

I am so glad that you are getting some help and having more time to be with the boys.

I think of you often and am glad to know things are going fairly well. Sending you hugs. xoxo

gretchen said...

I knew you would handle all of this wonderfully! I know there are tough days- we all have those! Tough weeks and months even :-) But I'm glad to hear that the good days outnumber the bad. Great to read this report!!!

kristi said...

So glad you are okay. I have been thinking of you and the boys.

Melissa H said...

Tina, your strength amazes me. I'm so glad to hear how things are starting to fall into place AND that you have brought in a cleaning service and are looking for a nanny. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to reach out. Thinking of you often and praying for you even more. XOXO

kristina said...

It's so good to know how you are all doing (and that you hired the cleaning lady!). Have been thinking of you and really admire how you are moving forward. I know what you mean about it being hard when therapists mention your mom in front of Adam especially.

I feel so proud of KC knowing that he is doing more for himself. See, all the time you have put into helping him is making a difference----so many changes and adjustments for everyone.

very warm wishes from Kristina

JUST A MOM said...

TINA..... you just make my heart beat,,, young lady you have such a great heart and so much SELF stuff... I am no where near you in a personal way BUT I will tell you I am so proud of you,,, I am so not sure I could handle what you have been given and that sister of yours needs to get herself over and help you. Need anything I can do let me know.

Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

It sounds like you are finding a new rhythm to your life. I wish you lots of strength!

Anonymous said...

sounds like you are doing incredibly well with such an enormous (and sad to have your mom gone) change!

i am so glad to hear that you have some help! good luck with your search for a nanny. we'll be sending you MOST EXCELLENT nanny-finding vibes every day.

Donetta said...

Hello Tina, I have been checking up on you and am so delighted to hear of your fortune and days. It sounds like thing are falling into place for you.
It sounds so much as if the life your handed is one that will effect your own sweet son in a very positive way. I love the Nanny cam idea. The way you are delegating is a real good thing.
Are you getting self care time at all? Even if it is just a bubble bath. It will help to refresh your soul.

Casdok said...

Great to hear things have settled down abit. Sounds me like you are doing a fantastic job. Brill idea to get some help in.
Hugs to you all.

Eileen said...

I am so happy to hear that you are all doing well and that you will have some help. You certainly have a lot on your plate. You are a very strong woman and the boys are lucky to have you! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to make this big adjustment.

Jerry Grasso said...

I'm glad to seeing some positive things happening.

LAA and Family said...

I'm glad to hear that you are taking on everything that has come your way and that you are getting the help that you need. Best wishes!

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

Sounds like you are all settling in wonderfully. I too think it's great that KC is feeling more independent.

Glad you're looking for some help so you can have some time for YOU too!


A Bishops Wife said...

I am glad everyone is starting to adjust a bit.

You are so special.

Melissa H said...

Just checking in on you, sweet friend.

Mrs. C said...

Hi! I'm hoping you don't take the tone of my comment as bossy, but I noticed you said you laminated stuff. Since you're a homeschooler, you probably should sign up at Office Max with a teacher card. They give a one time free laminating, I think usually sometime in August. Just a thought. I tried visiting their website and don't see info on it right now but I DID get laminating done last year for FREE. I didn't have much, though since Elf is not severely autistic and doesn't do the chewing.

I hope that helps. I am putting you on my blogroll under autism bloggers. I like to have many different friends with different opinions on lotsa stuff. God bless ya!