Monday, September 21, 2009

Very Sad Week Pray For Us

My Dad has been struggling with the flu (flu like symptoms) over a two month period. Over the two months he got Pneumonia and has had Asthma ever since I can remember. I remember him always carrying an inhaler. He's also been depressed since Mom passed away in April. He passed away last week very quietly in his sleep. The folks at the care home called me at 5 a.m. and asked me to come to the centre. I knew it was going to happen. I had the feeling. I called Rabbi Levy and he did show up an hour later. Called relatives, said they would leave as soon as possible. My Dad's brother lives in Israel along with his wife and children. If it wasn't for Rabbi Levy and his kindness I couldn't have planned alone. I have been so scatterbrained not to mention this week Rosh Hashanah. It's given me strength that I need and my children need. The Shiva was so hard. I didn't think I could do it. I just kept thinking of Mom and now Dad and how lonely he's been without her. They did everything together. I have watched his health go down the tubes since Mom passed away. He just lost any love for life. It weakened him. Broke my heart. Still breaking. We feel very alone now. I only have my grandma who is very old. Now I keep thinking she will be leaving us soon.

Dad's brother asked that the boys and I come to stay with his family in Israel for a couple weeks. I'm not sure. Scatterbrained I am. Sorry this post is so scattered. Maybe getting away would be good for me but the boys routines would be so interrupted I think it would be extremely tough. Our helper who is also Jewish says she would come along to help with Adam and KC. I'm thinking yes we should try...still don't know. For sure nothing is certain.

17 comments:

Mrs. C said...

I'm so sorry to read this!

I hear you on that travelling dilemma. What would be most helpful to everyone? Is it possible for them to come to you, if the situation were explained? You have my prayers during this tough time!!

Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

Oh Tina! I have been thinking of you and am so sorry I didn't get a Shana Tova message out (I didn't get one out to anyone, including my brother and sisters). To have to sit shiva now and Rosh Hashana, and it's all so hard.

I'm really not sure what to advise you about coming here. On the one hand, I'd love to meet you and your guys, but on the other hand I know how hard it is to disrupt routine. Travel can be so rough! Especially if you have to change planes and then the sitting all that time, keeping them busy, keeping them calm. It would certainly be a challenge!

Where does your dad's brother live?

I continue to pray for you and yours, and send you much love and warmth and wishes for a year of growth that comes sweetly and not from pain. I pray that G-d continue to give you the strength you need to meet your challenges.

May you know no more sorrow...

Niksmom said...

Oh, Tina! My heart is heavy for you; the loss is hard. I will hold you and the boys in my heart and prayers.

I know it would be a real challenge but if you have your helper who is willing to come along...I can't help but wonder if the time in Israel would be a balm for all of you A chance to connect to other family members and to experience something different. Might help heal the wounds?

Whatevre you decide, know that I'm sending good thoughts your way. xo

gretchen said...

I'm so sorry to read this. You hear of it happening- one spouse doesn't last long without the other. I'm sorry that you have so much to handle alone- wish I could help.

I kind of hope that you decide to make the trip. I would look forward to hearing about it, but at the same time would be afraid to make a long trip like that myself with my one autistic child (not to mention two). If your helper will really go with you than it might be do-able. Keep us posted...

Donetta said...

KC, yes I will pray for you on this. Inform yourself of the customs and times of Israel right now. It is a real possibility that the boys could loose a lot of the rights allocated the special needs population confirm their possition in this before you go.
I am sorry for the pains you are enduring. May your heart heat gently.
Donetta

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen said...

I'm sorry to read this post. This year has been hard for you. Take time to grieve and know God cares for you and your family.

Prayers and Blessings*

Casdok said...

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Ive never been brave enough to take C away so i do understand that it is a very difficult descision. My heart goes out to you all.

mommy~dearest said...

I am so very sorry...

I understand the feeling the need to be close to family at this time, but the boys (all of them), may need to be in familiar surroundings at this time. I've been to Israel, and although parts of it were beautiful, there was quite a bit of drama for being an American woman. I don't know how the possibility of dealing with that on top of grief would fare. Just something to think about.

Again, my deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Lora said...

I am so very sad for you my dearest friend, it makes me cry. PLEASE let me know if you would like for us to fly out to be with you. We can and will do everything possible to help you. I will drop everything to help you and to be with you in this time of need. You know that we love you guys dearly and that you mean the world to us so PLEASE let me know. I am adding texting back to my phone and will send you a message today. Big Big hugs and lots of love to you guys!

Melissa H said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Tina. May the Omnipresent comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. Will pray for you and your family.

autisable said...

Please touch base with us. We'd like to share your story on Autisable.com

redheadmomma said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Tina. You've been through so much. You are SUCH a blessing to all those in your life. Do what feels best to you, and we will be here rooting for you.

HUGS! R

The MSAAF inc said...

I am so sorry for your loss, please keep safe and keep us up to date... love

JUST A MOM said...

I STINK these days keeping up with the puter.... I am so sorry I hoep you can find peace in yoru heart knowign that they are together and happy now. Hang in there you have my email if ya need anything.

boots said...

you have my prayrs

kristi said...

I am so sorry, I am behind on blog reading. Praying for your family.