Tuesday, January 06, 2009

What's Been Going On.

Hello Friends,

Sorry I haven't posted in so long....It has been so busy here with the boys and I got sick (very scary).
During the holidays that the boys had off for school I got sick. So sick in fact that I had to call 911. I had just finished making dinner for the boys and started to put the dishes into the sink when I felt my heart palpitating very fast. I sat down cause it scared me so much. I called Big Brother downstairs and asked him if he would sit with me cause I was sick and a little scared. He looked kinda shocked but he stayed with me. I kept feeling worse and mentioned to Big Brother in a very happy sort of way that, "gosh, I feel horrible, I wonder what we would do if I fainted or something like that?" Then I said, "Oh I know, you could call 911 and make sure you stay with the boys every second." Meanwhile as I am talking to Big Brother I am getting worse, my heart starts beating faster and then I start to not be able to breath or hear anything, then, I was told, "I passed out."
I woke up to Big Brother leaning over me with the phone in his hand and crying. He was talking to 911. I saw K.C. walk right pass me and walk to the refrigerator and go back to the living room with a big smile on his face. He was scared to death my brave little boy was. God I hated myself for being sick and felt like such a failure for making him go through this. The paramedics came and started an i.v. and put me on a heart monitor, they gave me something called Dopamine and Potassium something something. I felt better but weak, very weak. The whole time I am thinking and freaking out cause my boys had no one to stay with them cause our helper went home (out of state) for the holidays. The officer asked me if he could call anyone (police arrived first) and I mentally went through my list of who was home. My Dad was the only person I could call. He is in a retirement care home but I had no choice. A female officer walked through the door and walked K.C. and Big Brother outside because, "she had something really cool to show them in her patrol car." Adam never came down stairs so I mentioned to the officer that my little brother was upstairs and he might be really scared hearing the commotion. I heard the officer knock on the door that was probably already standing wide open, I heard footsteps, then really fast footsteps, I knew those were Adam's and he was making a run to hide in the closet. I asked another officer who was downstairs to go up stairs and ask the other officer to come back down and leave Adam alone cause he's scared. He did come down thankfully he didn't insist he come out of the closet. I have Autism Stickers, Their ages and Names on the boys bedroom doors just in case.
The female officer came back in with the boys as they loaded me into the ambulance. I asked them to stop so I could talk to the boys. I was so scared leaving them, I tried to hold back crying and it was hard. I told Big Brother to look after Adam and K.C. the very best he could and help the officers til Papa came. I told K.C. I love him and "Mama was going to the hospital cause she wasn't feeling to good and that I would be back." I must tell you, I felt so horrible I really thought I was dying. I wondered if what I just told K.C. was a lie. I always try to be straight forward with him so he knows what to expect and that I mean it. The female officer said she would stay with the boys til their grandpa came. Thank God for this lady.
I went to the hospital praying my Dad would hurry as fast as he possibly could to our house. I knew Adam was so scared. I just wanted to jump off the stretcher and run up the stairs and hold him.
When I got to the hospital I had another EEG that showed my heart was at 145 beats per minute, the lab came and took blood, I went for an MRI, they had to shoot this dye in my veins, they were looking for clots. The dye is kinda scary, it makes your entire body heat up and you can feel it going through every vein in your body. I also had a chest xray. When the labs came back they said I had extremely low amounts of Potassium and then the doctor said I was very dehydrated. She asked me if I was taking care of myself, in my head I though, "not really like I should be." I told her I was taking care of myself. I had to stay overnight to get i.v.s to re hydrate me and then I had to get an i.v. of Potassium which burns so bad it is unbearable. It feels like fire going through your veins. The nurse had warned me before she began the Potassium.
My Dad came up to the hospital the next morning and I freaked out seeing him there thinking the boys were alone. He said that our helper had taken a flight back to AZ. He then went on to say that as soon as I left in the ambulance Big Brother called our helper friend and told her to come back fast. She did, all the way from Chicago. God Bless her. God bless her.
Before I went home the doctor said I have got to eat, drink and take good care of myself. Thinking about things since my Mom passed, Adam coming to stay with us and just everything in general I had weighed, 155 lbs, now I am down to 135lbs. I didn't stop long enough to realize what was happening. I knew I was losing weight but really never stopped to think why. Everything has been such a whirlwind. Things will change. I am very lucky I am still here and will never put the boys through that again.
Adam was the first kiddo I seeked out when I got home. He was happy to see me and I asked him for a big big hug and got it. Gosh I love that Big Boy. I felt like I had been gone for ages. I am just so glad to be home with the boys again. The Boys are my life and the reason I am live. My whole world revolves around them and their happiness. I just have to remember to eat and drink!
Before I got sick we did some Mountain climbing and I took Big Brother and Adam to see the snow, K.C. does not like snow on his hands at all. K.C. stayed with our helper and just the three of us went up north. It was beautiful and cold. Big Brother needed to get away badly. This little boy does so much for me I feel very guilty for making him do so much. Do you guys feel like that too? I asked Big Brother while we were driving in the car how he felt his life was going. We always talk like this and it gives me good insight. He said, "its going pretty good mom, sometimes its hard and K.C. and Adam can be a pain in the butt especially K.C. but my friend at school says his brother is a pain too and he DOES NOT have Autism. When he said those words, word for word I quote him, it made me happy. He understands all brothers no matter Autistic or not Autistic can be a pain in the butt.
The kids are back in school and things will be o.k. til January 12Th. January 12Th is when K.C. is having surgery. We have been visiting an ENT Doctor and he wants K.C. to have, "every benefit he has to offer him to help him." He is having his tonsils and adenoids removed along with a Sinus reduction up his nose. Tubes put in his ears too. He will be having the works. We will see if this helps K.C.. I am praying it will help him out. Please pray for him January 12th. I am so nervous for him. We went to a meeting type thing last night that allows the children who will be having surgery to walk through where they will be at in the hosp and get to try an Anesthesia mask on etc. K.C. was not thrilled but I took pictures to let him know that, "soon he will visit the hospital again." I marked it on the calendar.
Lots happening with the boys.
Thank you all for checking in, we love you guys!


Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

Oh Tina! Life just doesn't let up on you for a second, does it? First of all sending you big hugs and also bananas (lots of potassium ;))

Tina, do you and your boys have Jewish names? I have been praying for you guys, but it would be great if I could use your Hebrew names.

Sending you lots of love!

kristi said...

I was wondering about you guys! I am so sorry you were sick, I am sure you have been going on Autopilot and it caught up with you. Do you take vitamins??

Girl, take care of yourself!

Mrs. C said...

Oh, I thought you were just busy with holidays! BLESS YOU!!!

Yes, I will remember to pray for KC. G had all that stuff done (except for tonsils) as well and it is NO FUN when the child first wakes up. They also told me to keep the kid from running around for three weeks (as if that were possible!!). But I think the long-term benefits were worth it. Try to keep that in mind, but I know it's hard to see your baby go through that!


Niksmom said...

OMG! Tina, I'm so sorry you went through that awful experience. But, holy cow, the presence of mind of your oldest son. And that your helper flew back? AWESOME.

Will keep KC in my prayers for a successful and easy surgery and hospital stay!

I wish you peace, good health, and the love of those you hold dear. Happy New Year, my friend. xoxo

gretchen said...

This post was so hard to read- I feel terrible! Oh my gosh I can't imagine having to leave those three boys- I want to give you my phone number, but what good could I have done from Ohio?!

You know that you have to take better care of yourself, and this is also a good reminder to all of us to prepare our children for emergencies. I am somewhat prone to fainting myself and I wonder if my kids would know what to do...

And I am trying to teach Tommy that, yes, brothers always bug each other, whether one is autistic or not.

We love you guys- please take care of yourselves!!!!

gretchen said...

PS- Henry had tubes put in his ears and his adenoids removed when he was little. I sat in the waiting room and cried, but the whole procedure took like 5 minutes. He was MAD when he came out of the anesthetic, but was fine.

Melissa H said...

Oh my gosh, Tina! I had to walk away from your post before I could comment because I was so upset for you! How scared you must have been, not only for your health but for all of the boys! Constantly worrying, the whole time you were in the hospital, I'm sure!
It sounds as if your helper is a wonderful find.
And, more tears when I read what Big Brother said about his friend's little brother. <3 Tell Big Brother how proud I am of him. He's such a smart, grown-up boy. xoxo from Melissa and Conor!

A Bishops Wife said...


I have been so comcerned about you and visit regularly to see if you had written anything.

Please take care of your self too. You are such a beautiful person, and so brave.


redheadmomma said...

Excuse my french, but HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT!!!! OH MY GOD you must have been scared out of your mind!!!! I know you don't talk about your husband much and he's out of town, but could he have helped if it was an emergency? Always good to be prepared.

OH MY GOODNESS. What you went through! Thank goodness for your helper & that lady officer - it sounds like all the police were considerate with the kids' special needs - which is so great.

Glad some of the kiddos got to see the snow, and I will most certainly send good thoughts into the universe for K.C. during his surgery. They knocked Noah out to put 2 crowns on his teeth, etc. and I was a crying wreck. And you know what? They knew what they were doing, and they treated him, and us, great. So I was worried for nothing. Just remember he's in very good hands!!!

love from Seattle, R

Casdok said...

Wow. You poor thing - i cant imagine how scary that must have been. Big Brother is an absolute star as is your helper.
All the very best for K.C. and look forward to hearing of any improvements.
You take care!!

mommy~dearest said...

Wow. I am vowing at this very minute to take better care of myself. How very scary.

Kudos to Big Brother (and your quick forethought) for his bravery, and also to the policewoman and your awesome helper!

Sending prayers~

kristina said...

I read this fast because I wanted to make sure that you are ok----and then to hear that KC has to have surgery----it seems neverending. Please please take care of yourself. This is something I have been known to forget to do and it is hard to balance it all and you have so much to do! Will be checking in and please know we're always with you, always.

Donetta said...

Tina, I am so glad your doing better now. Wow your angles were looking over you!
Hay My Boy had the surgeries except the tubes (he may have yet to do that) anyway at Phoenix Childrens and they were great. Don't know if that is your hospital. We are now using the CRS clinic down town. The same surgeon though.
Dash woke up after surgery, I'll never forget it! He took a real deep breath and said "I can breath!"
huge difference. He had a real badly deformed throat

Nicki Mann said...

Wow that sounds like it was a horrid experience for everyone! But your family is so strong and you all got through it well. :) Remember to take care of yourself!!!

JUST A MOM said...

OH MY I AM LATE,,,, I am so glad you are alright,,,,,

Lora said...

Oh My Gosh Tina! I wish that I had known about what happened to you! I am so sorry that I have not been checking your blog........what a lousy friend I have been! There has been a lot going on here and I have been remiss in reading your blog.

I sure do hope that you are feeling better, I will read your latest entry and see how you are doing. You know that you are so loved and cared for and that I am always here for you? I hope that you feel that in your heart.

You are terribly missed and I still hold on to the hope that I will once again get a letter from you, just as we used to do.

we love you guys dearly!

Melinda said...

oh my....everyone's worst nightmare come true for you! I always wondered WHO I could call too in a situation like that. It is horrible...I am happy you made it through and everything worked out well! VERY scary indeed!

I am sorry KC has to have that surgery too. I read later where afterwards he had some issues. I was afraid of the same for Noah when he faced surgery last year. I am thankful he was able to avoid that and I pray he and KC and all the others out there can always avoid it again in the future!


Take care!