Monday, November 24, 2008

Peter Piper Pizza and one awful day.






Hello! I am happy to report that Adam has been taking art classes with an instructor! (work is displayed on the sidebar) The instructor works with special needs kids and he says Adam has real talent! His memory for detail is unbelievable when it comes to painting, the painting above he worked on for a week! After he had finished it, the instructor set his work area up, paints etc. the second painting was an exact replica of his first! I mean down to the last detail! We don't know if he seen this himself somewhere or if it's his own thoughts and feelings. Either way, we love it cause it's from Adam's very own hand. I could never do this. The only thing is that Adam wants to paint the same thing over and over and over again. Maybe he's trying to tell us something? Big Brother calls his painting,"Chaos." He really likes it. Adam has found a new love in painting and I am thrilled! If my Mom could see this she would be crying, surprised and then she would cry some more. I am so proud of him and most of all we are all happy that HE loves what he's doing. God forbid anyone touch his artwork until he's completely finished! K.C. got into one of Adam's paintings and Adam screamed and cried for nearly 2 hours. I did tell K.C. very sternly not to touch Adam's artwork. We got K.C. his own set over the weekend so that he'd hopefully stay away from Adam's. Adam let's Big Brother into his room when he's doing artwork but nobody else! I asked Big Brother why Adam only lets him into his room and he says, "because you make him nervous and he's afraid K.C. will touch his paints, I just sit and read while he paints or turn his t.v. on." Makes sense to me now that I think about it. Let me know what you guys think of Ad Man's painting and I will read them to him. I always read to him and I know he LOVES it. If he knows what others think of his paintings (don't worry, it's o.k. cause it's finished) I know he'll be encouraged.

I took the boys to Peter Piper Pizza yesterday. It started out as a good time and really it was a good time all the way through until it happened. I had been thinking about this happening over the years and thought that I would be ahead of the game and maybe it would happen but it did. Adam was sitting with me in the booth eating bread stick. K.C. was too and Big Brother as well. Adam stayed with me the whole time. I started to chat with a really nice old lady who was there with her great grandchildren. This lady was still driving! Anyhow, Big Brother says, "can K.C. and I go climb the pay structure?" I thought to myself, "should I let him go?" Then thought, "dam nit, he can play too, everyone Else's kids are playing and so is he!" So off they went. I watched K.C. climb up high with his soda in his hand. An employee saw K.C. with his soda and kept saying, "hey little boy, you can't have that up there, you'll spill it." Anyhow, K.C. ignored him and the worked walked off shaking his head. I then see Big Brother waving and waved back and pointed for him to follow K.C. He knows he has to stick with him always. Just for a few seconds K.C. was out of sight. O.K., maybe a few minutes. When he did appear again, he was naked. He was naked climbing down from way up high. Oh God, as I type this I get that horrible feeling again. My heart sank and Big Brother was screaming at K.C. The old lady I was sitting near looked horrified and I asked her to please sit with Adam til I get K.C. taken care of. She motioned for me to hurry and I ran over to K.C. and tried to hide him in a tunnel til Big Brother could retrieve his pants. I dressed him super quickly and as we came out people were pointing, laughing and Big Brother was pissed. A little girl about 11 years old kept pointing at us as we took our seats next to Adam. I expected her Mama to tell her to mind her business and stop pointing but SHE DIDN'T! Big Brother by this time was crying and pissed beyond all belief. He said, "can I go to the bathroom?" I believed him and scooted out to let him through. He grabbed his soda and he went and I noticed he wasn't heading to the bathroom but straight over to that pointing little girl. He walked straight up to her took the lid off his soda and threw it in her face. Then he started to point and laugh at her (called her "ugly"). The Mom came over to us and screamed at me. Adam was getting very agitated and then a worker came and asked US to leave. I said, "what the hell for?" He said, "because customers are afraid for their children and your son won't keep his clothes on, it's a health risk." So I told him off and let him know the only risk will be when my lawyer contacts them for discrimination. He said nothing. We left with the boys. K.C. was still smiling, Adam looked agitated, Big Brother looking very satisfied with his soda throwing episode. In the car Adam sat with Big Brother, I heard him whispering to Adam, "we showed them, how does she like it, then he says, give me five Adam!" That didn't go well with me. When we have a bad incident in a supermarket or wherever, Big Brother knows we get into the van and no words are allowed til we get home. No words at all. It helps a great deal and it calms everyone down faster. We talk about it later. Big Brother has extra chores to do this week because of his soda throwing and I had a long talk about what would have been a better choice in the situation. He named a few better choices, he clearly understands. He's 8 years old, he's going to encounter alot of people like that as the boys grow up and he's with them. We have to handle it as best we can. We can't help that people are ignorant. I am so thankful for people in the Autism community, you guys are people who live our lives everyday, you understand. Very thankful.
More news... we are going to (hopefully) sell this house and move to a single story home with 5 bedrooms. It will be less crowded and the boys will feel better. The xtra bedroom we want to turn into the boys ABA room. Both boys have their ABA instructors come in the evening and it would be really nice to have one big therapy room. It will be a big step but we are ready for it!

P.S. that is our doggy in one of the photos, I couldnt get her to turn around.

19 comments:

redheadmomma said...

I think Adam's artwork is breathtaking. I have a degree in art, so I know what I'm talking about!! It is BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I'm sooooooooo very sorry that you had that experience - oh MAN. We went to a bouncy house place last week, but we go during special hours when it's only open to kids with special needs. There was a boy there who kept taking off his pants, and the dad was mortified, but it was okay, becuse the place was full of special needs parents who "got it" and no one laughed and pointed that that kid. Is there anything in your area like that, that is special-needs-children friendly?

lots of love, R

Mrs. C said...

I'm surprised they actually asked you to leave. I've seen kids literally cuss, smack others upside the head, kicking and other forms of bullying and nothing is ever done. I know you don't think the soda-throwing is right... but I see so many places in your narrative that things could have calmed down, but people kept egging it on. Then they were surprised when your child reacted. Then it's your "fault." Oh, my heart goes out to you today!! You were so brave to share this. ((((HUGS))))

Please tell Adam that his picture is happy people jumping on a cloudy day.

kristi said...

I was thinking of you last night and wondering how Adam was doing with his ABA.

I can't say I didn't have a smile on my face reading about KC...my little TC loves, loves, loves to be naked. He says, "look at me, I am naaaaked."

Big Brother, my heart goes out to him. People don't understand Autism, sometimes I think they never will.

kristina said...

What a lot-----glad you got out of there ok. And very glad you are moving; it will be great to have an extra room just for ABA----thinking of all of you.

kristina said...

What a lot-----glad you got out of there ok. And very glad you are moving; it will be great to have an extra room just for ABA----thinking of all of you.

Niksmom said...

Oh my goodness, lots going on , for sure! First of all, about Adam's painting— I think it's fantastic! I winder if it's an expression of mixed feelings? I see some darkness and chaos, yes (maybe the death of your mother and leaving his home?). But I also see some softer, more tranquil colors. Maybe representing the peace he is finding with his new home and routines?

As for the restaurant incident; I am so sorry that happened and that it got handled the way it did both by big brother and by the manager (and the snotty little girl's mother, too!). Just know that you did NOTHING wrong and you are a good mom. It's so hard to be angry with big brother since I know he was protecting KC in the only way he knew how. He loves him so much.

I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers always. Keeping my fingers crossed for the new house, too! :-) xoxo

Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

Oh gosh Tina - big hugs! I have to think about what strengthening words I could say to you, but the warm thoughts are there.

The artwork is beautiful - so colorful, so exciting, so energetic! And he does the same thing every time? Amazing!

Good luck with the house hunt.

Casdok said...

I just love Adams art work!

And i know how it feels for your son to strip off in public - and i also know how it feels to want to pour a drink over someone!! But as yet i havent!!

The house move sounds like a great idea.

mommy~dearest said...

Wow. What a day, huh?

As far as Adam's painting- I love it! I love it, love it, love it. And he made one exactly like it? Wow. Adam- you have a talent, buddy. Keep at it! And make me one! Really. ;)

Donetta said...

Oh life! Wow I am so proud of the great work that Adam is doing with his art. The focal is well placed.
I see a sphere in the lower right and a life to the left like cutting through the line is like a plain to travel out like a light saber sorta.
Good parenting. It must be so hard for big brother and I am glad you do not let them make him like them.
No one else removed his clothing? That would really freak me out too.

DMV47 said...

I fumed reading this, and have to admit that it probably would've been hard for me to control my temper in that situation...mymmybear's still working on her temper,temper,temper anyway! :) I'm in no way condoning BB's soda-hurling, but I'm glad KC has such a protective sibling!

JUST A MOM said...

ok Tina I have to say and I know that this is not a good thing to say being an adult... but WAY TO GO BIG BROTHER!!!! ok I feel better too,, now never do it again! the painting is beautiful... hope you get the hosue you want I am sure it will help so much!

A Bishops Wife said...

WOW!

You sounds as though you handled that very well. I more than likely would have lost it with the mother. People are so mean.

I love Adams painting. It reminds me of my favorite artist:
JACKSON POLLOCK

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Jackson+Pollock&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title

If you do a google image search, you will be amazed. Adam may love it too.

Nicki Mann said...

Ph, Lord, that sounds like a nightmare! I don't have children of my own with autism, but I've worked with kids with autism for many years as an aide, respite worker, therapeutic mentor, etc. I know one of the worst things is when something like this happens, and everyone... such as workers, other customers, etc... start making a big deal out of it, gathering around, yelling, trying to discipline the child themselves, etc. I think it would be better if people would just do one of two things,.. either offer to help, such as keep an eye on the other kids, or whatever... or calmly walk away and mind their own business!
I kinda admire Big Brother for sticking up for his little bro like that, but, you're right, you can't go through life throwing soda on anyone who angers you! He'll have to learn other ways to deal people like that, as he gets older.
Sorry you had to go through that!!!!!!!

Anon. said...

Oh wow, my heart really goes out to you re the restaurant debacle! Been there myself many a time.

I have three boys, one of whom is autistic. He also likes to be naked and simply does not understand why it is not cool. He is 14, so it is now even worse than when he was a little guy! Fortunately my other two guys are experts at keeping an eagle eye on their brother.

I really feel for Big Brother, and understand his actions and the rage and frustration that set him off...even though of course you had to have consequences. Hang in there!

Melinda said...

WOW! SO much has happened!

First of all....tell Adam I would love to have one of his paintings like the one posted on the side bar...it is beautifully done! A "masterpiece" and I find it fascinating he can make others just the same as the one before! He could SELL these if painted on canvas I bet!

I also smiled at the Peter Piper Pizza incident......Noah used to run around naked a lot too.....thank goodness he usually kept his clothes on in most public places...I am sorry you all had to experience the stress....but I have to admit.....I would have probably given Big Brother a HIGH FIVE for his thoughts and actions. I find his compassion for sticking up for his brother and his thoughtfulness and caring to be second to none.....even if a bit misguided.

I mean we have to admit..many of us would have probably also felt compelled to do what he did with the soda to different ones in our lives who have made fun of our kids. We just didn't follow through on our thoughts ... there's something to be said sometimes about childhood fearlessness....though I do understand they have to learn the "proper" and "acceptable" behaviors for such situations....

Wishing you well and tell Adam I anxiously await his next painting!

Melissa H said...

Tina!

First, tell Adam that I LOVE his painting and I would be proud to hang it in my family room! :-)

Second, I totally understand the stripping. Conor has stopped actually taking his clothes off, but he is constantly shoving his hand down the back of his pants. Ugh.

As for Big Brother? I know that you have to make sure that he grows up and does the right thing, but I totally don't blame him. It's okay to think about doing those things, but not okay to do them. But, tell him that I'm proud of him because he stuck up for KC.

xoxo

A Bishops Wife said...

I hope everything is going well.
I hope you have a great new year!

mommy~dearest said...

Hope everything's been okay- miss your posts!