Saturday, August 16, 2008

Under Control, Somewhat.

July and August have been the toughest months by far. K.C. has had so many self injurious behaviors we are just now getting them under control. This little boy has made a dramatic change in two months time. "Can his Autism become worse I asked his Doctor?" The Doctor said that sometimes when children with Autism reach third grade or when they are about to become teenagers there is a huge hormonal change and he believes this is why K.C. has changed so much. Interesting. I don't know if that is what is really happening with K.C. but we have done things like increasing his Occupational Therapy and doing lots of sensory projects at home. K.C. really loves shaving cream and could play in it for the longest time. When his Big Brother tries to join him he leaves pretty quick. Big Brother has gotten so used to his brother up and leaving him he doesn't say a word about it anymore. I have been taking Big Brother to my sisters house on the weekends to swim with his little cousin Lynn Lynn. Adam and K.C. stay with me and we have even made a few trips inside McDonald's to eat lunch. We usually sit as far away from people as we can. I want to take the boys out and enjoy life without being stared at so we sit away from folks. I have no doubt that Adam and K.C. understand what is going on and know when people stare/talk about them. I used to not be sure of how much K.C. could understand but watching Adam and talking with my Dad he promises me that K.C. knows even though it appears he is not listening. When Adam came to stay with us after my Mom passed away he couldn't even put his own shoes on his feet. He put his pants on backwards. Adam has been doing sessions of ABA and guess what? This teenager is putting his own shoes on and almost, almost his own clothes. The thing is he can put them on but sometimes they are backwards or inside out. Going into ABA the first time with a teenager I was skeptical. I knew that ABA worked for young children but teenagers? It does work! Last night we made a trip to McDonald's and as I was putting K.C.'s shoes on, I asked Adam to, "put shoes on feet." I asked him to do it once and he hesitated but I was persistent and he did it! I think he was proud of himself because he was so calm in McDonald's. Being calm but persistent in what I ask of the boys is really working wonders. Sometimes you just have to let them do it themselves even if the task seems to big and watching them struggle to do something hurts. After all we are Mom's and we want to do anything we can to help our kids. Adam's ABA teacher said that I am helping by not helping. He was right.

The boys are in school finally! It seemed like the longest Summer but to be honest I sure do miss all three during the day. I feel lost without them and sometimes I wander this house picking up a favorite toy of theirs and just thinking and hoping they are all o.k. at school. So far the boys are adjusting well to school. Big Brother goes to private school and Adam and K.C. go to a private Autism school. We have gotten a routine down and the boys know what to expect each morning. During the morning time our helper Tacey makes breakfast for all three and packs their lunches. I help them get prepared for school. Adam is still eating Eggo Waffles and is as thin as a rail. He likes them toasted extra crunchy and will drink a tall glass of orange juice. K.C. has been eating Life cereal, just plain life cereal minus the milk (he's allergic). He'll drink Apple Juice. Big Brother will eat just about anything you place in front of him. Packing two Autistic kids lunches has to be the hardest part. Their teachers have refrigerators in the classroom thankfully and a microwave. I literally have to think and think of what the heck to have Tacey pack for them. K.C. eats a whole lot but it has to be the same things everyday. Adam eats very little.
I did manage to do something for myself! I went to the mall and ate by myself and then I walked through the mall to Sears and bought a new bra and socks. I am going to buy some new clothes soon because I have been losing alot of weight the past three months. I haven't been dieting but I have been busy and stressed at times so maybe that did it. I can now fit into a size 10 sometimes and a 12. While I was at them mall I walked past a store called, "Hot Topic." It's a store that is definitely for teenagers. I started thinking about Adam, he's a teenager, why can't he wear these clothes? He may be Autistic but that is no reason he can't look "cool" as Big Brother would say. I bought him three pairs of pants, two pairs of shorts and the "coolest" shoes. He got alot of nice comments in his notebook from school. He looks like a totally different kiddo. He's such a handsome young fella. I know my Mom wouldn't agree with what Adam is wearing but she was a bit old fashioned, I am not saying that is a bad thing but thinking of Adam and how he is a teen I thought he would feel more comfortable wearing a pair of Vans and dressing different. One thing for sure. Both K.C. and Adam like the same kind of socks. Both boys want to wear the "no show socks." Maybe they cannot tolerate the regular socks on their legs? When I came home from the mall and Big Brother had seen what I had bought for Adam he immediately said, "Mom why can't K.C. and I have those clothes too, pleaseeee!" So the next day I made another trip to the mall and got two more pairs of Vans, four pairs of shorts, socks and four shirts. The grand total of this shopping trip was $532.00 and I can tell you I will not be buying anymore clothes for a long time.

Hope you all are well and thank you to everyone who stops by to visit "The Boys."

Thank you to Sir Nik's Mommy at, I received the sign language videos and the boys love them. Thank you so much, you are sweethearts.


Niksmom said...

Tina, there's so much here! Wow. I'm glad the videos arrived and that the boys like them. I'm not exaggeratin when I say they changed our lives.

I'm glad the boys are back in school; perhaps the routine and predictability will help KC with the SIB's? I'm sure it's an adjustment having them all gone during the day. Can you take some time to do some nice things for yourself. You've been working so hard and so stressed; you deserve a break. :-)

Sending hugs. xo

~Miss Nelson said...

I am glad to hear that although the summer may have been tough, the boys are back in school and things sound like they are going well. I hope the school year starts off to a great start for all three boys and allows you a chance to catch up on some things that you may have been unable to do during the summer. Bests to you!

Melissa H said...

Tina, you never cease to amaze me. I hope that you realize what an amazing woman you are.
I laughed at the lunch packing. I was just thinking the same thing today because it seems as if Conor might be having issues with dairy. Not severe, but causing stomach/gastro issues as well as a rash on his face. Of course, everything the kid eats is centered around bread, pasta and dairy. Even his salad gets ranch dressing. Oh boy. :-)
Happy that the boys are back in school, giving you a chance to find YOU again.

JUST A MOM said...

look at you miss locked in my house and need some one to talk with ,,, your just so popular now a days girl... I am so proud of what you are doing with the boys... I so know it has to be hard and I am also very happy you have gotten a helper have I said this before not sure but oh well... have a great week next week.. good to see how things are going.

Casdok said...

Great to hear that the ABA is helping Adam.
And trendy new clothes all round! Excellent!

kristina said...

So glad to hear that things are progressing----hope this is the right school for KC, after so many transitions. I know what you mean about lunch, I go out of the way to try to pack lots and lots of different things for Charlie.

It's really good that you can take some time to yourself ----make the most of it!

Is KC getting ABA too, at school/home?

gretchen said...

Tina- you have to be the best mom EVER. You are exactly right that Adam should wear cool clothes too. But you deserve to buy yourself more than a bra and socks!!!

Henry loves frozen waffles and orange juice too- how funny! He doesn't like butter on his waffles, but I try to sneak it on, to fatten him up a little if I can. He also loves sausage links, so he gets some fat there :-)

Glad you made it through the summer and can have some time to catch your breath now.

Mrs. C said...

Yeahr, I kinda wondered what she's going to do all day, too. Got to live vicariously, you know! :]

Melinda said...

wow so much progress and so busy! Noah starts back to school next week and we are all hopeful and praying it will go smoothly too! I am proud of you and the kids too! You are doing an amazing job!

kristi said...

Wow! Sounds like things are moving right along. You are doing great!

Lora said...

You are the coolest mom there is! It is so wonderful that you recognize that clothes can make a difference for someone, Big Brother knows too. Often times I can tell that you have raised him so well because he has such a big heart (as all of them do)but Big Brother simply verbalizes what KC and Adam might be thinking. I buy Griffin's clothes at Old Navy and he looks so dapper in them, such a big boy/little man as we so affectionately call him. I am not aware of what teenagers wear these days but I hope that by the time Griffin is a teen that I will buy some cool clothes for him too.

big hugs to you all!