Everything Upside Down!

Lately K.C. has wanted everything turned upside down. Dishes, cups, toys etc. must be turned upside down after he's finished with them. Tonight Diet Coke in a can was turned upside down and left on the top of my cable box. It's no longer working :( I don't know what's got into him. Even with his eyes he's looking out of the corner as much as possible as if to try to see what's behind him. Don't know what to make of it. I do know he gets mighty angry if I turn his things that he's finished with upside down. Even if the dish is full of food it gets dumped. Hopefully he will soon let this upside down thing go. I wonder if he's Dyslexic? Don't know if it's a phase or? 
Adam is doing super well! He has been staying with family in Israel for the last 6 months. He will be coming back home to us very soon. When my Parents were alive Adam didn't get out much at all.  My Parents were excellent parents but my Mom was so overprotective of Adam that he really didn't go very many places or even have a ABA program that he needed to go to. My Mom kinda just accepted Adam as he was which is wonderful but I could always see that he was capable of so much more. This young man has been doing very well visiting AND staying with family. Of course his home is here with the boys and I. Visiting family is his second home. He still loves to paint and is truly gifted at what he does. God blessed this young man with such beautiful talent. He's doing very well and has adjusted over the months. I'm happy that he can see the world and that he's learning to cope with changes so much better each day. Some days are rough but all in all I have to say he's doing great! 
Big Brother and I are gearing up for fireworks! KC isn't a big fan of the noises that they make but we park quite far from the fireworks and don't hear the noises much but have a great view from where we sit. We are going to Walmart tomorrow to find some fireworks to buy for Big Brother. KC actually loves sparklers! He twirls them as he walks in circles never taking his eyes of the sparkles.
We hope all of you have a great holiday and please be safe! We will be trying to stay cool here in Arizona as it's been 115 degrees here!

How is the weather in your state?
(I managed to get this picture of KC looking straight at me after 6 tries! ) It's tough for him to make eye contact, if he does it's very quick! Gotta be fast to catch this guy!)  

Hello! We are back!

Hello Dear Friends,

It's been a very long time! We have missed all of you! New folks and old friends, so good to be back!
KC just celebrated his 10th birthday! He really loves How To Train Your Dragon. He adores the dragon and Hiccup. He has also been watching the preview to Cars2. That will be huge for him. I can see it in his face and the smile when anything Cars2 is previewed.
KC is doing well. He's one big kiddo for 10 years old. He's 110 pounds and now his head reaches my neck! I'm 5feet6inches.
KC didn't develop language over the years despite our very best efforts in Speech. KC was in Speech since he was about 2. He did learn signs over the years and PECS as well but for some reason we just couldn't get him to acquire any speech. I have found that over the years I have learned to read KC's face as well as family, we know what he wants. Only problem is strangers would never be able to do this without being around KC for along time. I would say our biggest help through the years was Occupational Therapy, to this day KC is on a therapy ball for at least 2 hours a day. He needs the bouncing. He needs is badly. It regulates him, makes him happier and able to cope better. We have been through many therapy balls. They have been my savior so to speak.
We have been swimming quite a bit this month since it's been so darn hot here. Nearly 110 here today. KC loves walking around the pool and loves the foam noodle we bought him. Another he has grown quite fond of is spicy Thai food! He loves Papaya salad and spicy noodles. So many good changes for him. He's a wonderful boy and I adore every minute with him. Did I mention that he wears a size 6 shoe? Yep!
He goes to the store much more now and we rarely have any headbanging episodes. He's doing very well as long as he has OT EVERYDAY. I only wish I did this years ago. Had he been going more (more than 2 or 3 days a week) I think he would have felt so much better. I can now see how much it has helped.
KC's Big Brother is 11 years old and is a sweetheart. He loves KC and they actually go to OT together. I asked KC's OT if Big Brother could sit in and watch and she said, "yes!" This is huge because we have learned that this is the best time for the two of them to actually play. KC's more focused and laughs and watches his brother bounce and swing. He really watches him and laughs hysterically when his brother bounces. 
All is well here in AZ. I am doing well myself. We even got a weenie dog! He's cute! I will write more and post more pictures soon! We love you all and welcome any new folks to read our blog and of course all of our friends who have been with us throughout the years, thank you and we love you guys!
Tina and Boys

We are doing well!

The boys and I are doing well. We have been watching movies at the theater and traveling quite a bit. We just returned from Huntington Beach where the weather was gorgeous and refreshing. KC has been going on long walks in the evenings every night in hope that he loses some weight. He's one big kid! He's my little, "eating machine." He likes the movies but as soon as it starts he has to keep his ears plugged with his fingers the entire movie. He does well. Big Brother is thrilled that we all go to the movies together now! It's good and to just be able to walk out the door and go to a movie is HUGE! I have noticed with age KC is tolerating more. I really believe his sensory system is maturing more and he knows how to handle the noises better. He loves the computer and is able to color a picture online all by himself. We have accepted that KC is nonverbal and we are all working hard with signs, He's doing well. What a big boy he has become! Im so proud of this little boy.
Big Brother is really growing up! He's acting so much older and his role now is protector and helper/caretaker. It's just the way Big Brother wants it. I've reminded him a thousand times that he needs to focus also on himself and that he's also a little boy but he wont have it. He knows his brother needs lots of help and Im certain he will always be there for him.
Big Brother is doing well in school and loves all sports now! He's quite the football player. Rough and Tough. All Boy!
Trees- I forgot to mention, KC is terribly frightened of trees. Any and all trees! If a tree branch comes near him or touches him he screams and acts as if hes about to vomit. Not sure what happened. He's just constantly looking for any tall grass or anything remotely similar to a tree. Its sad because he goes in to a panic and the tears flow. Im hoping it passes,
We hope you and your families are doing well! Time to do some catching up!

Surgery For K.C.

It's happened. K.C.'s had got an infection in it. Took him to the burn center in Phoenix, he had red streaks going up his arm. It was AWFUL. I'm at home and he's still in the hospital. I had to hurry home and shower, he's finally fell asleep and a child life lady promised she's stay at his bedside til I come back. She's been so wonderful. K.C. really seems to like her. She's brought him movies, connect 4 game and puzzle books. He's been crying lots since surgery, he had a graft done and has tro have one more next week. He kept ripping his I.V. out everytime I dozed off. I am sooooo sleepy. His Dad will be here tonight so when I go back to the hospital tonight I will be able to come home and sleep. I just need 4 hours and I'll be good for a few days at least. K.C. had a PICC line in. It goes under his arm and into his chest artery. They put it in in surgery. He can't get this one out. When they change his dressing they give him oxycontin 30 minutes before and they won't allow to to go in. They say they want his hospital room to feel as a safe zone where Mom is and the treatment room the not so fun room. It's been such a whirlwind. I'm sorry if it's a rambled post but I really wanted to keep everyone updated, you all are like a big family to us and we need as much support as we can get. It helps so much since we don't have family here in country anyways. The Boys are with College Boy right now. He's been our friend through alot. It's just temporary til their Dad is home. It's just after eleven p.m. and his Dad will be here around 4 a.m. Then I got a letter in the mail saying the boys Open Houses are next week for school and we must attend. I'm feeling overwhelmed and scared to death for K.C. Well thank you all for listening to me vent again.
I haven't talked to the respite person who was supposed to be watching K.C. they day he was burned. I have gone to the police and they are going to investigate and talk to her. God Knows If I "talk" to her I may throw hot boiling water on her hand. I'm just so mad she has been hiding out more or less and hasn't called once to check on K.C. if this was an accident as she says. The police will talk to her. I'm trying my best to let the anger go and concentrate on K.C. but everytime he cries and hurts I remember how we can't find her and get pi$$$$! I will keep you all updated. Have a good night everyone. Prayers all around.

VENTING!!

I am writing to vent today. I had mentioned in my previous post that I was going to take Adman and Big Brother to see Despicable Me and the theatre. We did go. Not half way into the movies K.C.'s respite worker calls and says to come home right away he had gotten burned on hot soup and she was heading to the emergency room with him. Panic stricken I must have drove 90 miles per hour to the ER where we hurried in to the front desk dragging A very pissed off Adam and Big Brother trying to help control Adam and calm him from the very fast change and an end to a movie he thought he was going to see through. Big Brother a little over 4 1/2 feet and Adam nearly 5 feet 9 inches, it was tough. We managed. Big Brother found a waiting room with a t.v. and VCR where Pinocchio was playing. I ran to check where K.C. was and the nurse directed me to the room he was in. Screaming he was, trying to bite his burned hand and two nurses trying to calm him. The Dr. came in and gave him a shot which worked wonders, sedated him. I couldn't believe my baby was hurt so bad when I thought I had the best person watching him. Where was the respite worker? NOT WITH K.C. The nurse said she had left the room to FIND ME as I was coming to the hosp. THE B**** never came back! She F****** left K.C. I'm sorry for the language I'm just so pissed. I was crying, felt so god awful bad for going to the movie and leaving K.C. This was a person I had trusted to keep him safe. The nurses say his respite worker was cooking Ramen soup for K.C. when he reached up and pulled the pot handle off the stove. Hot liquid spilled all over his little hand, the top layer just feel off. The hosp the transferred us to a burn unit downtown Phoenix. They scrubbed that burn hard and put on a 'new skin' and prescription ointment and painkillers. He's been crying and crying. Now I feel bad for just leaving Adam with Big Brother. I have no family here since my parents are both passed away now. I talked to Big Brother and he said, "Mom I wouldn't let Adam get away for my life." I cried and cried. I need someone to talk too. I'm making an appointment to see counselor. I'm overwhelmed. Need more help with the boys. Our last in home helper moved to Michigan. I miss her terribly. She's finishing up her degree there. Ihave to find help. Good help. But first I am going to do everything in my power to see that the respite worker who watched K.C. is in serious s*** and should not be around another Autistic child again. How do I even know that is what happened? K.C. can't tell me. Prayers people we need prayers.

Good 4th of July

Our kiddos had a great 4Th. KC tolerated the sound fairly well. We parked far away to minimize the noise. Visited town square for a bit then headed home. He spun in circles most of the time but no crying. I'm not too sure if he was overstimulated or? Tonight I am taking Big Brother Ad Man and a friend to see Despicable Me. How I wish K.C. could tolerate it. I feel bad for leaving him. We go real late, usually after 10 p.m. when he's asleep and have his respite care giver watch over him as he sleeps. He wakes alot and we now have locks on EVERYTHING. This months tally: K.C. destroyed the buttons off my cellphone, picked them off, tore the knobs off the washer, actually picked and picked at our couch til he pulled the insulation out and finally he broke the hose from the washer to the wall outlet and watched water shoot out of the wall. It was horrific. What a flood. Took the day to fix. I did it myself though! Big Brother and I are quite the team of repair people. Now there are locks everywhere. Told Big Brother he just has to get used to it and Ad Man HATES THE LOCKS. Change is very, very hard. I still don't understand why K.C. destroys things that he seems to love dearly. Even his own stuff. Labels on bottles, cans etc he's compelled to pick. His lips too. Even teeth. His lips are always rough. I try to sneak chap stick on them when he sleeps but that boy wakes at the slightest touch. We found a movie he adores. Coraline! He loves it so much. I highly recommend it! If K.C. loves it it must be good! Happy Day All!

Happy Birthday KC

Happy Birthday to you KC! You are 9 years old and 4 feet 6 inches tall, 101 pounds! You are changing quickly I have noticed. The hair on your arms and legs is getting longer and darker and much to your big brothers (oh mom that's not fair I'm older and I want arm pit hair!) attitude you are growing up faster than your big brother! You both are the same height now. Big Brother is worried about that. He wants to be very tall but his Daddy is only 5 feet 5 inches and Biological Mom is 5 feet 3 inches. KC may be taller because of my side of the family.

You can do many things for yourself now. You can pull your shoes on by yourself and socks too but always put them on the wrong feet, same with clothes. If they are inside out backwards etc. you don't notice at all and will wear them like that if I let you. You carry your dishes to the sink sometimes without me asking you too. Sometimes you throw your spoons and plates in the trash. It's hard to know what your thinking. You know many signs now. Sign language and hand pulling are your primary ways to communicate. Words never came to you and I am sad about it. Of the couple words I heard you say once they never came again. Never. I know they are in your head I can see you trying to think things through. We won't give up! Speech therapy will always be in your future cause I know it's possible cause I have heard it!

We had an extremely frightening day a month ago. I've not mentioned it to anyone. I'm still very unsure as to what I should do. I'm scared to mention it to your therapists. You were watching a Disney video on the computer and I was in the kitchen. I heard you scream a little and I new that was the "I'm getting angry" scream. I came into the living room and checked out your area and you too. I asked you, "what's wrong?" You looked frantic. I thought if I let you alone it would pass. Big mistake. You came into the kitchen and screamed super loud in my face and pulled your hair out. I have never seen you this mad in my life ever. To look at me in the eye without breaking eye contact for more than 2 seconds is just something you do not do. Even though I had REAL eye contact and I could totally see the boy without Autism in you at that moment, it vanished. You went straight to the kitchen sink and sat in the living room screaming with a butter knife in your hand. I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to think you want to hurt me. I put the butter knives away for good. Since them you have been o.k.

I did notice a couple wks after you got a fever but no other symptoms like coughing or runny nose. What I did notice this time was that when ou were sick you were more with it. You seemed to have better eye contact and strangely more calmer. Two very strange episodes. If anyone has any ideas please pass them on for KC's sake?

You let me hug you as much as I want these days and I am happy as ever for that! I can even say, "hug" and you walk backwards into me and let me hug you. No straight forward hugs though only backwards, you are a funny guy.

I was watching the "On Demand" feature on our cable TV service and as I browsed through the list you ran straight to the TV and touched "Shrek." I turned it on straight away and praised you endlessly. Your speech therapist made a list of Disney movies mixed up with regular words and you could pick out 25 Disney movies from that list! I'm thinking you can read I really believe you can no matter what anyone says. I was amazed! Your speech teacher seemed to be not so impressed and though it to be another Autistic Trait. Whatever. You read and I am thrilled. If you can point at a group of words mixed in with regular words and pick your movies by touch that's still reading! It gives me hope!

Ad-man is doing great! I keep him so busy he's hardly home but the thing is you love your routine and stick to it. KC doesn't like to leave the house but you do lately. You pace by the door. We had to beef up our security system because you are tall and able to reach things with ease. You still paint and paint and paint! You are very talented. We still have to help dress you but when you pick up that paint brush you are free! I couldn't even begin to paint like you do. Too bad Mom didn't get to see it.

I will close for now, need to get KC to put his clothes back on. Anytime he sees me get busy he strips and runs around naked. Big Brother said, "oh God mom what if he does that when he's a man?" He's right, I have to keep this kids clothes on him at all times. Hope you all are well and hope I didn't ramble too much! To all our friends much love to you and your families.

It's been awhile....

Hello Friends,
It's been awhile since I last blogged. We have been doing well and the boys are growing like weeds! We traveled twice, the first time was to be with family in Israel and the second trip was to just get away for a couple weeks. KC does well on trips only if his doctor gives me a sedative to give to him just before. Long trips are very tough on him so God Bless his doctor for making it possible. Adam my little brother is used to flying pretty much. My Parents used to go quite a bit and as long as he has something to watch he's good (and that he gets a window seat as he looks and looks endlessly.) Big Brother is a chatterbox and his questions come at me left and right, he's changed quite a bit just over the year and has become someone who can outwit his Mom and pull the wool over any one's eyes. My dear friend College Boy has taken to calling him, "Scamp." Big Brother has a huge heart and listens to him Mama well. I know one thing for sure and certain, no one will take advantage of him in life or his brothers as long as he has any say in the matter.
K.C. has been eating everything he can put or fit in his mouth lately. Pennies, buttons on his clothes, even steel buttons he will try to chew off. I've caught him licking the walls and totally rushed with a wet wash cloth to wipe his tongue off. He's been healthy so far which surprises me because of how much he;s been putting in his mouth. We went through the entire house looking for anything he may eat or could choke on. This all happening within a two month period. It's getting terrible. Icky germs. I did get all the boys swine flu shots and seasonal flu shots. Lysol is a must now more than ever.
KC has also learned to put his own underwear and shorts on. He's been totally dry and will wear underwear all day long! As for going number 2, no way. He will hold it, be in pain rather than sit on the toilet. He's terrified of siting on the toilet. He literally shakes and screams. I feel so bad for him to see him so scared and wind up putting a diaper on him just for going poop. I'm not sure how to handle it just yet and I don't want to push him and ruin everything he's accomplished so we are taking it slow. I'm thinking when he's ready we will know.
Still not talking. Not a word. Not even close. Not to many sounds come from him, when they do they are garbled raspberries. I've come to accept that he may be nonverbal child forever. He does communicate with some signs and pictures. Pictures mostly. He knows his pictures are his way of communication and when he hands me one or I lay out choices of foods, like three choices he will scan them and hand me one. He's learned, "just one." We have our picture book everywhere we go. Even McDonald's. I've been through that drive-thru so much and as we approached in the past I'd always say, "do you want Nuggets or Hamburger?" I'd get total silence. Then came the picture book as I call it. His teacher and I printed up some McDonald's foods and he can surely pick one! I feel so much happiness knowing KC actually got what he wanted without a doubt! The happiness may seems so small to outsiders of the Autistic world but to you Mom's and Dad's and Brother's and Sisters know how good it feels and how their siblings clap and get excited for our kids with Autism.
Another change I have noted on KC but NOT big Brother. KC is almost 9 and Big Brother will be 10. KC has arm pit hair already! His legs have dark hair too! I was horrified. He's so young. Anyone else notice this on their kids? Big Brother noticed when they were taking a bath. He said, "Mom I'm older than him why is he turning into a man already?" O.k. that statement made me chuckle but still I had to say, "That's just the way God made him." Then he said, "Like his Autism too?" I agreed. I mean I wonder too but this was a good enough explanation for Big Brother and he didn't press but did look at me and as I said before he's a chatterbox, "Him KC has kinda bad luck Mommy." I didn't want to keep it going and for once he didn't press on. Maybe it was the look I gave.
Adam hasn't pinched in a month and a half! He used to pinch like crazy. We think we got that beat! He has chewy tube and his hands are always on it. It's a foot long as it was the ONLY one he'd take. He's happy with it and that's all that matters. We are happy when he's happy. He's painting alot, beautifully I might add. He has a gift from God when it comes to painting. I buy him the best paints money can buy, his room as you walk in is gorgeous. We are starting this weekend to have his walls painted white and nice and clean and then have him prepped (as it may take awhile from hs paint instructor (who has been wonderful working with Autistic kids and says that Adam has Savant skills in painting!) Do you know how proud I am? I knew this before he even told me. I've watched him.
Anyways back to his room. We are having his room painted white and we are going to try to get the idea across to him that his room walls are his canvas. I'm not sure how long it will take but I know he can do it with his teacher at his side. I want Adam to make his room come to life with his artwork all over his walls. My Parents would have been so proud and honestly I think I can imagine my Dad's mouth hanging open in amazement. My Parents sheltered Adam somewhat and he was limited in what he could do. I see no limit in his ability to do art.
I have been doing well. Healing each day mentally. Some days are way better than others but I have the boys to keep my mind from wandering to far. They are truly a blessing. Had my boys not been with me, I would have totally lost it.
Well my friends, thank you for stopping by and we hope you little guys and girls are well and that you are all doing well, we always pray for that.
I will blog more, especially about Ad Mans room!

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving friends :)

We are taking each day slowly. We left the country to be with family after my dad passed. My Grandmother flew with us and helped with the boys. The boys had a tough time adjusting but later loved running and playing outside. They played outside alot and to be honest I think the fact that there weren't all the electronic devices that kept them busy at home was good for them. Just good old fashioned playing.

KC is getting taller and is 1/2 shorter than Big Brother. He's catching up to his Big Brother! Adam is STILL getting taller, I am thinking this young man will be 6 feet soon. KC is much more tolerant these days, easy going mostly. He's still non verbal but now knows about 13 signs! Big Brother didn't like the trip as much and wanted to hurry home to see his friends. When we arrived at the airport to go home he was happy. He missed home. I missed it too but I needed to be with family or I would have lost it.

This Thanksgiving we all give thanks to our loved ones. Our families. The most important people in our lives.

We wish all of you a great Turkey Day! We will be blogging more soon :)

Very Sad Week Pray For Us

My Dad has been struggling with the flu (flu like symptoms) over a two month period. Over the two months he got Pneumonia and has had Asthma ever since I can remember. I remember him always carrying an inhaler. He's also been depressed since Mom passed away in April. He passed away last week very quietly in his sleep. The folks at the care home called me at 5 a.m. and asked me to come to the centre. I knew it was going to happen. I had the feeling. I called Rabbi Levy and he did show up an hour later. Called relatives, said they would leave as soon as possible. My Dad's brother lives in Israel along with his wife and children. If it wasn't for Rabbi Levy and his kindness I couldn't have planned alone. I have been so scatterbrained not to mention this week Rosh Hashanah. It's given me strength that I need and my children need. The Shiva was so hard. I didn't think I could do it. I just kept thinking of Mom and now Dad and how lonely he's been without her. They did everything together. I have watched his health go down the tubes since Mom passed away. He just lost any love for life. It weakened him. Broke my heart. Still breaking. We feel very alone now. I only have my grandma who is very old. Now I keep thinking she will be leaving us soon.

Dad's brother asked that the boys and I come to stay with his family in Israel for a couple weeks. I'm not sure. Scatterbrained I am. Sorry this post is so scattered. Maybe getting away would be good for me but the boys routines would be so interrupted I think it would be extremely tough. Our helper who is also Jewish says she would come along to help with Adam and KC. I'm thinking yes we should try...still don't know. For sure nothing is certain.

The Hand Watcher

This is what Big Brother has been calling me lately. Let me explain.

KC will not keep his hands out of his pants period. From front to back, me catching him, washing his hands, stopping him (trying to not make a big deal out of it or he'll do it more) even does it in the store or wherever he wants. Then I have AdMan Adam, "my pincher." Watching both boys hands has become quite tough. Adam is easier to stop but KC is alot harder and more obvious. Anybody have any ideas? Clothing etc? It seems ever since we have been trying to get him out of his diapers so he's totally using the toilet and Big Boy underwear he won't stop with the hands.

On an awesome note, his teacher reports that on Friday he used the toilet 4 times, no diapers! We are so close to being out of the diapers during the day, I mean totally not using them during the day! I'm so proud of him!

KC and The Boys - PEZ Candy

Hi Bloggers,

It's been awhile since I've blogged, been so darn busy with back to school stuff and I had surgery. My Gallbladder was removed, I had a stone in my bile duct and it nearly killed me (pain wise anyway.) I am still recovering and had my staples removed last week. It was two surgeries, one was down my throat to remove the stone in the duct and the other was abdominal. I have been one slow moving Mama and thank God that I had Big Brother as my HUGE helper. While I was recovering I really thought the change would upset Adam and KC tremendously. Guess what? Somehow they sensed I wasn't feeling well and never had a melt down or pinching from Adam. I had only one day to prepare for the surgery so Tacey our helper and I prepped the boys with PECS. It worked wonders! When I got home I let the boys see my staples and all of them did look. I think that also made a difference. Big Brother was disappointed that I couldn't bring the stones home. They were sent to the lab :( Yuck!

All my boys are back in school and doing well. KC had one hair pulling incident at therapy and ripped a total bald spot at the top of his head so we had to shave it yet again. Just when we thought we had the hair pulling beat :(

Ad Man Adam is now shaving with help. I can't believe it. I mean gosh he's not my little brother no more, he's my more grown up little brother. My Mom would be so proud at that strides he is making. (Forgot to mention) after surgery I couldn't get up from a sitting position without help. Adam was in the living room and I extended my hand to him and said, "help me Adam, I can't get up I'm hurt." I swear to you I could not believe what happened next. He stood their looking off as if not to hear me, I started to put my hand down when he held his hand out for me to grab! People can you believe it? He not only extended his hand he pulled as I pulled his arm he pulled back! Yes I cried like a baby. Gosh I love that kiddo!


I used to collect PEZ dispensers as a kid and loved the candy that came with the dispenser as well :)

On a recent visit to KC's Developmental Ped. the nurse working their suggested PEZ candy as a treat (for an ABA incentive).

What's even better they are Gluten and Allergen Free hooray!

The only not so good thing about the dispensers he isn't coordinated enough to load it. Still he loves them even though Mom has to help.

We have been using the candies in his ABA program and he's doing great, (to him they are heaven and worth working for!)

So far he's collected 6 dispensers.

The part I love best is that it's something I loved collecting as a kid and to see my son 'collecting' them too is cool. Maybe I'm not so old school after all?


Big Brother has been playing football and loves it! He's changing so much. He used to be very serious and into Science stuff, but now he's into football. I have also noticed a huge change in how he wants his peers to see him. I am used to holding Adam and KC's hand wherever we go. Me being in the middle in case Adam has a pinching fit. On an outing I had just K.C. and Big Brother as Adam was in his after school Habilitation program. I tried holding Big Brother's hand and he pulled away. I asked him, "what's wrong?" He said, "Mom I'm not a baby anymore and not Autistic." I let him know straight away that I hold his hand cause I love him. Still I see him pulling away especially in front of his football buds. Makes me cry. I am glad that K.C. and Adam will let me hug them, hold their hands and never pull away. Who says Autistic kids can't show affection? I would say they are more affectionate than Big Brother right now! Both boys are non verbal but their body language says it all. My husband doesn't like that I treat K.C. and Adam "like Toddlers." I tell him, "there's nothing wrong with loving your kids at any age and any time."
That includes hugs and kisses from me. Adam went through a very hard transition when Mom died. He needed the extra attention and it hasn't been that long. Adam remembers. He has his favorite photo of Mom in his backpack and he never takes it out or tears it up. I'm very blessed to have two Autistic boys and one non Autistic kiddo.

Hope you are all well and your kiddos are doing super!

Happy Birthday To KC

Happy Birthday to my KC. He is 8 years old.( For Safety Concerns I never post the exact birth date) We had his birthday over the weekend and a beautiful Disney Cars cake. KC has never ate cake and even though we tried to get him to have at least one piece of his birthday cake he would not try. We sang happy birthday to him and things got a little noisy and I could see that he was tuning us out so we kept the party short.
We got alot of good eye contact and smiles at the party. He got a huge box of wooden blocks, books, play dough and Big Brother bought him a mood ring. I asked him, "why do you want him to wear the ring?" And he said, "gosh Mom it's simple, when he wears the ring we will know what kind of mood he's in and we won't have to guess." I thought it was cute. Strangely enough when we put the ring on his finger it showed mixed emotions. Don't know if they really work but it was interesting.
KC has been doing very well. We haven't had a hair pulling or head banging incident in so long! I am keeping my fingers crossed. He has been seizure free and we are so thankful to God for this. KC is signing more, to this day he can sign, thank you, more, finished, yellow, blue, please and dog. I am working very hard to get him to sin, "Mama." I know he will learn it and when he does sign "Mama" you will hear me crying like a baby. Just typing it and imagining it makes me tear up.
Lately KC has been walking straight up to me, looking at me and opening his mouth real wide. I know he's trying to tell me something but don't know what it is. His teeth look okay and I haven't seen any sores in his mouth. It has been a daily thing and when I can't figure out what he wants he gets really frustrated. Maybe I will figure it out soon.
Big Brother is swimming alot and still riding the darn skateboard. It scares me when he rides it but he loves it. Adam got a new bike! We got a three wheeler adult Trike from Trikezilla and it's wonderful! Adam has never been able to ride a bike and I thought maybe he could learn to ride an adult trike. Well he's learning! He is getting there. He's having some trouble pushing and alternating feet. One always slides off and hits the ground. I am going to try to find something to tie around his shoe so that it will stay on the pedal. I don't know if there is such a thing and if there isn't I'll try to come up with something.
We hope you and your families are well and happy. Thank you for stopping by!
Tina and Boys

KC at 2 years old

I found some video of K.C. and Big Brother when they were two and three years old. The video is quite old and grainy but thought I would post it anyways. Looking back (please watch entire video) I can see how I was in denial about K.C. having Autism. It was very clear then that he had no eye contact and loved flapping and spinning himself in circles. Still I looked the other way knowing that my brother has Autism and it was possible for my own child to have it as well. Those were tough days. Getting help and early intervention made a huge difference, had I kept looking the other way who knows what K.C. would have been like today.
Today K.C. is a very happy Big Boy who is nearly 8 years old. We love him dearly and he puts a smile on our faces everyday. Did I mention he knows how to give kisses now? You can imagine I am in heaven and request at least 20 kisses a day! He is amazing.

Summertime is here

It's summertime! We have been swimming just about everyday, it's been very warm here, 104 degrees and will be climbing. Big Brothers cast is off and things are easier now. He can get in and out of the van without dragging the crutches with him.
K.C. likes staying indoors. I literally have to pry his little butt out of the seat to get him to go outside for some sunlight. He loves staying indoors and Adam does too.
We went to a horse ranch yesterday with the boys, they got to brush and feed and ride the horses. K.C. wouldn't ride but tried to brush the horse. Ad Man Adam did ride! He was so tense when he got up on the horse, his shoulders were so stiff. A young guy lead the horse around slowly and eventually I could see Adam's shoulders begin to drop. He looked so relaxed compared to how he usually walks and stands, looks like he's always about to explode or fall forward. The rest of the day for Adam was really good. We are taking the boys back on Sat. If I could get K.C. up on the horse it would be awesome. It helps Adam so much I know I will be taking him as much as I can. I did forget my camera, it sat on the kitchen table :(
School is out next week for the boys! That means I am going to be one busy Mama. Adam will be going to Summer camp for a week and Big Brother will be going to San Fran to stay 2 weeks with his Daddy. It's just going to be K.C. and I. I am planning activities for us to do while the boys are away. I can't wait to spend the extra time with K.C. but will miss Adam and Big Brother very much. Adam has went to camp every year and I remember my Mom being so excited for Adam and planning his camp trip. We wouldn't miss it for the world.
I am doing o.k. feeling better now that things are adjusting a bit more. We have a routine we follow religiously and as long as there are no big changes things have been going smoothly. K.C. is tolerating change better. Maybe it's his age? I remember the developmental Pediatrician saying, "it gets easier with age." I guess he was right.
Bought the movie Twilight, hope it's good. I am going to watch it tonight. We hope you are all well and thank you for stopping by.

K.C. is wearing C.B.'s Tshirt.

Big Brother broke his leg

(Yes, that is a frozen food dinner he's eating, thank God for frozen food every now and then, especially on hectic days.)

Yep, I knew all those trips to the skate park would come back and bite us one day...three days ago to be exact. I take Big Brother to the skate park once a week, sometimes twice for his, "fun day." He's a skateboard junkie.

Things didn't go too well for him that day at the park. Somehow as he was going up a very high ramp, he didn't gain enough momentum to make it up and I watched in horror yes horror and thought to myself, "oh God this is going to hurt." As he tried to reach the top he knew he wasn't going to make a quickly turned the skateboard to head back down but turned to quickly and fell all the way down onto his head with his leg slamming down behind him. I was already down into the skate area running to him as kids started gathering asking him if he was o.k. He wasn't getting up so I knew it was bad. We tried to pull him to a standing position but he couldn't put any weight on it. I piggy backed him to the van, went home, picked up his insurance card and money for the co pay (gosh co pays suck) noticed K.C. and AdMan were doing fine with our helper friend and we left.

To make a long story a bit shorter, he broke one bone in his foot. We went to the Ortho doctor this morning and got a permanent cast. Why the ER gave us a weird cast I have no idea. I am lad that we went to the Ortho cause he knew what he was doing. So Big Brother will not be skating for a month.

At home life has been very difficult and busy. Our helper friend is staying full time to help me with all the boys. It's weird saying that cause poor Big Brother hardly ever needs help bless his heart. I feel so bad for him. He loves playing outside so much. K.C. and I did pull him around in the wagon yesterday. He did get some fresh air. K.C. and Adam have been in a sort of cranky moods cause of the change. K.C. spent nearly half the day trying to tear his cast off and I spent most of that day trying to stop him and distract him. He got so mad his nose was running his hair was full of sweat and he was so confused and seemed terrified. He did finally give up. Big Brother gives his cruthces to K.C. when K.C. approaches him. K.C. likes the crutches thank goodness.

Well I am off to bed, it's midnight here. Long day, need rest. Nighty.

Please and Time To Swim!

I can't believe it's 90 degrees here. Too soon for me. Big Brother asked if we could go swimming yesterday and I agreed. He really didn't swim all that much but he did lay in the sun alot. K.C. sat at a table eating his snack he brought with him. He was such a good boy at the pool.

Last night as I was up with K.C. watching him play because he refused to lay down, I heard something I couldn't believe. K.C. got tired eventually and headed for the couch. When he's falling asleep he's always chattering and making noises. He was doing the same last night and I was smiling through the whole thing cause his little noises can be funny. Then after a few more noises I heard a "pwease." Yes, I really heard it I DID! I wasn't asleep or falling asleep. He said, "pwease" with a w sound. His eyes were shut and he was half asleep. My jaw dropped opened. I clapped quietly by myself and sat down to listen some more. The rest of his noises were just noises, but I heard him say, "pwease." I wish my Mom were here for me to call and tell her. As I drove the boys to school Adam rode in the front seat with me. Big Brother rode with K.C. I let them all know what I heard cause I had to share it with someone! I told K.C. he said it when he was half awake and half asleep. I bet he was having a dream about home or school and was needing something and said "pwease" in his head but it actually came out in his half awake half asleep state. I will be listening more every night. Wow is all I can say!
There is a little typical boy inside there. He thinks just like we do but can't get it out. I totally feel it.
I had to share this and document it in his baby book. Well it's turned into a journal after the baby book stopped at 5 years old. I once thought I would never be able to wrote down his first word ever. Now so far we have heard, "mama, up and pwease." The weird thing is we have only heard the 1 time and never again. Hopefully we will hear them more!

Mr. Sleepy Head. His life has been very busy these days, it's no wonder he conks out so quickly.

K.C. has to have everything perfect. When we go somewhere he has to bring 3 or 4 favorite objects from home with him. When we are in the car he puts his things down just right and God forbid they get touched or moved, he will lose it. I just wonder why he insists on taking these things with him if they are a great source of frustration. He won't leave the house without his, car, toy cell phone, food item and drink with a straw. I guess it's o.k?

Yesterday Big Brother was outside riding his bike with the neighborhood kids. I can see them from the window trying to jump a mini ramp a kid brought. There were roughly 16 kids out there. The youngest looked 4 and the oldest 14 or 13. I went out to check on Big Brother (also to let the other kids know I'm watching and they had better not be mean to B.B.) K.C. walked with me. Some of the kids asked B.B., "who's that boy with your mom?" "Can he play?" B.B didn't even answer, he just rode off. He gave me a quick look and left. This is the very first time I could see in Big Brother's face that he was ashamed. I knew it right away. I took K.C. inside quickly. I don't know why but I was angry and hurt at B.B. I let him play a little longer and then called him inside. He was quiet, he knew I was disappointed. At dinnertime I figured we'd make tacos so that he could help. He always grates the cheese and washes the vegetables. We started talking. I asked him if he felt embarrassed by K.C. He said, "yes." Then said, "only because if K.C. makes a weird noise and they know he's Autistic they will make fun of me every chance they get." These are the only children in the neighborhood for him to socialize with. He likes these kids so I am kinda at a, "not sure what to do moment." I have noticed that Big Brother is changing a lot. He wants to be even more independent and gets embarrassed when I hold his hand or hug him in public. I guess he's getting older. I can say that I am surely thankful K.C. lets me hug and love on him all I want. He doesn't worry about being embarrassed. Two boys, completely different. I am starting to wonder if I should make friends with Autism families and find an NT sibling of an Autistic child that Big Brother can connect with. I just don't want it to be about K.C. and Autism all the time. It's not fair to B.B. I guess I have alot of thinking to do. One thing is certain. I am not going to keep K.C. inside just because of some kids who are jerks. He has a right to play just as they do. If I hear them make fun of K.C. I will come unglued. I know in my heart that K.C. understands everything that is being said around him. He just can't show it.

K.C. has been going to habilitation everyday. He's doing well. He likes the art center the most and I swear he almost drew eyes and a smile! I could see it! There are also group activities, he hates group time but has his hab person sit through it with him. Hopefully he will learn to like it.

Ad man Adam is great. I bought him an IPOD and he loves it! He's always wearing it and if you were to glance at him he just looks like a teen guy with an IPOD. You know, just one of the guys. I'm really happy that he likes it. He picked pink. What is with the color pink? I took K.C. to get new shoes and put three pairs in front of him and he picked DC soes that were pink. I tried to take the pink ones away and he had a fit. We got the pink ones because he likes them. Pink can be for guys too can't it?

I am doing better. Not as tired anymore now that the boys are going to Habilitation. I can get tons of things done while they are away and can even sleep! I was scared at first to leave them, the trust factor is huge with me. Everyone around me kept telling me to try. I finally did and I have a good feeling when I do drop them off and pick them up. They are happy there and have had better coping skills that I can notice already. I should have done this along time ago.

We hope you all are o.k. and we are sending a very big hug to Nik and his Mama. Feel better soon Nik!

Thank God for Habilitation and Respite

K.C.'s Support coordinator and Adam my little brothers Support Coordinator came by for their 2 month visit. They come every two months to check up on the boys. K.C.'s Support Coordinator said that I looked, "very tired" and encouraged me to use my Habilitation and Respite hours for the boys. I promised her I would. I have had these hours all along and really haven't utilized them as much as I should have.

So yesterday and today the boys Daddy and I made our list of questions to bring along as we checked places out. I would be asking most of the questions (their Dad feels better if I do the talking cause his English is broken badly) and their Dad would be checking to see if the place looked escape proof and to see if there was anything out in the open that shouldn't be, like chemicals cleaners etc.

We visited 4 centers in all. We both agreed that the last place we checked which was this morning was best for Adam and K.C. It had many educational centers going on, sensory room and best of all both boys would be within arms reach of their habilitator at all times. There was an area for bigger kids, in fact there was even a program for adults. The adults come in the morning and leave before 2 p.m. At that point there is a huge sign that says, "No Adults Beyond This Point After 2 p.m." So K.C. and Adam will be going straight to the center after school and I will be picking them up at 6 p.m. The center wants them to come everyday but I think it's too much, after all I have to see my boys still! So 3 days a week they will go and on Saturday from 10am to 3p.m. K.C.'s Dad was convinced the place was escape proof for the boys because we couldn't even get out the door to leave, those child locks are tricky. I still worry though, most of you remember what had happened not that long ago that K.C. did escape from home. It was horrible and I have become extremely careful each day.

Big Brother and I are going to be spending time at some of the places he wants to go but can't go when K.C. and Adam are home because it's too noisy for them. Even when I do go somewhere with Big Brother alone, he kinda shuffles around and looks sad like he's missing something. I have to try to let him know it's o.k. if we go sometimes without the boys. I have told him that even if we did take them they wouldn't have a good time because of the noise (we have tried several times)and the boys would appreciate it we didn't bring them to such noisy places. Big Brother is not so convinced.

UPDATE: I started this post on Saturday and it's now Sunday afternoon. We have just came back from the skateboard park with Big Brother ( it's an older video but you get the idea. while we were there I noticed I was the ONLY parent supervising my child. I watched Big Brother skateboard and noticed an older guy probably about 20 to 25 years old walked in to the skate area. He had no skateboard or bike. Then I noticed a bunch of little kids and 1 teenager go to the guy. I was sitting across from them. Me being the nosy Mom like I am listened to what they were saying. Most of it was in Spanish as they were all Hispanic. (I took 3 years of Spanish I high school.) This guy was saying, "I have some candy that will make you feel like your in heaven." Then I watched him pull this bag of drugs right out of his duffel bag in front of EVERYONE. He then asked a kid about 11 years old, "wanna roll a joint." The kid said, "yeah." They were smoking POT! I could not believe this was happening. Big Brother rode over to me and said, "Mom that cigarette smells funny, is it a different kind?" I picked up my cell phone and dialed 911 and spoke to the operator very quietly. I explained what was going on and she sent an officer our way. I stayed on the phone with her keeping an eye on the children and the guy. When the guy saw the cops come, he reached into his pants and threw the bag of drugs into the duffel bag and walked away. The officer approached him and asked him straight away where the bags were. The guy looking like he's all innocent says, "you can even search me." Another cop came and walked toward us. I then told him his bag was at the foot of the stairs. They retrieved the bag and put the cuffs on the guy (*who was wanted) and took the kids to their parents house.

We will not be going back there ever again. We will drive a little further to a different skate park that is in a better safer area. The world is so dangerous, kids have to be supervised nearly every second.

Lightrail and the mean old lady

Each weekend K.C., Adam and Big Brother have been riding the light rail all the way into Phoenix. K.C. loves the light rail so much, Adam as well. Big Brother likes it too but just not as much as K.C. and Adam. We take the light rail into Phoenix, then get off and eat at Taco Bell. I have been taking the three boys alone on these trips without help. It's something we want to do as a family. I feel confident that there will be no troubles because they love rididng so much. So far so good. Adam loves putting the money into the ticket machine and getting our passes. I really enjoy going too, Big Brother and I talk alot on these trips. It takes about 1 hr and 20 minutes to get into Phoenix. That is a long trip for the kids, I am so proud of them.

K.C. has been taking a black comb with him everywhere, he's learning to brush his hair. He chews on the comb sometimes and knows he shouldn't so lately he just puts the comb to his lips. I really think he likes that his hair has grown out, I won't be cutting it again unless he starts pulling it out again. Let's pray he doesn't pull it.
Yesterday was not a good day for us. I took K.C. grocery shopping with me, his Dad is in town from San Fran. He took K.C. and I for Dim Sum with some friends of his. We all sat around a very big table and people were talking, laughing, it was noisy but K.C. did really well. The last 15 minutes at the restaurant he had had enough. He was reading to leave and we did.
After we ate, we headed toward the grocery store. As we went into the store K.C. looked very nervous, his little smile looked frantic and I told his Dad that we should do the shopping later because I didn't think K.C. would make it through the whole shopping trip. He agreed so we were going to leave but K.C. wouldn't budge. After he heard that we were going home that was it. He cried and screamed at the top of his lungs, people were staring, I asked his Dad to stop talking to K.C. because he was making it worse. His Dad is hardly ever here, he doesn't know how to handle K.C. When K.C. is angry words make it worse. He doesn't want to hear anything. He finally got up but wouldn't leave the store. He was walking again, but crying, his cry this time was different, he totally knew he was disappointed in himself for not being able to make it through the store. It was a heart wrenching cry. Tears everywhere, I said to K.C. I know he wants to stay and make it through the store, we were going to try. He did cry on and off but through the store I was instructing him to put things into the cart. He knows what food he likes and will pick it up and put it into the cart all by himself! As we turned the corner in the store, K.C. smacked himself in the face hard with both hands, each side of his face. His Dad was shocked. Again his Dad hurried over to him and held his hands, he was even looking around the store to see if we had drawn a crowd! During the whole trip I have to say that hurt me the most, to know his Dad was more concerned about who was watching than K.C. K.C.'s hitting and crying didn't bother me and neither did the people. I knew if we left him alone he would stop. I didn't notice that there was this old lady was staring at us for the longest time. His Dad kept telling me to look at her cause she was staring but I was concentrating on K.C., wondering what had set him off. I didn't look at her until she approached us and said, "I can't believe you are letting him behave that way." That was it. I knew I was telling this woman off. Her voice sounded mean, not caring like my own grandma would sounds. I have always been told to respect elderly people but this lady wasn't giving us any respect so I said to her, "you really need to mind your own business." I thought that would be enough to send her walking but it wasn't. She then said, "it was the most awful parenting she had ever seen." I was pissed. I told her, again, to mind her own business and to leave us alone. K.C.'s Dad looked angry at me! Me of all people! For some reason he felt he owed this lady an explanation, he said to her, "my son is Autistic." That lady walked away muttering under her breath, "excuses, excuses."
We did manage to make it through the trip. K.C. finally calmed down just enough to make it through.
When we loaded the groceries into the van and got K.C. seat belted in (he can do it himself now!) his Dad didn't move. He had his hands on his head and was sweating. He said he was a nervous wreck. We switched seats so that I could drive. I had took and box of banana pop sickles out of the bag before I put them into the van. I handed his Dad the popsickle and asked him to open it for K.C. He stared at me like I was nuts. I said, "well are you going to open it?" Just then we heard a thump noise and looked back, it was K.C. chewing at the interior of the van just near the side of him. There are obvious tear marks in the van from K.C. His Dad said, "oh my God he's destroying the van!" I then said, "NOW ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN THE POPSICLE!" He opened it quickly and K.C. stopped what he was doing. He was happy. Many of you may be thinking, does she always give him Popsicles in the car? The answer is no way. He does chew the side interior but I figure it's not going to hurt him, just the van. He knows the only time he gets Popsicles is on a trip to the store. He doesn't shop with me that much but when he does I always buy him Popsicles. He's not spoiled in my book. I think of it as more of an understanding that K.C. and I have. A silent understanding. It's unbelievable the communication we have without him being able to say a thing. His Dad kind of stared at me on the way home. He kept glancing at K.C. in his mirror. It was quiet. I was at peace and so was K.C. This was just a small incident. The only words that were said was from his Daddy. He kept saying, my son is handicapped, he will always be with us, no college, no job, no marry, no future. He also said he thinks God is punishing him for something he has done. I did speak up and asked him to stop saying negative crap because K.C. could hear every word he was saying. He doesn't understand anything his Dad kept saying. I know he understands and I asked him again to stop and he did. If K.C. wants to go to college he will go with help. If he wants to marry he can. If wants to have a job he will. He has a future. I will admit there was a time I felt the same way his Dad does but have learned that K.C. IS DOING GREAT FOR K.C. Things don't always have to be the same way. He's doing well for K.C. and I love him dearly.
Time for me to go have a popsickle!

Update: Surgery for K.C.

Just a quick update on K.C. and his surgery. I'll make this as short as possible :)
K.C. came out of Anesthesia fighting, crying and pulling his hair out. The nurses called me back to recovery as soon as he woke up because he was so upset. When I walked back to recovery I saw 4 nurses surrounding him. Each nurse had a foot and a arm. K.C. had ripped the i.v. out and they were trying their best to put the i.v. back in his foot this this time. It broke my heart to see him so upset. The nurses decided to move this to a recovery room that had a sliding door to it. We kept the door shut to not disturb the other patients (children) who were in recovery. Everything that we tried to calm K.C. with didn't work. The nurse left saying she was going to call the doctor and when she came back she had a needle with meds in it. I asked her what it was and she said Morphine. She gave him the shot and he fell asleep almost immediately. I could hear the blood in his throat for him screaming so much. His little nose was bloody too. She suctioned both out after she gave the shot. I stayed with him and the nurse took a seat and monitored him. They had this thing on his finger that monitors how much oxygen your body is getting and K.C.'s kept dropping down into the 70's. The Morphine had a bad affect on him. The nurse got an oxygen mask and put it to his nose and turned the oxygen on. He wore it for about an hour and slowly his oxygen levels returned. Thank God, I was so scared I thought I was going to totally lose it.
After recovery the nurses wheeled him down to a room, a private room to rest. I can honestly tell all the Mom's and Dad's out there it is the toughest thing I have ever had to do. Keeping a child, any child for that matter in a hospital room for three days is HARD. Ont he second day he was better but sore. I could tell cause he sounded so raspy and kept trying to stick his fingers down his throat and up his nose. I brought all his movies, markers, pens ETC. I knew we were in for a long 3 days. K.C. refused to wear the hospital gown they gave him and kept taking it off so I put his regular shirt on.
Today he is still sore and last night his breathing was sounding obstructed so I looked up his nose and he had a big blood clot up there. I couldn't get it out because his nose is still sore and he doesn't know how to blow his nose. Today we have an appt. to see if the doctor can get it out. I forgot to mention that in one of K.C.'s ears the doctor said, "there was a foreign body in his right ear." I asked what it was and he said, "skittles." I guess that K.C.'s reinforcer for ABA also went in his ears. We will have to watch more carefully.
The boys stayed with our helper friend and Big Brother called quite a bit saying the house was so quiet without K.C. and wanted him to come home. He really missed him. Ad-Man Adam has started growing hairs on his chin! This is all new for us and I am wondering how to deal with it that's best for Adam. I wish I could ask Adam if he would like to keep the hair growing on his chin or take it off. We are going to make cards of both choices and see if we can get him to tell us that way. I always want to respect whatever he does and I can bet that Adam knows so much in his head and certainly can decide if he wants to shave or not. He just cannot communicate it. Wish us luck!
K.C.'s Autism class sent his a big get well card, each child had their thumb print on and the teacher put each child's name under their thumb print. His OT and Speech teacher signed it too. Yesterday I read it to him and he was very quiet, I read it twice to make sure he heard and understood. Guess what? He didn't tear the card up or scribble on it. He looked at it through out the day, feeling it and just looking at it. He knows. He knows.
P.S. yes that is a baby bottle you see in one of the photos. Yes K.C. still has a bottle when he's upset to calm him. He has only one a day. I know that he shouldn't but I can't see how it hurts anything and the way it calms him benefits him. I hope I don't get bashed too much for saying that.
Thanks for reading and stopping by to check on K.C. and the boys. We love you guys!

What's Been Going On.

Hello Friends,

Sorry I haven't posted in so long....It has been so busy here with the boys and I got sick (very scary).
During the holidays that the boys had off for school I got sick. So sick in fact that I had to call 911. I had just finished making dinner for the boys and started to put the dishes into the sink when I felt my heart palpitating very fast. I sat down cause it scared me so much. I called Big Brother downstairs and asked him if he would sit with me cause I was sick and a little scared. He looked kinda shocked but he stayed with me. I kept feeling worse and mentioned to Big Brother in a very happy sort of way that, "gosh, I feel horrible, I wonder what we would do if I fainted or something like that?" Then I said, "Oh I know, you could call 911 and make sure you stay with the boys every second." Meanwhile as I am talking to Big Brother I am getting worse, my heart starts beating faster and then I start to not be able to breath or hear anything, then, I was told, "I passed out."
I woke up to Big Brother leaning over me with the phone in his hand and crying. He was talking to 911. I saw K.C. walk right pass me and walk to the refrigerator and go back to the living room with a big smile on his face. He was scared to death my brave little boy was. God I hated myself for being sick and felt like such a failure for making him go through this. The paramedics came and started an i.v. and put me on a heart monitor, they gave me something called Dopamine and Potassium something something. I felt better but weak, very weak. The whole time I am thinking and freaking out cause my boys had no one to stay with them cause our helper went home (out of state) for the holidays. The officer asked me if he could call anyone (police arrived first) and I mentally went through my list of who was home. My Dad was the only person I could call. He is in a retirement care home but I had no choice. A female officer walked through the door and walked K.C. and Big Brother outside because, "she had something really cool to show them in her patrol car." Adam never came down stairs so I mentioned to the officer that my little brother was upstairs and he might be really scared hearing the commotion. I heard the officer knock on the door that was probably already standing wide open, I heard footsteps, then really fast footsteps, I knew those were Adam's and he was making a run to hide in the closet. I asked another officer who was downstairs to go up stairs and ask the other officer to come back down and leave Adam alone cause he's scared. He did come down thankfully he didn't insist he come out of the closet. I have Autism Stickers, Their ages and Names on the boys bedroom doors just in case.
The female officer came back in with the boys as they loaded me into the ambulance. I asked them to stop so I could talk to the boys. I was so scared leaving them, I tried to hold back crying and it was hard. I told Big Brother to look after Adam and K.C. the very best he could and help the officers til Papa came. I told K.C. I love him and "Mama was going to the hospital cause she wasn't feeling to good and that I would be back." I must tell you, I felt so horrible I really thought I was dying. I wondered if what I just told K.C. was a lie. I always try to be straight forward with him so he knows what to expect and that I mean it. The female officer said she would stay with the boys til their grandpa came. Thank God for this lady.
I went to the hospital praying my Dad would hurry as fast as he possibly could to our house. I knew Adam was so scared. I just wanted to jump off the stretcher and run up the stairs and hold him.
When I got to the hospital I had another EEG that showed my heart was at 145 beats per minute, the lab came and took blood, I went for an MRI, they had to shoot this dye in my veins, they were looking for clots. The dye is kinda scary, it makes your entire body heat up and you can feel it going through every vein in your body. I also had a chest xray. When the labs came back they said I had extremely low amounts of Potassium and then the doctor said I was very dehydrated. She asked me if I was taking care of myself, in my head I though, "not really like I should be." I told her I was taking care of myself. I had to stay overnight to get i.v.s to re hydrate me and then I had to get an i.v. of Potassium which burns so bad it is unbearable. It feels like fire going through your veins. The nurse had warned me before she began the Potassium.
My Dad came up to the hospital the next morning and I freaked out seeing him there thinking the boys were alone. He said that our helper had taken a flight back to AZ. He then went on to say that as soon as I left in the ambulance Big Brother called our helper friend and told her to come back fast. She did, all the way from Chicago. God Bless her. God bless her.
Before I went home the doctor said I have got to eat, drink and take good care of myself. Thinking about things since my Mom passed, Adam coming to stay with us and just everything in general I had weighed, 155 lbs, now I am down to 135lbs. I didn't stop long enough to realize what was happening. I knew I was losing weight but really never stopped to think why. Everything has been such a whirlwind. Things will change. I am very lucky I am still here and will never put the boys through that again.
Adam was the first kiddo I seeked out when I got home. He was happy to see me and I asked him for a big big hug and got it. Gosh I love that Big Boy. I felt like I had been gone for ages. I am just so glad to be home with the boys again. The Boys are my life and the reason I am live. My whole world revolves around them and their happiness. I just have to remember to eat and drink!
Before I got sick we did some Mountain climbing and I took Big Brother and Adam to see the snow, K.C. does not like snow on his hands at all. K.C. stayed with our helper and just the three of us went up north. It was beautiful and cold. Big Brother needed to get away badly. This little boy does so much for me I feel very guilty for making him do so much. Do you guys feel like that too? I asked Big Brother while we were driving in the car how he felt his life was going. We always talk like this and it gives me good insight. He said, "its going pretty good mom, sometimes its hard and K.C. and Adam can be a pain in the butt especially K.C. but my friend at school says his brother is a pain too and he DOES NOT have Autism. When he said those words, word for word I quote him, it made me happy. He understands all brothers no matter Autistic or not Autistic can be a pain in the butt.
The kids are back in school and things will be o.k. til January 12Th. January 12Th is when K.C. is having surgery. We have been visiting an ENT Doctor and he wants K.C. to have, "every benefit he has to offer him to help him." He is having his tonsils and adenoids removed along with a Sinus reduction up his nose. Tubes put in his ears too. He will be having the works. We will see if this helps K.C.. I am praying it will help him out. Please pray for him January 12th. I am so nervous for him. We went to a meeting type thing last night that allows the children who will be having surgery to walk through where they will be at in the hosp and get to try an Anesthesia mask on etc. K.C. was not thrilled but I took pictures to let him know that, "soon he will visit the hospital again." I marked it on the calendar.
Lots happening with the boys.
Thank you all for checking in, we love you guys!

Peter Piper Pizza and one awful day.

Hello! I am happy to report that Adam has been taking art classes with an instructor! (work is displayed on the sidebar) The instructor works with special needs kids and he says Adam has real talent! His memory for detail is unbelievable when it comes to painting, the painting above he worked on for a week! After he had finished it, the instructor set his work area up, paints etc. the second painting was an exact replica of his first! I mean down to the last detail! We don't know if he seen this himself somewhere or if it's his own thoughts and feelings. Either way, we love it cause it's from Adam's very own hand. I could never do this. The only thing is that Adam wants to paint the same thing over and over and over again. Maybe he's trying to tell us something? Big Brother calls his painting,"Chaos." He really likes it. Adam has found a new love in painting and I am thrilled! If my Mom could see this she would be crying, surprised and then she would cry some more. I am so proud of him and most of all we are all happy that HE loves what he's doing. God forbid anyone touch his artwork until he's completely finished! K.C. got into one of Adam's paintings and Adam screamed and cried for nearly 2 hours. I did tell K.C. very sternly not to touch Adam's artwork. We got K.C. his own set over the weekend so that he'd hopefully stay away from Adam's. Adam let's Big Brother into his room when he's doing artwork but nobody else! I asked Big Brother why Adam only lets him into his room and he says, "because you make him nervous and he's afraid K.C. will touch his paints, I just sit and read while he paints or turn his t.v. on." Makes sense to me now that I think about it. Let me know what you guys think of Ad Man's painting and I will read them to him. I always read to him and I know he LOVES it. If he knows what others think of his paintings (don't worry, it's o.k. cause it's finished) I know he'll be encouraged.

I took the boys to Peter Piper Pizza yesterday. It started out as a good time and really it was a good time all the way through until it happened. I had been thinking about this happening over the years and thought that I would be ahead of the game and maybe it would happen but it did. Adam was sitting with me in the booth eating bread stick. K.C. was too and Big Brother as well. Adam stayed with me the whole time. I started to chat with a really nice old lady who was there with her great grandchildren. This lady was still driving! Anyhow, Big Brother says, "can K.C. and I go climb the pay structure?" I thought to myself, "should I let him go?" Then thought, "dam nit, he can play too, everyone Else's kids are playing and so is he!" So off they went. I watched K.C. climb up high with his soda in his hand. An employee saw K.C. with his soda and kept saying, "hey little boy, you can't have that up there, you'll spill it." Anyhow, K.C. ignored him and the worked walked off shaking his head. I then see Big Brother waving and waved back and pointed for him to follow K.C. He knows he has to stick with him always. Just for a few seconds K.C. was out of sight. O.K., maybe a few minutes. When he did appear again, he was naked. He was naked climbing down from way up high. Oh God, as I type this I get that horrible feeling again. My heart sank and Big Brother was screaming at K.C. The old lady I was sitting near looked horrified and I asked her to please sit with Adam til I get K.C. taken care of. She motioned for me to hurry and I ran over to K.C. and tried to hide him in a tunnel til Big Brother could retrieve his pants. I dressed him super quickly and as we came out people were pointing, laughing and Big Brother was pissed. A little girl about 11 years old kept pointing at us as we took our seats next to Adam. I expected her Mama to tell her to mind her business and stop pointing but SHE DIDN'T! Big Brother by this time was crying and pissed beyond all belief. He said, "can I go to the bathroom?" I believed him and scooted out to let him through. He grabbed his soda and he went and I noticed he wasn't heading to the bathroom but straight over to that pointing little girl. He walked straight up to her took the lid off his soda and threw it in her face. Then he started to point and laugh at her (called her "ugly"). The Mom came over to us and screamed at me. Adam was getting very agitated and then a worker came and asked US to leave. I said, "what the hell for?" He said, "because customers are afraid for their children and your son won't keep his clothes on, it's a health risk." So I told him off and let him know the only risk will be when my lawyer contacts them for discrimination. He said nothing. We left with the boys. K.C. was still smiling, Adam looked agitated, Big Brother looking very satisfied with his soda throwing episode. In the car Adam sat with Big Brother, I heard him whispering to Adam, "we showed them, how does she like it, then he says, give me five Adam!" That didn't go well with me. When we have a bad incident in a supermarket or wherever, Big Brother knows we get into the van and no words are allowed til we get home. No words at all. It helps a great deal and it calms everyone down faster. We talk about it later. Big Brother has extra chores to do this week because of his soda throwing and I had a long talk about what would have been a better choice in the situation. He named a few better choices, he clearly understands. He's 8 years old, he's going to encounter alot of people like that as the boys grow up and he's with them. We have to handle it as best we can. We can't help that people are ignorant. I am so thankful for people in the Autism community, you guys are people who live our lives everyday, you understand. Very thankful.
More news... we are going to (hopefully) sell this house and move to a single story home with 5 bedrooms. It will be less crowded and the boys will feel better. The xtra bedroom we want to turn into the boys ABA room. Both boys have their ABA instructors come in the evening and it would be really nice to have one big therapy room. It will be a big step but we are ready for it!

P.S. that is our doggy in one of the photos, I couldnt get her to turn around.

Updates (UP!) Bragging..

Hello Friends,

It's been awhile since I last wrote and finally have time to sit down and write a little bit about the boys. K.C., my youngest little boy who has Autism (for any new readers who may not know) is doing very well. He is in a very good program at school and comes home happy almost everyday. He had been sick with Asthma and the school nurse called saying she needed his tubing so she could give him a treatment. I left his tubes at school and kept some at home. He's doing much better now. Sometimes the air quality is just so icky out there.

His teacher says he's doing quite well at school and he is going to be working on tracing horizontal and vertical lines in hopes that he will soon be tracing his own name soon. At K.C.'s school during lunch time, 6 students, this includes K.C. sit down and eat together. We have been working very hard on daily living skills and it is so paying off. He now sits at the table WITH people and eats! Can you believe it? Not too many months ago this little boy couldn't even sit at the table with his Big Brother. He would grab at Big Brothers plate and throw it, scream and was just not a happy little boy. He also will take his plate or bowl to the SINK and put it in when he's finished without being asked too. This didn't happen overnight though, I really believe that the school he is now is a major factor. He's learning when he's happy.

His teacher reported that K.C.'s class has been going to music class with the
regular ed students! Each child has an aide with him the whole time, always within reach. So far K.C. is doing great! My little boy is participating with a regular class! On the way back from music class his teacher says K.C. wants to touch each classroom door or open it, the classes have students in them and his teacher has to tell him, "no." He gets angry so his teacher called me yesterday and said that from now on when K.C. walks back from music class she will give him something to carry that requires both hands so he can't touch or open doors. I thought it was a very good idea. Knowing K.C, he won't put whatever it is that he is holding down and he might keep walking. Headbanging has been rare (I hope I didn't jinx myself) and I pray that they stop altogether but realize that they also might not stop and appreciate the good times even more. His Adaptive P.E. coach said she has been working with K.C. on the word, "freeze!" If K.C. can learn this word each time someone places their hands on his shoulders when he hears the word "freeze" it would be so helpful to me! I can think of alot of situations that word would come in handy! She also is working on running with K.C. K.C. doesn't run and I am not sure he even knows how too but we are working on it. Eating has been an issue. He eats alot of the same food and I mean alot. I am going to try to cut back on how much he is eating because it's all carbs and it's like a food addiction to him. He is now 92 pounds at 7 years old. I have to do something about it now or he'll just continue to gain. If anyone has any ideas on how to get K.C. away from carbs that he is so addicted too please pass on the info. Seriously he is addicted to carbs and eats so much that he throws up. I try to stop him from eating so often and boy does he get mad. I usually give in to him because I don't want to see him head bang and hurt himself. The teacher says he still eats mostly with his hands and uses a spoon or fork only sometimes. He can use a spoon and a fork but he's not very good at it and prefers to use his hands. He's trying very hard and I am so proud of him.

I have some very exciting news. Last night Big Brother and I was going through some videos of the kids playing at the park. I noticed that in one video as K.C. was climbing to go up to go down a slide I swear I heard him say, "up!" Now I have proof cause I caught it on tape. I keep asking myself, did her really say, "up?" I'd like to know what you all think, please listen to the video as he goes up the slide and see if you can tell if he is saying a word or just babbling. K.C. has said "Mama" one time in the past and that was the only time I ever heard him speak. He hasn't spoke since. I used to question myself if I really did hear him say "Mama" or not and know in my heart that he did.

Big Brother has been into football so much this month, he's really interested! I was very surprised because he has almost always disliked sports and would rather do "a science experiment." He changing big time. In the afternoons and on weekends I take Big Brother to practice with a group of children who is his age and about the same size. His coach has been great. He's patient, encouraging and "awesome" as Big Brother says. This pop warner group is a group of boys from our neighborhood. It's a rough sport and Big Brother loves it! I really believe he releases alot of his frustrations through football. All the children wear protective gear always. Big Brothers coach says that football is safer than soccer, I was so surprised. Big Brother is loving football and is doing well in school.

"Ad-Man" Adam is also doing well. He has really taken an interest in painting with a paint brush. He gets totally lost in painting and is mesmerized by the colors. He mostly paints lines and swirls and they are beautiful in my book. We have been rewarding Adam with "paint time" when he is being such a good guy. He flaps and squeals when he knows its "paint time." He has been getting along with the boys very well. Big Brother and Adam barely notice each other and keep their distances. Big Brother loves being with Adam cause he's older but I kinda think Big Brother likes the idea of being able to help Adam. This morning as we were heading out the door Big Brother stopped and tied Adam's shoes for him. I really touched my heart because Big Brother did it without being asked too. Those are the best moments. I know some folks may feel that when their child has a disability it makes it miserable for the children who are Neurotypical. In our case, in our family I have seen Big Brother grow into a caring, loving and compassionate young man. He has learned so much from having two disabled brothers. (Adam is just like a brother to the boys even though he's actually my little brother.) I love how all the boys are learning so much from each other and I wouldn't want it any other way. How could I?

We hope all of you and your beautiful kiddos are well. We will be stopping by and catching up soon!