(Autism Schmatism!) Our life with two boys, one with Autism, one without.

Everything Upside Down!

2011-07-01T21:22:00.001-07:00

Lately K.C. has wanted everything turned upside down. Dishes, cups, toys etc. must be turned upside down after he's finished with them. Tonight Diet Coke in a can was turned upside down and left on the top of my cable box. It's no longer working :( I don't know what's got into him. Even with his eyes he's looking out of the corner as much as possible as if to try to see what's behind him. Don't know what to make of it. I do know he gets mighty angry if I turn his things that he's finished with upside down. Even if the dish is full of food it gets dumped. Hopefully he will soon let this upside down thing go. I wonder if he's Dyslexic? Don't know if it's a phase or?
Adam is doing super well! He has been staying with family in Israel for the last 6 months. He will be coming back home to us very soon. When my Parents were alive Adam didn't get out much at all. My Parents were excellent parents but my Mom was so overprotective of Adam that he really didn't go very many places or even have a ABA program that he needed to go to. My Mom kinda just accepted Adam as he was which is wonderful but I could always see that he was capable of so much more. This young man has been doing very well visiting AND staying with family. Of course his home is here with the boys and I. Visiting family is his second home. He still loves to paint and is truly gifted at what he does. God blessed this young man with such beautiful talent. He's doing very well and has adjusted over the months. I'm happy that he can see the world and that he's learning to cope with changes so much better each day. Some days are rough but all in all I have to say he's doing great!
Big Brother and I are gearing up for fireworks! KC isn't a big fan of the noises that they make but we park quite far from the fireworks and don't hear the noises much but have a great view from where we sit. We are going to Walmart tomorrow to find some fireworks to buy for Big Brother. KC actually loves sparklers! He twirls them as he walks in circles never taking his eyes of the sparkles.
We hope all of you have a great holiday and please be safe! We will be trying to stay cool here in Arizona as it's been 115 degrees here!

How is the weather in your state?
(I managed to get this picture of KC looking straight at me after 6 tries! ) It's tough for him to make eye contact, if he does it's very quick! Gotta be fast to catch this guy!)

Hello! We are back!

2011-06-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Hello Dear Friends,

It's been a very long time! We have missed all of you! New folks and old friends, so good to be back!
KC just celebrated his 10th birthday! He really loves How To Train Your Dragon. He adores the dragon and Hiccup. He has also been watching the preview to Cars2. That will be huge for him. I can see it in his face and the smile when anything Cars2 is previewed.
KC is doing well. He's one big kiddo for 10 years old. He's 110 pounds and now his head reaches my neck! I'm 5feet6inches.
KC didn't develop language over the years despite our very best efforts in Speech. KC was in Speech since he was about 2. He did learn signs over the years and PECS as well but for some reason we just couldn't get him to acquire any speech. I have found that over the years I have learned to read KC's face as well as family, we know what he wants. Only problem is strangers would never be able to do this without being around KC for along time. I would say our biggest help through the years was Occupational Therapy, to this day KC is on a therapy ball for at least 2 hours a day. He needs the bouncing. He needs is badly. It regulates him, makes him happier and able to cope better. We have been through many therapy balls. They have been my savior so to speak.
We have been swimming quite a bit this month since it's been so darn hot here. Nearly 110 here today. KC loves walking around the pool and loves the foam noodle we bought him. Another he has grown quite fond of is spicy Thai food! He loves Papaya salad and spicy noodles. So many good changes for him. He's a wonderful boy and I adore every minute with him. Did I mention that he wears a size 6 shoe? Yep!
He goes to the store much more now and we rarely have any headbanging episodes. He's doing very well as long as he has OT EVERYDAY. I only wish I did this years ago. Had he been going more (more than 2 or 3 days a week) I think he would have felt so much better. I can now see how much it has helped.
KC's Big Brother is 11 years old and is a sweetheart. He loves KC and they actually go to OT together. I asked KC's OT if Big Brother could sit in and watch and she said, "yes!" This is huge because we have learned that this is the best time for the two of them to actually play. KC's more focused and laughs and watches his brother bounce and swing. He really watches him and laughs hysterically when his brother bounces.
All is well here in AZ. I am doing well myself. We even got a weenie dog! He's cute! I will write more and post more pictures soon! We love you all and welcome any new folks to read our blog and of course all of our friends who have been with us throughout the years, thank you and we love you guys!
Tina and Boys

We are doing well!

2010-10-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

The boys and I are doing well. We have been watching movies at the theater and traveling quite a bit. We just returned from Huntington Beach where the weather was gorgeous and refreshing. KC has been going on long walks in the evenings every night in hope that he loses some weight. He's one big kid! He's my little, "eating machine." He likes the movies but as soon as it starts he has to keep his ears plugged with his fingers the entire movie. He does well. Big Brother is thrilled that we all go to the movies together now! It's good and to just be able to walk out the door and go to a movie is HUGE! I have noticed with age KC is tolerating more. I really believe his sensory system is maturing more and he knows how to handle the noises better. He loves the computer and is able to color a picture online all by himself. We have accepted that KC is nonverbal and we are all working hard with signs, He's doing well. What a big boy he has become! Im so proud of this little boy.
Big Brother is really growing up! He's acting so much older and his role now is protector and helper/caretaker. It's just the way Big Brother wants it. I've reminded him a thousand times that he needs to focus also on himself and that he's also a little boy but he wont have it. He knows his brother needs lots of help and Im certain he will always be there for him.
Big Brother is doing well in school and loves all sports now! He's quite the football player. Rough and Tough. All Boy!
Trees- I forgot to mention, KC is terribly frightened of trees. Any and all trees! If a tree branch comes near him or touches him he screams and acts as if hes about to vomit. Not sure what happened. He's just constantly looking for any tall grass or anything remotely similar to a tree. Its sad because he goes in to a panic and the tears flow. Im hoping it passes,
We hope you and your families are doing well! Time to do some catching up!

Surgery For K.C.

2010-07-15T23:02:00.004-07:00

It's happened. K.C.'s had got an infection in it. Took him to the burn center in Phoenix, he had red streaks going up his arm. It was AWFUL. I'm at home and he's still in the hospital. I had to hurry home and shower, he's finally fell asleep and a child life lady promised she's stay at his bedside til I come back. She's been so wonderful. K.C. really seems to like her. She's brought him movies, connect 4 game and puzzle books. He's been crying lots since surgery, he had a graft done and has tro have one more next week. He kept ripping his I.V. out everytime I dozed off. I am sooooo sleepy. His Dad will be here tonight so when I go back to the hospital tonight I will be able to come home and sleep. I just need 4 hours and I'll be good for a few days at least. K.C. had a PICC line in. It goes under his arm and into his chest artery. They put it in in surgery. He can't get this one out. When they change his dressing they give him oxycontin 30 minutes before and they won't allow to to go in. They say they want his hospital room to feel as a safe zone where Mom is and the treatment room the not so fun room. It's been such a whirlwind. I'm sorry if it's a rambled post but I really wanted to keep everyone updated, you all are like a big family to us and we need as much support as we can get. It helps so much since we don't have family here in country anyways. The Boys are with College Boy right now. He's been our friend through alot. It's just temporary til their Dad is home. It's just after eleven p.m. and his Dad will be here around 4 a.m. Then I got a letter in the mail saying the boys Open Houses are next week for school and we must attend. I'm feeling overwhelmed and scared to death for K.C. Well thank you all for listening to me vent again.
I haven't talked to the respite person who was supposed to be watching K.C. they day he was burned. I have gone to the police and they are going to investigate and talk to her. God Knows If I "talk" to her I may throw hot boiling water on her hand. I'm just so mad she has been hiding out more or less and hasn't called once to check on K.C. if this was an accident as she says. The police will talk to her. I'm trying my best to let the anger go and concentrate on K.C. but everytime he cries and hurts I remember how we can't find her and get pi$$$$! I will keep you all updated. Have a good night everyone. Prayers all around.

VENTING!!

2010-07-11T14:54:00.002-07:00

I am writing to vent today. I had mentioned in my previous post that I was going to take Adman and Big Brother to see Despicable Me and the theatre. We did go. Not half way into the movies K.C.'s respite worker calls and says to come home right away he had gotten burned on hot soup and she was heading to the emergency room with him. Panic stricken I must have drove 90 miles per hour to the ER where we hurried in to the front desk dragging A very pissed off Adam and Big Brother trying to help control Adam and calm him from the very fast change and an end to a movie he thought he was going to see through. Big Brother a little over 4 1/2 feet and Adam nearly 5 feet 9 inches, it was tough. We managed. Big Brother found a waiting room with a t.v. and VCR where Pinocchio was playing. I ran to check where K.C. was and the nurse directed me to the room he was in. Screaming he was, trying to bite his burned hand and two nurses trying to calm him. The Dr. came in and gave him a shot which worked wonders, sedated him. I couldn't believe my baby was hurt so bad when I thought I had the best person watching him. Where was the respite worker? NOT WITH K.C. The nurse said she had left the room to FIND ME as I was coming to the hosp. THE B**** never came back! She F****** left K.C. I'm sorry for the language I'm just so pissed. I was crying, felt so god awful bad for going to the movie and leaving K.C. This was a person I had trusted to keep him safe. The nurses say his respite worker was cooking Ramen soup for K.C. when he reached up and pulled the pot handle off the stove. Hot liquid spilled all over his little hand, the top layer just feel off. The hosp the transferred us to a burn unit downtown Phoenix. They scrubbed that burn hard and put on a 'new skin' and prescription ointment and painkillers. He's been crying and crying. Now I feel bad for just leaving Adam with Big Brother. I have no family here since my parents are both passed away now. I talked to Big Brother and he said, "Mom I wouldn't let Adam get away for my life." I cried and cried. I need someone to talk too. I'm making an appointment to see counselor. I'm overwhelmed. Need more help with the boys. Our last in home helper moved to Michigan. I miss her terribly. She's finishing up her degree there. Ihave to find help. Good help. But first I am going to do everything in my power to see that the respite worker who watched K.C. is in serious s*** and should not be around another Autistic child again. How do I even know that is what happened? K.C. can't tell me. Prayers people we need prayers.

Good 4th of July

2010-07-09T14:03:00.001-07:00

Our kiddos had a great 4Th. KC tolerated the sound fairly well. We parked far away to minimize the noise. Visited town square for a bit then headed home. He spun in circles most of the time but no crying. I'm not too sure if he was overstimulated or? Tonight I am taking Big Brother Ad Man and a friend to see Despicable Me. How I wish K.C. could tolerate it. I feel bad for leaving him. We go real late, usually after 10 p.m. when he's asleep and have his respite care giver watch over him as he sleeps. He wakes alot and we now have locks on EVERYTHING. This months tally: K.C. destroyed the buttons off my cellphone, picked them off, tore the knobs off the washer, actually picked and picked at our couch til he pulled the insulation out and finally he broke the hose from the washer to the wall outlet and watched water shoot out of the wall. It was horrific. What a flood. Took the day to fix. I did it myself though! Big Brother and I are quite the team of repair people. Now there are locks everywhere. Told Big Brother he just has to get used to it and Ad Man HATES THE LOCKS. Change is very, very hard. I still don't understand why K.C. destroys things that he seems to love dearly. Even his own stuff. Labels on bottles, cans etc he's compelled to pick. His lips too. Even teeth. His lips are always rough. I try to sneak chap stick on them when he sleeps but that boy wakes at the slightest touch. We found a movie he adores. Coraline! He loves it so much. I highly recommend it! If K.C. loves it it must be good! Happy Day All!

Happy Birthday KC

2010-06-17T12:17:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday to you KC! You are 9 years old and 4 feet 6 inches tall, 101 pounds! You are changing quickly I have noticed. The hair on your arms and legs is getting longer and darker and much to your big brothers (oh mom that's not fair I'm older and I want arm pit hair!) attitude you are growing up faster than your big brother! You both are the same height now. Big Brother is worried about that. He wants to be very tall but his Daddy is only 5 feet 5 inches and Biological Mom is 5 feet 3 inches. KC may be taller because of my side of the family.

You can do many things for yourself now. You can pull your shoes on by yourself and socks too but always put them on the wrong feet, same with clothes. If they are inside out backwards etc. you don't notice at all and will wear them like that if I let you. You carry your dishes to the sink sometimes without me asking you too. Sometimes you throw your spoons and plates in the trash. It's hard to know what your thinking. You know many signs now. Sign language and hand pulling are your primary ways to communicate. Words never came to you and I am sad about it. Of the couple words I heard you say once they never came again. Never. I know they are in your head I can see you trying to think things through. We won't give up! Speech therapy will always be in your future cause I know it's possible cause I have heard it!

We had an extremely frightening day a month ago. I've not mentioned it to anyone. I'm still very unsure as to what I should do. I'm scared to mention it to your therapists. You were watching a Disney video on the computer and I was in the kitchen. I heard you scream a little and I new that was the "I'm getting angry" scream. I came into the living room and checked out your area and you too. I asked you, "what's wrong?" You looked frantic. I thought if I let you alone it would pass. Big mistake. You came into the kitchen and screamed super loud in my face and pulled your hair out. I have never seen you this mad in my life ever. To look at me in the eye without breaking eye contact for more than 2 seconds is just something you do not do. Even though I had REAL eye contact and I could totally see the boy without Autism in you at that moment, it vanished. You went straight to the kitchen sink and sat in the living room screaming with a butter knife in your hand. I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to think you want to hurt me. I put the butter knives away for good. Since them you have been o.k.

I did notice a couple wks after you got a fever but no other symptoms like coughing or runny nose. What I did notice this time was that when ou were sick you were more with it. You seemed to have better eye contact and strangely more calmer. Two very strange episodes. If anyone has any ideas please pass them on for KC's sake?

You let me hug you as much as I want these days and I am happy as ever for that! I can even say, "hug" and you walk backwards into me and let me hug you. No straight forward hugs though only backwards, you are a funny guy.

I was watching the "On Demand" feature on our cable TV service and as I browsed through the list you ran straight to the TV and touched "Shrek." I turned it on straight away and praised you endlessly. Your speech therapist made a list of Disney movies mixed up with regular words and you could pick out 25 Disney movies from that list! I'm thinking you can read I really believe you can no matter what anyone says. I was amazed! Your speech teacher seemed to be not so impressed and though it to be another Autistic Trait. Whatever. You read and I am thrilled. If you can point at a group of words mixed in with regular words and pick your movies by touch that's still reading! It gives me hope!

Ad-man is doing great! I keep him so busy he's hardly home but the thing is you love your routine and stick to it. KC doesn't like to leave the house but you do lately. You pace by the door. We had to beef up our security system because you are tall and able to reach things with ease. You still paint and paint and paint! You are very talented. We still have to help dress you but when you pick up that paint brush you are free! I couldn't even begin to paint like you do. Too bad Mom didn't get to see it.

I will close for now, need to get KC to put his clothes back on. Anytime he sees me get busy he strips and runs around naked. Big Brother said, "oh God mom what if he does that when he's a man?" He's right, I have to keep this kids clothes on him at all times. Hope you all are well and hope I didn't ramble too much! To all our friends much love to you and your families.

It's been awhile....

2010-01-28T08:16:00.003-07:00

Hello Friends,
It's been awhile since I last blogged. We have been doing well and the boys are growing like weeds! We traveled twice, the first time was to be with family in Israel and the second trip was to just get away for a couple weeks. KC does well on trips only if his doctor gives me a sedative to give to him just before. Long trips are very tough on him so God Bless his doctor for making it possible. Adam my little brother is used to flying pretty much. My Parents used to go quite a bit and as long as he has something to watch he's good (and that he gets a window seat as he looks and looks endlessly.) Big Brother is a chatterbox and his questions come at me left and right, he's changed quite a bit just over the year and has become someone who can outwit his Mom and pull the wool over any one's eyes. My dear friend College Boy has taken to calling him, "Scamp." Big Brother has a huge heart and listens to him Mama well. I know one thing for sure and certain, no one will take advantage of him in life or his brothers as long as he has any say in the matter.
K.C. has been eating everything he can put or fit in his mouth lately. Pennies, buttons on his clothes, even steel buttons he will try to chew off. I've caught him licking the walls and totally rushed with a wet wash cloth to wipe his tongue off. He's been healthy so far which surprises me because of how much he;s been putting in his mouth. We went through the entire house looking for anything he may eat or could choke on. This all happening within a two month period. It's getting terrible. Icky germs. I did get all the boys swine flu shots and seasonal flu shots. Lysol is a must now more than ever.
KC has also learned to put his own underwear and shorts on. He's been totally dry and will wear underwear all day long! As for going number 2, no way. He will hold it, be in pain rather than sit on the toilet. He's terrified of siting on the toilet. He literally shakes and screams. I feel so bad for him to see him so scared and wind up putting a diaper on him just for going poop. I'm not sure how to handle it just yet and I don't want to push him and ruin everything he's accomplished so we are taking it slow. I'm thinking when he's ready we will know.
Still not talking. Not a word. Not even close. Not to many sounds come from him, when they do they are garbled raspberries. I've come to accept that he may be nonverbal child forever. He does communicate with some signs and pictures. Pictures mostly. He knows his pictures are his way of communication and when he hands me one or I lay out choices of foods, like three choices he will scan them and hand me one. He's learned, "just one." We have our picture book everywhere we go. Even McDonald's. I've been through that drive-thru so much and as we approached in the past I'd always say, "do you want Nuggets or Hamburger?" I'd get total silence. Then came the picture book as I call it. His teacher and I printed up some McDonald's foods and he can surely pick one! I feel so much happiness knowing KC actually got what he wanted without a doubt! The happiness may seems so small to outsiders of the Autistic world but to you Mom's and Dad's and Brother's and Sisters know how good it feels and how their siblings clap and get excited for our kids with Autism.
Another change I have noted on KC but NOT big Brother. KC is almost 9 and Big Brother will be 10. KC has arm pit hair already! His legs have dark hair too! I was horrified. He's so young. Anyone else notice this on their kids? Big Brother noticed when they were taking a bath. He said, "Mom I'm older than him why is he turning into a man already?" O.k. that statement made me chuckle but still I had to say, "That's just the way God made him." Then he said, "Like his Autism too?" I agreed. I mean I wonder too but this was a good enough explanation for Big Brother and he didn't press but did look at me and as I said before he's a chatterbox, "Him KC has kinda bad luck Mommy." I didn't want to keep it going and for once he didn't press on. Maybe it was the look I gave.
Adam hasn't pinched in a month and a half! He used to pinch like crazy. We think we got that beat! He has chewy tube and his hands are always on it. It's a foot long as it was the ONLY one he'd take. He's happy with it and that's all that matters. We are happy when he's happy. He's painting alot, beautifully I might add. He has a gift from God when it comes to painting. I buy him the best paints money can buy, his room as you walk in is gorgeous. We are starting this weekend to have his walls painted white and nice and clean and then have him prepped (as it may take awhile from hs paint instructor (who has been wonderful working with Autistic kids and says that Adam has Savant skills in painting!) Do you know how proud I am? I knew this before he even told me. I've watched him.
Anyways back to his room. We are having his room painted white and we are going to try to get the idea across to him that his room walls are his canvas. I'm not sure how long it will take but I know he can do it with his teacher at his side. I want Adam to make his room come to life with his artwork all over his walls. My Parents would have been so proud and honestly I think I can imagine my Dad's mouth hanging open in amazement. My Parents sheltered Adam somewhat and he was limited in what he could do. I see no limit in his ability to do art.
I have been doing well. Healing each day mentally. Some days are way better than others but I have the boys to keep my mind from wandering to far. They are truly a blessing. Had my boys not been with me, I would have totally lost it.
Well my friends, thank you for stopping by and we hope you little guys and girls are well and that you are all doing well, we always pray for that.
I will blog more, especially about Ad Mans room!

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T08:29:00.002-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving friends :)

We are taking each day slowly. We left the country to be with family after my dad passed. My Grandmother flew with us and helped with the boys. The boys had a tough time adjusting but later loved running and playing outside. They played outside alot and to be honest I think the fact that there weren't all the electronic devices that kept them busy at home was good for them. Just good old fashioned playing.

KC is getting taller and is 1/2 shorter than Big Brother. He's catching up to his Big Brother! Adam is STILL getting taller, I am thinking this young man will be 6 feet soon. KC is much more tolerant these days, easy going mostly. He's still non verbal but now knows about 13 signs! Big Brother didn't like the trip as much and wanted to hurry home to see his friends. When we arrived at the airport to go home he was happy. He missed home. I missed it too but I needed to be with family or I would have lost it.

This Thanksgiving we all give thanks to our loved ones. Our families. The most important people in our lives.

We wish all of you a great Turkey Day! We will be blogging more soon :)

Very Sad Week Pray For Us

2009-09-21T09:26:00.002-07:00

My Dad has been struggling with the flu (flu like symptoms) over a two month period. Over the two months he got Pneumonia and has had Asthma ever since I can remember. I remember him always carrying an inhaler. He's also been depressed since Mom passed away in April. He passed away last week very quietly in his sleep. The folks at the care home called me at 5 a.m. and asked me to come to the centre. I knew it was going to happen. I had the feeling. I called Rabbi Levy and he did show up an hour later. Called relatives, said they would leave as soon as possible. My Dad's brother lives in Israel along with his wife and children. If it wasn't for Rabbi Levy and his kindness I couldn't have planned alone. I have been so scatterbrained not to mention this week Rosh Hashanah. It's given me strength that I need and my children need. The Shiva was so hard. I didn't think I could do it. I just kept thinking of Mom and now Dad and how lonely he's been without her. They did everything together. I have watched his health go down the tubes since Mom passed away. He just lost any love for life. It weakened him. Broke my heart. Still breaking. We feel very alone now. I only have my grandma who is very old. Now I keep thinking she will be leaving us soon.

Dad's brother asked that the boys and I come to stay with his family in Israel for a couple weeks. I'm not sure. Scatterbrained I am. Sorry this post is so scattered. Maybe getting away would be good for me but the boys routines would be so interrupted I think it would be extremely tough. Our helper who is also Jewish says she would come along to help with Adam and KC. I'm thinking yes we should try...still don't know. For sure nothing is certain.

The Hand Watcher

2009-08-31T11:13:00.003-07:00

This is what Big Brother has been calling me lately. Let me explain.

KC will not keep his hands out of his pants period. From front to back, me catching him, washing his hands, stopping him (trying to not make a big deal out of it or he'll do it more) even does it in the store or wherever he wants. Then I have AdMan Adam, "my pincher." Watching both boys hands has become quite tough. Adam is easier to stop but KC is alot harder and more obvious. Anybody have any ideas? Clothing etc? It seems ever since we have been trying to get him out of his diapers so he's totally using the toilet and Big Boy underwear he won't stop with the hands.

On an awesome note, his teacher reports that on Friday he used the toilet 4 times, no diapers! We are so close to being out of the diapers during the day, I mean totally not using them during the day! I'm so proud of him!

KC and The Boys - PEZ Candy

2009-08-19T12:11:00.003-07:00

Hi Bloggers,

It's been awhile since I've blogged, been so darn busy with back to school stuff and I had surgery. My Gallbladder was removed, I had a stone in my bile duct and it nearly killed me (pain wise anyway.) I am still recovering and had my staples removed last week. It was two surgeries, one was down my throat to remove the stone in the duct and the other was abdominal. I have been one slow moving Mama and thank God that I had Big Brother as my HUGE helper. While I was recovering I really thought the change would upset Adam and KC tremendously. Guess what? Somehow they sensed I wasn't feeling well and never had a melt down or pinching from Adam. I had only one day to prepare for the surgery so Tacey our helper and I prepped the boys with PECS. It worked wonders! When I got home I let the boys see my staples and all of them did look. I think that also made a difference. Big Brother was disappointed that I couldn't bring the stones home. They were sent to the lab :( Yuck!

All my boys are back in school and doing well. KC had one hair pulling incident at therapy and ripped a total bald spot at the top of his head so we had to shave it yet again. Just when we thought we had the hair pulling beat :(

Ad Man Adam is now shaving with help. I can't believe it. I mean gosh he's not my little brother no more, he's my more grown up little brother. My Mom would be so proud at that strides he is making. (Forgot to mention) after surgery I couldn't get up from a sitting position without help. Adam was in the living room and I extended my hand to him and said, "help me Adam, I can't get up I'm hurt." I swear to you I could not believe what happened next. He stood their looking off as if not to hear me, I started to put my hand down when he held his hand out for me to grab! People can you believe it? He not only extended his hand he pulled as I pulled his arm he pulled back! Yes I cried like a baby. Gosh I love that kiddo!

I used to collect PEZ dispensers as a kid and loved the candy that came with the dispenser as well :)

On a recent visit to KC's Developmental Ped. the nurse working their suggested PEZ candy as a treat (for an ABA incentive).

What's even better they are Gluten and Allergen Free hooray!

The only not so good thing about the dispensers he isn't coordinated enough to load it. Still he loves them even though Mom has to help.

We have been using the candies in his ABA program and he's doing great, (to him they are heaven and worth working for!)

So far he's collected 6 dispensers.

The part I love best is that it's something I loved collecting as a kid and to see my son 'collecting' them too is cool. Maybe I'm not so old school after all?

Big Brother has been playing football and loves it! He's changing so much. He used to be very serious and into Science stuff, but now he's into football. I have also noticed a huge change in how he wants his peers to see him. I am used to holding Adam and KC's hand wherever we go. Me being in the middle in case Adam has a pinching fit. On an outing I had just K.C. and Big Brother as Adam was in his after school Habilitation program. I tried holding Big Brother's hand and he pulled away. I asked him, "what's wrong?" He said, "Mom I'm not a baby anymore and not Autistic." I let him know straight away that I hold his hand cause I love him. Still I see him pulling away especially in front of his football buds. Makes me cry. I am glad that K.C. and Adam will let me hug them, hold their hands and never pull away. Who says Autistic kids can't show affection? I would say they are more affectionate than Big Brother right now! Both boys are non verbal but their body language says it all. My husband doesn't like that I treat K.C. and Adam "like Toddlers." I tell him, "there's nothing wrong with loving your kids at any age and any time."
That includes hugs and kisses from me. Adam went through a very hard transition when Mom died. He needed the extra attention and it hasn't been that long. Adam remembers. He has his favorite photo of Mom in his backpack and he never takes it out or tears it up. I'm very blessed to have two Autistic boys and one non Autistic kiddo.

Hope you are all well and your kiddos are doing super!

Happy Birthday To KC

2009-06-08T15:43:00.002-07:00

Happy Birthday to my KC. He is 8 years old.( For Safety Concerns I never post the exact birth date) We had his birthday over the weekend and a beautiful Disney Cars cake. KC has never ate cake and even though we tried to get him to have at least one piece of his birthday cake he would not try. We sang happy birthday to him and things got a little noisy and I could see that he was tuning us out so we kept the party short.
We got alot of good eye contact and smiles at the party. He got a huge box of wooden blocks, books, play dough and Big Brother bought him a mood ring. I asked him, "why do you want him to wear the ring?" And he said, "gosh Mom it's simple, when he wears the ring we will know what kind of mood he's in and we won't have to guess." I thought it was cute. Strangely enough when we put the ring on his finger it showed mixed emotions. Don't know if they really work but it was interesting.
KC has been doing very well. We haven't had a hair pulling or head banging incident in so long! I am keeping my fingers crossed. He has been seizure free and we are so thankful to God for this. KC is signing more, to this day he can sign, thank you, more, finished, yellow, blue, please and dog. I am working very hard to get him to sin, "Mama." I know he will learn it and when he does sign "Mama" you will hear me crying like a baby. Just typing it and imagining it makes me tear up.
Lately KC has been walking straight up to me, looking at me and opening his mouth real wide. I know he's trying to tell me something but don't know what it is. His teeth look okay and I haven't seen any sores in his mouth. It has been a daily thing and when I can't figure out what he wants he gets really frustrated. Maybe I will figure it out soon.
Big Brother is swimming alot and still riding the darn skateboard. It scares me when he rides it but he loves it. Adam got a new bike! We got a three wheeler adult Trike from Trikezilla and it's wonderful! Adam has never been able to ride a bike and I thought maybe he could learn to ride an adult trike. Well he's learning! He is getting there. He's having some trouble pushing and alternating feet. One always slides off and hits the ground. I am going to try to find something to tie around his shoe so that it will stay on the pedal. I don't know if there is such a thing and if there isn't I'll try to come up with something.
We hope you and your families are well and happy. Thank you for stopping by!
Tina and Boys

KC at 2 years old

2009-06-05T01:45:00.003-07:00

I found some video of K.C. and Big Brother when they were two and three years old. The video is quite old and grainy but thought I would post it anyways. Looking back (please watch entire video) I can see how I was in denial about K.C. having Autism. It was very clear then that he had no eye contact and loved flapping and spinning himself in circles. Still I looked the other way knowing that my brother has Autism and it was possible for my own child to have it as well. Those were tough days. Getting help and early intervention made a huge difference, had I kept looking the other way who knows what K.C. would have been like today.
Today K.C. is a very happy Big Boy who is nearly 8 years old. We love him dearly and he puts a smile on our faces everyday. Did I mention he knows how to give kisses now? You can imagine I am in heaven and request at least 20 kisses a day! He is amazing.

Summertime is here

2009-05-10T16:08:00.003-07:00

It's summertime! We have been swimming just about everyday, it's been very warm here, 104 degrees and will be climbing. Big Brothers cast is off and things are easier now. He can get in and out of the van without dragging the crutches with him.
K.C. likes staying indoors. I literally have to pry his little butt out of the seat to get him to go outside for some sunlight. He loves staying indoors and Adam does too.
We went to a horse ranch yesterday with the boys, they got to brush and feed and ride the horses. K.C. wouldn't ride but tried to brush the horse. Ad Man Adam did ride! He was so tense when he got up on the horse, his shoulders were so stiff. A young guy lead the horse around slowly and eventually I could see Adam's shoulders begin to drop. He looked so relaxed compared to how he usually walks and stands, looks like he's always about to explode or fall forward. The rest of the day for Adam was really good. We are taking the boys back on Sat. If I could get K.C. up on the horse it would be awesome. It helps Adam so much I know I will be taking him as much as I can. I did forget my camera, it sat on the kitchen table :(
School is out next week for the boys! That means I am going to be one busy Mama. Adam will be going to Summer camp for a week and Big Brother will be going to San Fran to stay 2 weeks with his Daddy. It's just going to be K.C. and I. I am planning activities for us to do while the boys are away. I can't wait to spend the extra time with K.C. but will miss Adam and Big Brother very much. Adam has went to camp every year and I remember my Mom being so excited for Adam and planning his camp trip. We wouldn't miss it for the world.
I am doing o.k. feeling better now that things are adjusting a bit more. We have a routine we follow religiously and as long as there are no big changes things have been going smoothly. K.C. is tolerating change better. Maybe it's his age? I remember the developmental Pediatrician saying, "it gets easier with age." I guess he was right.
Bought the movie Twilight, hope it's good. I am going to watch it tonight. We hope you are all well and thank you for stopping by.

K.C. is wearing C.B.'s Tshirt.

Big Brother broke his leg

2009-03-30T23:38:00.005-07:00

(Yes, that is a frozen food dinner he's eating, thank God for frozen food every now and then, especially on hectic days.)

Yep, I knew all those trips to the skate park would come back and bite us one day...three days ago to be exact. I take Big Brother to the skate park once a week, sometimes twice for his, "fun day." He's a skateboard junkie.

Things didn't go too well for him that day at the park. Somehow as he was going up a very high ramp, he didn't gain enough momentum to make it up and I watched in horror yes horror and thought to myself, "oh God this is going to hurt." As he tried to reach the top he knew he wasn't going to make a quickly turned the skateboard to head back down but turned to quickly and fell all the way down onto his head with his leg slamming down behind him. I was already down into the skate area running to him as kids started gathering asking him if he was o.k. He wasn't getting up so I knew it was bad. We tried to pull him to a standing position but he couldn't put any weight on it. I piggy backed him to the van, went home, picked up his insurance card and money for the co pay (gosh co pays suck) noticed K.C. and AdMan were doing fine with our helper friend and we left.

To make a long story a bit shorter, he broke one bone in his foot. We went to the Ortho doctor this morning and got a permanent cast. Why the ER gave us a weird cast I have no idea. I am lad that we went to the Ortho cause he knew what he was doing. So Big Brother will not be skating for a month.

At home life has been very difficult and busy. Our helper friend is staying full time to help me with all the boys. It's weird saying that cause poor Big Brother hardly ever needs help bless his heart. I feel so bad for him. He loves playing outside so much. K.C. and I did pull him around in the wagon yesterday. He did get some fresh air. K.C. and Adam have been in a sort of cranky moods cause of the change. K.C. spent nearly half the day trying to tear his cast off and I spent most of that day trying to stop him and distract him. He got so mad his nose was running his hair was full of sweat and he was so confused and seemed terrified. He did finally give up. Big Brother gives his cruthces to K.C. when K.C. approaches him. K.C. likes the crutches thank goodness.

Well I am off to bed, it's midnight here. Long day, need rest. Nighty.

Please and Time To Swim!

2009-03-19T08:51:00.004-07:00

I can't believe it's 90 degrees here. Too soon for me. Big Brother asked if we could go swimming yesterday and I agreed. He really didn't swim all that much but he did lay in the sun alot. K.C. sat at a table eating his snack he brought with him. He was such a good boy at the pool.

Last night as I was up with K.C. watching him play because he refused to lay down, I heard something I couldn't believe. K.C. got tired eventually and headed for the couch. When he's falling asleep he's always chattering and making noises. He was doing the same last night and I was smiling through the whole thing cause his little noises can be funny. Then after a few more noises I heard a "pwease." Yes, I really heard it I DID! I wasn't asleep or falling asleep. He said, "pwease" with a w sound. His eyes were shut and he was half asleep. My jaw dropped opened. I clapped quietly by myself and sat down to listen some more. The rest of his noises were just noises, but I heard him say, "pwease." I wish my Mom were here for me to call and tell her. As I drove the boys to school Adam rode in the front seat with me. Big Brother rode with K.C. I let them all know what I heard cause I had to share it with someone! I told K.C. he said it when he was half awake and half asleep. I bet he was having a dream about home or school and was needing something and said "pwease" in his head but it actually came out in his half awake half asleep state. I will be listening more every night. Wow is all I can say!
There is a little typical boy inside there. He thinks just like we do but can't get it out. I totally feel it.
I had to share this and document it in his baby book. Well it's turned into a journal after the baby book stopped at 5 years old. I once thought I would never be able to wrote down his first word ever. Now so far we have heard, "mama, up and pwease." The weird thing is we have only heard the 1 time and never again. Hopefully we will hear them more!

2009-03-12T15:24:00.002-07:00

Mr. Sleepy Head. His life has been very busy these days, it's no wonder he conks out so quickly.

K.C. has to have everything perfect. When we go somewhere he has to bring 3 or 4 favorite objects from home with him. When we are in the car he puts his things down just right and God forbid they get touched or moved, he will lose it. I just wonder why he insists on taking these things with him if they are a great source of frustration. He won't leave the house without his, car, toy cell phone, food item and drink with a straw. I guess it's o.k?

Yesterday Big Brother was outside riding his bike with the neighborhood kids. I can see them from the window trying to jump a mini ramp a kid brought. There were roughly 16 kids out there. The youngest looked 4 and the oldest 14 or 13. I went out to check on Big Brother (also to let the other kids know I'm watching and they had better not be mean to B.B.) K.C. walked with me. Some of the kids asked B.B., "who's that boy with your mom?" "Can he play?" B.B didn't even answer, he just rode off. He gave me a quick look and left. This is the very first time I could see in Big Brother's face that he was ashamed. I knew it right away. I took K.C. inside quickly. I don't know why but I was angry and hurt at B.B. I let him play a little longer and then called him inside. He was quiet, he knew I was disappointed. At dinnertime I figured we'd make tacos so that he could help. He always grates the cheese and washes the vegetables. We started talking. I asked him if he felt embarrassed by K.C. He said, "yes." Then said, "only because if K.C. makes a weird noise and they know he's Autistic they will make fun of me every chance they get." These are the only children in the neighborhood for him to socialize with. He likes these kids so I am kinda at a, "not sure what to do moment." I have noticed that Big Brother is changing a lot. He wants to be even more independent and gets embarrassed when I hold his hand or hug him in public. I guess he's getting older. I can say that I am surely thankful K.C. lets me hug and love on him all I want. He doesn't worry about being embarrassed. Two boys, completely different. I am starting to wonder if I should make friends with Autism families and find an NT sibling of an Autistic child that Big Brother can connect with. I just don't want it to be about K.C. and Autism all the time. It's not fair to B.B. I guess I have alot of thinking to do. One thing is certain. I am not going to keep K.C. inside just because of some kids who are jerks. He has a right to play just as they do. If I hear them make fun of K.C. I will come unglued. I know in my heart that K.C. understands everything that is being said around him. He just can't show it.

K.C. has been going to habilitation everyday. He's doing well. He likes the art center the most and I swear he almost drew eyes and a smile! I could see it! There are also group activities, he hates group time but has his hab person sit through it with him. Hopefully he will learn to like it.

Ad man Adam is great. I bought him an IPOD and he loves it! He's always wearing it and if you were to glance at him he just looks like a teen guy with an IPOD. You know, just one of the guys. I'm really happy that he likes it. He picked pink. What is with the color pink? I took K.C. to get new shoes and put three pairs in front of him and he picked DC soes that were pink. I tried to take the pink ones away and he had a fit. We got the pink ones because he likes them. Pink can be for guys too can't it?

I am doing better. Not as tired anymore now that the boys are going to Habilitation. I can get tons of things done while they are away and can even sleep! I was scared at first to leave them, the trust factor is huge with me. Everyone around me kept telling me to try. I finally did and I have a good feeling when I do drop them off and pick them up. They are happy there and have had better coping skills that I can notice already. I should have done this along time ago.

We hope you all are o.k. and we are sending a very big hug to Nik and his Mama. Feel better soon Nik!

Thank God for Habilitation and Respite

2009-02-21T12:55:00.004-07:00

K.C.'s Support coordinator and Adam my little brothers Support Coordinator came by for their 2 month visit. They come every two months to check up on the boys. K.C.'s Support Coordinator said that I looked, "very tired" and encouraged me to use my Habilitation and Respite hours for the boys. I promised her I would. I have had these hours all along and really haven't utilized them as much as I should have.

So yesterday and today the boys Daddy and I made our list of questions to bring along as we checked places out. I would be asking most of the questions (their Dad feels better if I do the talking cause his English is broken badly) and their Dad would be checking to see if the place looked escape proof and to see if there was anything out in the open that shouldn't be, like chemicals cleaners etc.

We visited 4 centers in all. We both agreed that the last place we checked which was this morning was best for Adam and K.C. It had many educational centers going on, sensory room and best of all both boys would be within arms reach of their habilitator at all times. There was an area for bigger kids, in fact there was even a program for adults. The adults come in the morning and leave before 2 p.m. At that point there is a huge sign that says, "No Adults Beyond This Point After 2 p.m." So K.C. and Adam will be going straight to the center after school and I will be picking them up at 6 p.m. The center wants them to come everyday but I think it's too much, after all I have to see my boys still! So 3 days a week they will go and on Saturday from 10am to 3p.m. K.C.'s Dad was convinced the place was escape proof for the boys because we couldn't even get out the door to leave, those child locks are tricky. I still worry though, most of you remember what had happened not that long ago that K.C. did escape from home. It was horrible and I have become extremely careful each day.

Big Brother and I are going to be spending time at some of the places he wants to go but can't go when K.C. and Adam are home because it's too noisy for them. Even when I do go somewhere with Big Brother alone, he kinda shuffles around and looks sad like he's missing something. I have to try to let him know it's o.k. if we go sometimes without the boys. I have told him that even if we did take them they wouldn't have a good time because of the noise (we have tried several times)and the boys would appreciate it we didn't bring them to such noisy places. Big Brother is not so convinced.

UPDATE: I started this post on Saturday and it's now Sunday afternoon. We have just came back from the skateboard park with Big Brother ( it's an older video but you get the idea. while we were there I noticed I was the ONLY parent supervising my child. I watched Big Brother skateboard and noticed an older guy probably about 20 to 25 years old walked in to the skate area. He had no skateboard or bike. Then I noticed a bunch of little kids and 1 teenager go to the guy. I was sitting across from them. Me being the nosy Mom like I am listened to what they were saying. Most of it was in Spanish as they were all Hispanic. (I took 3 years of Spanish I high school.) This guy was saying, "I have some candy that will make you feel like your in heaven." Then I watched him pull this bag of drugs right out of his duffel bag in front of EVERYONE. He then asked a kid about 11 years old, "wanna roll a joint." The kid said, "yeah." They were smoking POT! I could not believe this was happening. Big Brother rode over to me and said, "Mom that cigarette smells funny, is it a different kind?" I picked up my cell phone and dialed 911 and spoke to the operator very quietly. I explained what was going on and she sent an officer our way. I stayed on the phone with her keeping an eye on the children and the guy. When the guy saw the cops come, he reached into his pants and threw the bag of drugs into the duffel bag and walked away. The officer approached him and asked him straight away where the bags were. The guy looking like he's all innocent says, "you can even search me." Another cop came and walked toward us. I then told him his bag was at the foot of the stairs. They retrieved the bag and put the cuffs on the guy (*who was wanted) and took the kids to their parents house.

We will not be going back there ever again. We will drive a little further to a different skate park that is in a better safer area. The world is so dangerous, kids have to be supervised nearly every second.

Lightrail and the mean old lady

2009-01-29T08:48:00.003-07:00

Each weekend K.C., Adam and Big Brother have been riding the light rail all the way into Phoenix. K.C. loves the light rail so much, Adam as well. Big Brother likes it too but just not as much as K.C. and Adam. We take the light rail into Phoenix, then get off and eat at Taco Bell. I have been taking the three boys alone on these trips without help. It's something we want to do as a family. I feel confident that there will be no troubles because they love rididng so much. So far so good. Adam loves putting the money into the ticket machine and getting our passes. I really enjoy going too, Big Brother and I talk alot on these trips. It takes about 1 hr and 20 minutes to get into Phoenix. That is a long trip for the kids, I am so proud of them.

K.C. has been taking a black comb with him everywhere, he's learning to brush his hair. He chews on the comb sometimes and knows he shouldn't so lately he just puts the comb to his lips. I really think he likes that his hair has grown out, I won't be cutting it again unless he starts pulling it out again. Let's pray he doesn't pull it.
Yesterday was not a good day for us. I took K.C. grocery shopping with me, his Dad is in town from San Fran. He took K.C. and I for Dim Sum with some friends of his. We all sat around a very big table and people were talking, laughing, it was noisy but K.C. did really well. The last 15 minutes at the restaurant he had had enough. He was reading to leave and we did.
After we ate, we headed toward the grocery store. As we went into the store K.C. looked very nervous, his little smile looked frantic and I told his Dad that we should do the shopping later because I didn't think K.C. would make it through the whole shopping trip. He agreed so we were going to leave but K.C. wouldn't budge. After he heard that we were going home that was it. He cried and screamed at the top of his lungs, people were staring, I asked his Dad to stop talking to K.C. because he was making it worse. His Dad is hardly ever here, he doesn't know how to handle K.C. When K.C. is angry words make it worse. He doesn't want to hear anything. He finally got up but wouldn't leave the store. He was walking again, but crying, his cry this time was different, he totally knew he was disappointed in himself for not being able to make it through the store. It was a heart wrenching cry. Tears everywhere, I said to K.C. I know he wants to stay and make it through the store, we were going to try. He did cry on and off but through the store I was instructing him to put things into the cart. He knows what food he likes and will pick it up and put it into the cart all by himself! As we turned the corner in the store, K.C. smacked himself in the face hard with both hands, each side of his face. His Dad was shocked. Again his Dad hurried over to him and held his hands, he was even looking around the store to see if we had drawn a crowd! During the whole trip I have to say that hurt me the most, to know his Dad was more concerned about who was watching than K.C. K.C.'s hitting and crying didn't bother me and neither did the people. I knew if we left him alone he would stop. I didn't notice that there was this old lady was staring at us for the longest time. His Dad kept telling me to look at her cause she was staring but I was concentrating on K.C., wondering what had set him off. I didn't look at her until she approached us and said, "I can't believe you are letting him behave that way." That was it. I knew I was telling this woman off. Her voice sounded mean, not caring like my own grandma would sounds. I have always been told to respect elderly people but this lady wasn't giving us any respect so I said to her, "you really need to mind your own business." I thought that would be enough to send her walking but it wasn't. She then said, "it was the most awful parenting she had ever seen." I was pissed. I told her, again, to mind her own business and to leave us alone. K.C.'s Dad looked angry at me! Me of all people! For some reason he felt he owed this lady an explanation, he said to her, "my son is Autistic." That lady walked away muttering under her breath, "excuses, excuses."
We did manage to make it through the trip. K.C. finally calmed down just enough to make it through.
When we loaded the groceries into the van and got K.C. seat belted in (he can do it himself now!) his Dad didn't move. He had his hands on his head and was sweating. He said he was a nervous wreck. We switched seats so that I could drive. I had took and box of banana pop sickles out of the bag before I put them into the van. I handed his Dad the popsickle and asked him to open it for K.C. He stared at me like I was nuts. I said, "well are you going to open it?" Just then we heard a thump noise and looked back, it was K.C. chewing at the interior of the van just near the side of him. There are obvious tear marks in the van from K.C. His Dad said, "oh my God he's destroying the van!" I then said, "NOW ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN THE POPSICLE!" He opened it quickly and K.C. stopped what he was doing. He was happy. Many of you may be thinking, does she always give him Popsicles in the car? The answer is no way. He does chew the side interior but I figure it's not going to hurt him, just the van. He knows the only time he gets Popsicles is on a trip to the store. He doesn't shop with me that much but when he does I always buy him Popsicles. He's not spoiled in my book. I think of it as more of an understanding that K.C. and I have. A silent understanding. It's unbelievable the communication we have without him being able to say a thing. His Dad kind of stared at me on the way home. He kept glancing at K.C. in his mirror. It was quiet. I was at peace and so was K.C. This was just a small incident. The only words that were said was from his Daddy. He kept saying, my son is handicapped, he will always be with us, no college, no job, no marry, no future. He also said he thinks God is punishing him for something he has done. I did speak up and asked him to stop saying negative crap because K.C. could hear every word he was saying. He doesn't understand anything his Dad kept saying. I know he understands and I asked him again to stop and he did. If K.C. wants to go to college he will go with help. If he wants to marry he can. If wants to have a job he will. He has a future. I will admit there was a time I felt the same way his Dad does but have learned that K.C. IS DOING GREAT FOR K.C. Things don't always have to be the same way. He's doing well for K.C. and I love him dearly.
Time for me to go have a popsickle!

Update: Surgery for K.C.

2009-01-16T12:48:00.004-07:00

Just a quick update on K.C. and his surgery. I'll make this as short as possible :)
K.C. came out of Anesthesia fighting, crying and pulling his hair out. The nurses called me back to recovery as soon as he woke up because he was so upset. When I walked back to recovery I saw 4 nurses surrounding him. Each nurse had a foot and a arm. K.C. had ripped the i.v. out and they were trying their best to put the i.v. back in his foot this this time. It broke my heart to see him so upset. The nurses decided to move this to a recovery room that had a sliding door to it. We kept the door shut to not disturb the other patients (children) who were in recovery. Everything that we tried to calm K.C. with didn't work. The nurse left saying she was going to call the doctor and when she came back she had a needle with meds in it. I asked her what it was and she said Morphine. She gave him the shot and he fell asleep almost immediately. I could hear the blood in his throat for him screaming so much. His little nose was bloody too. She suctioned both out after she gave the shot. I stayed with him and the nurse took a seat and monitored him. They had this thing on his finger that monitors how much oxygen your body is getting and K.C.'s kept dropping down into the 70's. The Morphine had a bad affect on him. The nurse got an oxygen mask and put it to his nose and turned the oxygen on. He wore it for about an hour and slowly his oxygen levels returned. Thank God, I was so scared I thought I was going to totally lose it.
After recovery the nurses wheeled him down to a room, a private room to rest. I can honestly tell all the Mom's and Dad's out there it is the toughest thing I have ever had to do. Keeping a child, any child for that matter in a hospital room for three days is HARD. Ont he second day he was better but sore. I could tell cause he sounded so raspy and kept trying to stick his fingers down his throat and up his nose. I brought all his movies, markers, pens ETC. I knew we were in for a long 3 days. K.C. refused to wear the hospital gown they gave him and kept taking it off so I put his regular shirt on.
Today he is still sore and last night his breathing was sounding obstructed so I looked up his nose and he had a big blood clot up there. I couldn't get it out because his nose is still sore and he doesn't know how to blow his nose. Today we have an appt. to see if the doctor can get it out. I forgot to mention that in one of K.C.'s ears the doctor said, "there was a foreign body in his right ear." I asked what it was and he said, "skittles." I guess that K.C.'s reinforcer for ABA also went in his ears. We will have to watch more carefully.
The boys stayed with our helper friend and Big Brother called quite a bit saying the house was so quiet without K.C. and wanted him to come home. He really missed him. Ad-Man Adam has started growing hairs on his chin! This is all new for us and I am wondering how to deal with it that's best for Adam. I wish I could ask Adam if he would like to keep the hair growing on his chin or take it off. We are going to make cards of both choices and see if we can get him to tell us that way. I always want to respect whatever he does and I can bet that Adam knows so much in his head and certainly can decide if he wants to shave or not. He just cannot communicate it. Wish us luck!
K.C.'s Autism class sent his a big get well card, each child had their thumb print on and the teacher put each child's name under their thumb print. His OT and Speech teacher signed it too. Yesterday I read it to him and he was very quiet, I read it twice to make sure he heard and understood. Guess what? He didn't tear the card up or scribble on it. He looked at it through out the day, feeling it and just looking at it. He knows. He knows.
P.S. yes that is a baby bottle you see in one of the photos. Yes K.C. still has a bottle when he's upset to calm him. He has only one a day. I know that he shouldn't but I can't see how it hurts anything and the way it calms him benefits him. I hope I don't get bashed too much for saying that.
Thanks for reading and stopping by to check on K.C. and the boys. We love you guys!

What's Been Going On.

2009-01-06T10:19:00.002-07:00

Hello Friends,

Sorry I haven't posted in so long....It has been so busy here with the boys and I got sick (very scary).
During the holidays that the boys had off for school I got sick. So sick in fact that I had to call 911. I had just finished making dinner for the boys and started to put the dishes into the sink when I felt my heart palpitating very fast. I sat down cause it scared me so much. I called Big Brother downstairs and asked him if he would sit with me cause I was sick and a little scared. He looked kinda shocked but he stayed with me. I kept feeling worse and mentioned to Big Brother in a very happy sort of way that, "gosh, I feel horrible, I wonder what we would do if I fainted or something like that?" Then I said, "Oh I know, you could call 911 and make sure you stay with the boys every second." Meanwhile as I am talking to Big Brother I am getting worse, my heart starts beating faster and then I start to not be able to breath or hear anything, then, I was told, "I passed out."
I woke up to Big Brother leaning over me with the phone in his hand and crying. He was talking to 911. I saw K.C. walk right pass me and walk to the refrigerator and go back to the living room with a big smile on his face. He was scared to death my brave little boy was. God I hated myself for being sick and felt like such a failure for making him go through this. The paramedics came and started an i.v. and put me on a heart monitor, they gave me something called Dopamine and Potassium something something. I felt better but weak, very weak. The whole time I am thinking and freaking out cause my boys had no one to stay with them cause our helper went home (out of state) for the holidays. The officer asked me if he could call anyone (police arrived first) and I mentally went through my list of who was home. My Dad was the only person I could call. He is in a retirement care home but I had no choice. A female officer walked through the door and walked K.C. and Big Brother outside because, "she had something really cool to show them in her patrol car." Adam never came down stairs so I mentioned to the officer that my little brother was upstairs and he might be really scared hearing the commotion. I heard the officer knock on the door that was probably already standing wide open, I heard footsteps, then really fast footsteps, I knew those were Adam's and he was making a run to hide in the closet. I asked another officer who was downstairs to go up stairs and ask the other officer to come back down and leave Adam alone cause he's scared. He did come down thankfully he didn't insist he come out of the closet. I have Autism Stickers, Their ages and Names on the boys bedroom doors just in case.
The female officer came back in with the boys as they loaded me into the ambulance. I asked them to stop so I could talk to the boys. I was so scared leaving them, I tried to hold back crying and it was hard. I told Big Brother to look after Adam and K.C. the very best he could and help the officers til Papa came. I told K.C. I love him and "Mama was going to the hospital cause she wasn't feeling to good and that I would be back." I must tell you, I felt so horrible I really thought I was dying. I wondered if what I just told K.C. was a lie. I always try to be straight forward with him so he knows what to expect and that I mean it. The female officer said she would stay with the boys til their grandpa came. Thank God for this lady.
I went to the hospital praying my Dad would hurry as fast as he possibly could to our house. I knew Adam was so scared. I just wanted to jump off the stretcher and run up the stairs and hold him.
When I got to the hospital I had another EEG that showed my heart was at 145 beats per minute, the lab came and took blood, I went for an MRI, they had to shoot this dye in my veins, they were looking for clots. The dye is kinda scary, it makes your entire body heat up and you can feel it going through every vein in your body. I also had a chest xray. When the labs came back they said I had extremely low amounts of Potassium and then the doctor said I was very dehydrated. She asked me if I was taking care of myself, in my head I though, "not really like I should be." I told her I was taking care of myself. I had to stay overnight to get i.v.s to re hydrate me and then I had to get an i.v. of Potassium which burns so bad it is unbearable. It feels like fire going through your veins. The nurse had warned me before she began the Potassium.
My Dad came up to the hospital the next morning and I freaked out seeing him there thinking the boys were alone. He said that our helper had taken a flight back to AZ. He then went on to say that as soon as I left in the ambulance Big Brother called our helper friend and told her to come back fast. She did, all the way from Chicago. God Bless her. God bless her.
Before I went home the doctor said I have got to eat, drink and take good care of myself. Thinking about things since my Mom passed, Adam coming to stay with us and just everything in general I had weighed, 155 lbs, now I am down to 135lbs. I didn't stop long enough to realize what was happening. I knew I was losing weight but really never stopped to think why. Everything has been such a whirlwind. Things will change. I am very lucky I am still here and will never put the boys through that again.
Adam was the first kiddo I seeked out when I got home. He was happy to see me and I asked him for a big big hug and got it. Gosh I love that Big Boy. I felt like I had been gone for ages. I am just so glad to be home with the boys again. The Boys are my life and the reason I am live. My whole world revolves around them and their happiness. I just have to remember to eat and drink!
Before I got sick we did some Mountain climbing and I took Big Brother and Adam to see the snow, K.C. does not like snow on his hands at all. K.C. stayed with our helper and just the three of us went up north. It was beautiful and cold. Big Brother needed to get away badly. This little boy does so much for me I feel very guilty for making him do so much. Do you guys feel like that too? I asked Big Brother while we were driving in the car how he felt his life was going. We always talk like this and it gives me good insight. He said, "its going pretty good mom, sometimes its hard and K.C. and Adam can be a pain in the butt especially K.C. but my friend at school says his brother is a pain too and he DOES NOT have Autism. When he said those words, word for word I quote him, it made me happy. He understands all brothers no matter Autistic or not Autistic can be a pain in the butt.
The kids are back in school and things will be o.k. til January 12Th. January 12Th is when K.C. is having surgery. We have been visiting an ENT Doctor and he wants K.C. to have, "every benefit he has to offer him to help him." He is having his tonsils and adenoids removed along with a Sinus reduction up his nose. Tubes put in his ears too. He will be having the works. We will see if this helps K.C.. I am praying it will help him out. Please pray for him January 12th. I am so nervous for him. We went to a meeting type thing last night that allows the children who will be having surgery to walk through where they will be at in the hosp and get to try an Anesthesia mask on etc. K.C. was not thrilled but I took pictures to let him know that, "soon he will visit the hospital again." I marked it on the calendar.
Lots happening with the boys.
Thank you all for checking in, we love you guys!

Peter Piper Pizza and one awful day.

2008-11-24T09:10:00.008-07:00

Hello! I am happy to report that Adam has been taking art classes with an instructor! (work is displayed on the sidebar) The instructor works with special needs kids and he says Adam has real talent! His memory for detail is unbelievable when it comes to painting, the painting above he worked on for a week! After he had finished it, the instructor set his work area up, paints etc. the second painting was an exact replica of his first! I mean down to the last detail! We don't know if he seen this himself somewhere or if it's his own thoughts and feelings. Either way, we love it cause it's from Adam's very own hand. I could never do this. The only thing is that Adam wants to paint the same thing over and over and over again. Maybe he's trying to tell us something? Big Brother calls his painting,"Chaos." He really likes it. Adam has found a new love in painting and I am thrilled! If my Mom could see this she would be crying, surprised and then she would cry some more. I am so proud of him and most of all we are all happy that HE loves what he's doing. God forbid anyone touch his artwork until he's completely finished! K.C. got into one of Adam's paintings and Adam screamed and cried for nearly 2 hours. I did tell K.C. very sternly not to touch Adam's artwork. We got K.C. his own set over the weekend so that he'd hopefully stay away from Adam's. Adam let's Big Brother into his room when he's doing artwork but nobody else! I asked Big Brother why Adam only lets him into his room and he says, "because you make him nervous and he's afraid K.C. will touch his paints, I just sit and read while he paints or turn his t.v. on." Makes sense to me now that I think about it. Let me know what you guys think of Ad Man's painting and I will read them to him. I always read to him and I know he LOVES it. If he knows what others think of his paintings (don't worry, it's o.k. cause it's finished) I know he'll be encouraged.

I took the boys to Peter Piper Pizza yesterday. It started out as a good time and really it was a good time all the way through until it happened. I had been thinking about this happening over the years and thought that I would be ahead of the game and maybe it would happen but it did. Adam was sitting with me in the booth eating bread stick. K.C. was too and Big Brother as well. Adam stayed with me the whole time. I started to chat with a really nice old lady who was there with her great grandchildren. This lady was still driving! Anyhow, Big Brother says, "can K.C. and I go climb the pay structure?" I thought to myself, "should I let him go?" Then thought, "dam nit, he can play too, everyone Else's kids are playing and so is he!" So off they went. I watched K.C. climb up high with his soda in his hand. An employee saw K.C. with his soda and kept saying, "hey little boy, you can't have that up there, you'll spill it." Anyhow, K.C. ignored him and the worked walked off shaking his head. I then see Big Brother waving and waved back and pointed for him to follow K.C. He knows he has to stick with him always. Just for a few seconds K.C. was out of sight. O.K., maybe a few minutes. When he did appear again, he was naked. He was naked climbing down from way up high. Oh God, as I type this I get that horrible feeling again. My heart sank and Big Brother was screaming at K.C. The old lady I was sitting near looked horrified and I asked her to please sit with Adam til I get K.C. taken care of. She motioned for me to hurry and I ran over to K.C. and tried to hide him in a tunnel til Big Brother could retrieve his pants. I dressed him super quickly and as we came out people were pointing, laughing and Big Brother was pissed. A little girl about 11 years old kept pointing at us as we took our seats next to Adam. I expected her Mama to tell her to mind her business and stop pointing but SHE DIDN'T! Big Brother by this time was crying and pissed beyond all belief. He said, "can I go to the bathroom?" I believed him and scooted out to let him through. He grabbed his soda and he went and I noticed he wasn't heading to the bathroom but straight over to that pointing little girl. He walked straight up to her took the lid off his soda and threw it in her face. Then he started to point and laugh at her (called her "ugly"). The Mom came over to us and screamed at me. Adam was getting very agitated and then a worker came and asked US to leave. I said, "what the hell for?" He said, "because customers are afraid for their children and your son won't keep his clothes on, it's a health risk." So I told him off and let him know the only risk will be when my lawyer contacts them for discrimination. He said nothing. We left with the boys. K.C. was still smiling, Adam looked agitated, Big Brother looking very satisfied with his soda throwing episode. In the car Adam sat with Big Brother, I heard him whispering to Adam, "we showed them, how does she like it, then he says, give me five Adam!" That didn't go well with me. When we have a bad incident in a supermarket or wherever, Big Brother knows we get into the van and no words are allowed til we get home. No words at all. It helps a great deal and it calms everyone down faster. We talk about it later. Big Brother has extra chores to do this week because of his soda throwing and I had a long talk about what would have been a better choice in the situation. He named a few better choices, he clearly understands. He's 8 years old, he's going to encounter alot of people like that as the boys grow up and he's with them. We have to handle it as best we can. We can't help that people are ignorant. I am so thankful for people in the Autism community, you guys are people who live our lives everyday, you understand. Very thankful.
More news... we are going to (hopefully) sell this house and move to a single story home with 5 bedrooms. It will be less crowded and the boys will feel better. The xtra bedroom we want to turn into the boys ABA room. Both boys have their ABA instructors come in the evening and it would be really nice to have one big therapy room. It will be a big step but we are ready for it!

P.S. that is our doggy in one of the photos, I couldnt get her to turn around.

Updates (UP!) Bragging..

2008-10-28T08:57:00.006-07:00

Hello Friends,

It's been awhile since I last wrote and finally have time to sit down and write a little bit about the boys. K.C., my youngest little boy who has Autism (for any new readers who may not know) is doing very well. He is in a very good program at school and comes home happy almost everyday. He had been sick with Asthma and the school nurse called saying she needed his tubing so she could give him a treatment. I left his tubes at school and kept some at home. He's doing much better now. Sometimes the air quality is just so icky out there.

His teacher says he's doing quite well at school and he is going to be working on tracing horizontal and vertical lines in hopes that he will soon be tracing his own name soon. At K.C.'s school during lunch time, 6 students, this includes K.C. sit down and eat together. We have been working very hard on daily living skills and it is so paying off. He now sits at the table WITH people and eats! Can you believe it? Not too many months ago this little boy couldn't even sit at the table with his Big Brother. He would grab at Big Brothers plate and throw it, scream and was just not a happy little boy. He also will take his plate or bowl to the SINK and put it in when he's finished without being asked too. This didn't happen overnight though, I really believe that the school he is now is a major factor. He's learning when he's happy.

His teacher reported that K.C.'s class has been going to music class with the
regular ed students! Each child has an aide with him the whole time, always within reach. So far K.C. is doing great! My little boy is participating with a regular class! On the way back from music class his teacher says K.C. wants to touch each classroom door or open it, the classes have students in them and his teacher has to tell him, "no." He gets angry so his teacher called me yesterday and said that from now on when K.C. walks back from music class she will give him something to carry that requires both hands so he can't touch or open doors. I thought it was a very good idea. Knowing K.C, he won't put whatever it is that he is holding down and he might keep walking. Headbanging has been rare (I hope I didn't jinx myself) and I pray that they stop altogether but realize that they also might not stop and appreciate the good times even more. His Adaptive P.E. coach said she has been working with K.C. on the word, "freeze!" If K.C. can learn this word each time someone places their hands on his shoulders when he hears the word "freeze" it would be so helpful to me! I can think of alot of situations that word would come in handy! She also is working on running with K.C. K.C. doesn't run and I am not sure he even knows how too but we are working on it. Eating has been an issue. He eats alot of the same food and I mean alot. I am going to try to cut back on how much he is eating because it's all carbs and it's like a food addiction to him. He is now 92 pounds at 7 years old. I have to do something about it now or he'll just continue to gain. If anyone has any ideas on how to get K.C. away from carbs that he is so addicted too please pass on the info. Seriously he is addicted to carbs and eats so much that he throws up. I try to stop him from eating so often and boy does he get mad. I usually give in to him because I don't want to see him head bang and hurt himself. The teacher says he still eats mostly with his hands and uses a spoon or fork only sometimes. He can use a spoon and a fork but he's not very good at it and prefers to use his hands. He's trying very hard and I am so proud of him.

I have some very exciting news. Last night Big Brother and I was going through some videos of the kids playing at the park. I noticed that in one video as K.C. was climbing to go up to go down a slide I swear I heard him say, "up!" Now I have proof cause I caught it on tape. I keep asking myself, did her really say, "up?" I'd like to know what you all think, please listen to the video as he goes up the slide and see if you can tell if he is saying a word or just babbling. K.C. has said "Mama" one time in the past and that was the only time I ever heard him speak. He hasn't spoke since. I used to question myself if I really did hear him say "Mama" or not and know in my heart that he did.

Big Brother has been into football so much this month, he's really interested! I was very surprised because he has almost always disliked sports and would rather do "a science experiment." He changing big time. In the afternoons and on weekends I take Big Brother to practice with a group of children who is his age and about the same size. His coach has been great. He's patient, encouraging and "awesome" as Big Brother says. This pop warner group is a group of boys from our neighborhood. It's a rough sport and Big Brother loves it! I really believe he releases alot of his frustrations through football. All the children wear protective gear always. Big Brothers coach says that football is safer than soccer, I was so surprised. Big Brother is loving football and is doing well in school.

"Ad-Man" Adam is also doing well. He has really taken an interest in painting with a paint brush. He gets totally lost in painting and is mesmerized by the colors. He mostly paints lines and swirls and they are beautiful in my book. We have been rewarding Adam with "paint time" when he is being such a good guy. He flaps and squeals when he knows its "paint time." He has been getting along with the boys very well. Big Brother and Adam barely notice each other and keep their distances. Big Brother loves being with Adam cause he's older but I kinda think Big Brother likes the idea of being able to help Adam. This morning as we were heading out the door Big Brother stopped and tied Adam's shoes for him. I really touched my heart because Big Brother did it without being asked too. Those are the best moments. I know some folks may feel that when their child has a disability it makes it miserable for the children who are Neurotypical. In our case, in our family I have seen Big Brother grow into a caring, loving and compassionate young man. He has learned so much from having two disabled brothers. (Adam is just like a brother to the boys even though he's actually my little brother.) I love how all the boys are learning so much from each other and I wouldn't want it any other way. How could I?

We hope all of you and your beautiful kiddos are well. We will be stopping by and catching up soon!

L'shanah Tovah

2008-09-29T11:05:00.003-07:00

Family and Friends,

We wish you all a wonderful, happy, healthy and peaceful year. This has been our 'year of learning', also momentous, in that we celebrated so many things: Birthdays, having Adam in our lives, my boys and all of the wonderful people who help us with the boys. This has been a year of learning for us.

May you all see such happiness,
Tina, Adam, Jayce and Chance

The attached video is of K.C.(Chance) at the park doing what he now loves to do best at the park. He loves laying in the sand. He looks very peaceful and his body looks so relaxed when he's in the "icky sand" as I say to him. It was straight to the bathtub for him when he got home :)

Leo (Language and ECU in one)

2008-09-28T03:10:00.006-07:00

Hello Everyone,

How is everyone? We hope that you and your families are doing well. We are doing great these days. We have our tough days but mostly we have been having good days.
K.C. Is doing so well in his new program at school. Each morning he looks forward to going to school. He even smiles while I help him get dressed. He has a "job" at school. He helps cleaning up the classroom by putting things in their proper place. He understands this well, he loves for things to be the same so putting things away as they were before is something he loves to do. His teacher has been great. She stays in contact with me each day either by phone calls or in his communication notebook. About 2 weeks ago I asked the teacher if we could work on potty training K.C. because I believe he is ready. I told her I would still send his pull ups and that I would also be sending kids boxer shorts. The staff at his school have been taking him to the bathroom several times a day and waits in the bathroom with him until he goes. Sometimes he does go and sometimes he doesn't. We have been working on it very hard and I can now officially say that he is nearly day time potty trained. We only put a pull up on him when he rides home on the bus and in the morning on the ride to school. At home he is also doing great potty training. When he gets antsy and walks around looking panicky we hurry him to the bathroom. Yesterday Big Brother was in the bathroom ad K.C. had to go, I hurried Big Brother out just before he almost had an accident. He can't hold it for long so at school and at home we hurry him to the bathroom. He had at least 4 successes a day at the toilet! I am so proud of him, he is such a trooper.

K.C. has been using an augmentative communication device called "LEO." His teacher thinks this device will be best for K.C. so we are having a guy come in with alot of different devices to see which one would work best for K.C. He is using LEO in the classroom but just to be sure before we get one, to let K.C. try different ones. I too think LEO is best for him. This is what LEO is, http://www.assistivetech.com/p-leo.htm

We have been going on early evening walks with the boys. We have to walk in the evening because during the day, it is still around 104 degrees! Our buddy helper walks with Adam and I pull K.C. along in his yellow wagon. He loves this wagon so much in fact, when the sun starts to go down in the evening he pulls the wagon into the kitchen or wherever I am and just stands there! That my friends is communication! I always finish up whatever I am doing and we head out the door! He loves the wagon so much in fact, the above picture is of K.C. and Jayce, K.C. is actually sleeping in this wagon and Big Brother has fell asleep on the couch while watching SpiderMan part 1. K.C. kept trying to pull his wagon through the couch so I moved the couch and pulled the wagon near Big Brother and he fell asleep fast. K.C. never plays with Big Brother or Adam, BUT if they are sleeping he will hang around. He knows! We haven't had the wagon for very long, we ordered it from Lakeshore and it can hold four small kids or one big boy K.C.! We got it here, I also found alot of interesting things here teaching.
http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/seo/ca%7CsearchResults~~p%7CLA979~~.jsp

Big Brother is doing great. We have installed a Tetherball and Tetherball Pole in the backyard. Adam doesn't understand the game but he loves hitting the ball. Big Brother loves having Adam in the backyard because he has no one to play with. He told me yesterday that even though Adam and K.C. can not speak having someone there just to watch is good enough for him! I do watch Big Brother play and play with him sometimes too. He loves having kids to play with and I love seeing him smile.

Adam (we have been calling him "Add Man" these days and sometimes I think I see him grinning when I say it.) He too is doing well in school and his ABA program at home. K.C. Adam and K.C. both have ABA instructors come to our house in the early evening to work with them separately. It's never too late for ABA, Adam is a teenager and has really just began his ABA program since living with us. Before ABA he could not dress himself properly, he now dresses himself. He is still working on brushing his hair, teeth etc but one step at a time. He is getting there and I am very proud of him and I believe he is happy that he has learned so much and can do it all by himself.

I have been having some lower back problems but have an appointment to see a doctor soon. During the day I have time to myself and some days I am so tired that I set the alarm clock for 2:00 p.m. and after the boys leave I had for the bed! One day last week I slept from about 8 til 2 p.m.! Having three boys is a very tiring job and it catches up to you and when it does you have to sleep to keep from getting worn out.

Thank you all for checking in on us, we love having visitors to the blog.

I have added a very important link to my blog. It is at the top right hand corner of my blog. It says, "Please show your support to Lora and Griffin, to learn more please visit, (there is a clickable link on my page.) Please visit her and her Autistic son Griffin, she has something very important to say and I believe we all can learn something from her experience.

The Butcher

2008-08-22T04:25:00.003-07:00

I have learned/figured out something about K.C. today that I couldn't figure out before. K.C. has been going to the supermarket with me more and more these days. He does a great job of waiting and seems at ease when we are in the front of the store. When we head toward the back of the store he always, ALWAYS gets anxious and walks with his fingers stuck in his ears. I could never figure it out before, I thought that maybe he was tired of shopping and wanted to go home. Today I am so happy to say that the butcher and I have solved why K.C. gets so uncomfortable at the back of the store.

As we were approaching the whole frozen chickens it started. As we walked closer to the meat he cried, covered his ears and tried to walk the other way. The butcher who was putting meat out watched K.C. as I tried to get him to stay with me as I looked at the chicken/meat. The butcher walked over to us and said, "hi mam, hi young man, are your ears hurting today?"

It hit me like a bolt of lightening, something in the meat/chicken section was killing his ears even standing 10 feet from the meat section. I walked K.C. away from the meat section and slowly his hands came off his ears. I listened as we got closer. I heard nothing but K.C. heard something. The butcher was watching us out of the corner of his eye. I walked over to the butcher and said, "yep, you are right, his ears hurt today especially when we walk toward this section. The butcher then said, "it buzzes." I said nothing because I didn't know what the heck he was talking about and he said, "the freezers make a very low buzzing." That was it. I looked down at K.C. and said, "that noise coming from the meat freezer is hurting your ears, I understand now, lets get away from the noise."

He was fine, he listened to me talk and I could see his eyes darting around so I know he was listening.

To all the Mom's and Dad's out there who have Autistic children. Sometimes what seems to be the smallest noise to us is the biggest explosion to an Autistic child's ears. I have learned that I need to be constantly alert to my environment so that I can pinpoint what is causing K.C.'s ears to hurt. It's sometimes tough to figure out but we try and do the best we can so that our children aren't hurting.

Under Control, Somewhat.

2008-08-16T09:31:00.003-07:00

July and August have been the toughest months by far. K.C. has had so many self injurious behaviors we are just now getting them under control. This little boy has made a dramatic change in two months time. "Can his Autism become worse I asked his Doctor?" The Doctor said that sometimes when children with Autism reach third grade or when they are about to become teenagers there is a huge hormonal change and he believes this is why K.C. has changed so much. Interesting. I don't know if that is what is really happening with K.C. but we have done things like increasing his Occupational Therapy and doing lots of sensory projects at home. K.C. really loves shaving cream and could play in it for the longest time. When his Big Brother tries to join him he leaves pretty quick. Big Brother has gotten so used to his brother up and leaving him he doesn't say a word about it anymore. I have been taking Big Brother to my sisters house on the weekends to swim with his little cousin Lynn Lynn. Adam and K.C. stay with me and we have even made a few trips inside McDonald's to eat lunch. We usually sit as far away from people as we can. I want to take the boys out and enjoy life without being stared at so we sit away from folks. I have no doubt that Adam and K.C. understand what is going on and know when people stare/talk about them. I used to not be sure of how much K.C. could understand but watching Adam and talking with my Dad he promises me that K.C. knows even though it appears he is not listening. When Adam came to stay with us after my Mom passed away he couldn't even put his own shoes on his feet. He put his pants on backwards. Adam has been doing sessions of ABA and guess what? This teenager is putting his own shoes on and almost, almost his own clothes. The thing is he can put them on but sometimes they are backwards or inside out. Going into ABA the first time with a teenager I was skeptical. I knew that ABA worked for young children but teenagers? It does work! Last night we made a trip to McDonald's and as I was putting K.C.'s shoes on, I asked Adam to, "put shoes on feet." I asked him to do it once and he hesitated but I was persistent and he did it! I think he was proud of himself because he was so calm in McDonald's. Being calm but persistent in what I ask of the boys is really working wonders. Sometimes you just have to let them do it themselves even if the task seems to big and watching them struggle to do something hurts. After all we are Mom's and we want to do anything we can to help our kids. Adam's ABA teacher said that I am helping by not helping. He was right.

The boys are in school finally! It seemed like the longest Summer but to be honest I sure do miss all three during the day. I feel lost without them and sometimes I wander this house picking up a favorite toy of theirs and just thinking and hoping they are all o.k. at school. So far the boys are adjusting well to school. Big Brother goes to private school and Adam and K.C. go to a private Autism school. We have gotten a routine down and the boys know what to expect each morning. During the morning time our helper Tacey makes breakfast for all three and packs their lunches. I help them get prepared for school. Adam is still eating Eggo Waffles and is as thin as a rail. He likes them toasted extra crunchy and will drink a tall glass of orange juice. K.C. has been eating Life cereal, just plain life cereal minus the milk (he's allergic). He'll drink Apple Juice. Big Brother will eat just about anything you place in front of him. Packing two Autistic kids lunches has to be the hardest part. Their teachers have refrigerators in the classroom thankfully and a microwave. I literally have to think and think of what the heck to have Tacey pack for them. K.C. eats a whole lot but it has to be the same things everyday. Adam eats very little.
I did manage to do something for myself! I went to the mall and ate by myself and then I walked through the mall to Sears and bought a new bra and socks. I am going to buy some new clothes soon because I have been losing alot of weight the past three months. I haven't been dieting but I have been busy and stressed at times so maybe that did it. I can now fit into a size 10 sometimes and a 12. While I was at them mall I walked past a store called, "Hot Topic." It's a store that is definitely for teenagers. I started thinking about Adam, he's a teenager, why can't he wear these clothes? He may be Autistic but that is no reason he can't look "cool" as Big Brother would say. I bought him three pairs of pants, two pairs of shorts and the "coolest" shoes. He got alot of nice comments in his notebook from school. He looks like a totally different kiddo. He's such a handsome young fella. I know my Mom wouldn't agree with what Adam is wearing but she was a bit old fashioned, I am not saying that is a bad thing but thinking of Adam and how he is a teen I thought he would feel more comfortable wearing a pair of Vans and dressing different. One thing for sure. Both K.C. and Adam like the same kind of socks. Both boys want to wear the "no show socks." Maybe they cannot tolerate the regular socks on their legs? When I came home from the mall and Big Brother had seen what I had bought for Adam he immediately said, "Mom why can't K.C. and I have those clothes too, pleaseeee!" So the next day I made another trip to the mall and got two more pairs of Vans, four pairs of shorts, socks and four shirts. The grand total of this shopping trip was $532.00 and I can tell you I will not be buying anymore clothes for a long time.

Hope you all are well and thank you to everyone who stops by to visit "The Boys."

Thank you to Sir Nik's Mommy at, http://maternal-instincts.blogspot.com. I received the sign language videos and the boys love them. Thank you so much, you are sweethearts.

S.i.b.s.

2008-07-22T01:27:00.004-07:00

K.C. has been having awful self injurious behaviors. I am really trying to understand what is setting him off. He can't stand to hear the water running or much of any noise lately. He doesn't want to take a bath because of the running water, he cries, hits himself and has yanked alot of his hair out down to the scalp. I am totally heartbroken. I can't sleep because I am worried, I just sit and watch him sleep, thinking about him, how can I help him? Will he always hurt himself? I wonder if he's very sad? There are so many thoughts going through my head.
I have been telling myself that not all days are going to be good. Some days will be tough, but most days are good.

I did take K.C. to the doctor today, his ears are fine, I thought it may have been his ears but the doctor said his ears looked good. The doctor really didn't offer any suggestions, as a matter of fact she just listened and stared at K.C which made him very antsy. She increased his Risperdal to 3 mg. I want K.C. to feel better but I am worried that the Risperdal will make him eat even more. He has gained alot of weight on the Risperdal. I am just praying that he feels better and I figure out what is going on with K.C. It must be so frustrating for him, he can't communicate to me how he feels, it has to be very frustrating.

When K.C.'s s.i.b.s. are happening more, Big Brother gets very worried and he is always on edge. He feels it is his place to watch over K.C. and stop him from hitting himself. I explained to him that it was Mommy's place to help K.C. through his s.i.b.s. and told him I loved him and thanked him for helping but told him, "I can always help K.C." Big Brother isn't very happy these days and has spent alot of time putting puzzles together with Adam or watching Disney videos.

Tomorrow I am going to have to cut K.C.'s hair very short so that he can't grab it anymore. His lip is busted from head banging, tomorrow I am just going to let him have a day without therapies, a K.C. day to do some of the things K.C. wants to do.

Big Brother and Adam are well. Today they watched Edward Scissor hands and then they watched Jumanji. They watched it upstairs away from K.C. because K.C. screams his head off if someone suddenly pops in a video. He runs around the house in a complete panic crying and covering his ears. I put a television in the kitchen and Big Brother has been using headphones to listen to whatever he tries to watch, if K.C. doesn't scream.

I just want all the boys to be happy. Please say a little prayer for K.C. to feel better, I am worried so much about him.

K.C. is uneasy. Adam starts ABA. Big Brother is at Summer Kamp.

2008-07-18T16:12:00.003-07:00

Hello Everybody, I thought I would post an update on the boys.

Big Brother has been at Summer Kamp. Yesterday the camp had a family night so we went to watch him and his fellow campers sing and dance. Afterwards I watched him play games, say goodbye to the camper teachers and he ate candy, lots of candy. I found a new snack while I was there. They are called Flamin Hot Cheetos with lime. I normally don't eat much junk food but these were actually good. Big Brother had a great time at camp and was eager to get home. When we got home he was so happy to see K.C. and Adam. He kept saying, "I missed you guys!" He hugged K.C. quickly cause that is about all K.C. can tolerate when it comes to hugs and gave Adam a great big hug. Adam can tolerate hugs a little bit better than K.C. He had a really great time at camp.

Adam has started ABA in full swing. When my mother was alive she wasn't a big fan of ABA at all, he went to therapies and did try ABA for awhile but for some reason my mother never liked Adam in ABA. I have started an ABA program for Adam and he's doing well. When Adam first started in reminded me so much of K.C.'s first ABA sessions. Lots of screaming, getting up and stimming. We are working on sitting during a sessions with Adam. Before ABA he wouldn't sit with a stranger (his new ABA teacher) for more than a minute. We are slowly working on it and his adjusting very nicely. Even though Adam is a teenager I feel that ABA will help him so much. It's never too late for ABA. I have some guilt about starting the ABA program with Adam but I want what's best for Adam and I believe this is it. I talked to my Dad about ABA and he agreed. He told me to do what I thought was best for Adam. My Dad is not the same person, he is so depressed and has lost weight. The boys and I visit him on a regular basis. I am trying so hard to move forward with the boys, when I see my Dad so sad I feel like I have taken two steps back. I hate that I feel like that. I feel like I am being so selfish. I miss my Mother so much, it hurts badly. I get a rush of sadness in the pit on my stomach when I think of her. I just really want the boys to be the best they can be. I want them to keep moving forward always. We will look back on special days, but for now these boys are my top priorities.

K.C. is not doing so well. His little face says it all. He looks so uptight and distant these days, I just don't know what is wrong with him. His crying and screaming has been happening everyday, when I try to calm him his s.i.b.s. are awful. He seems so uneasy and has been getting into alot of things he never did before. I don't know if it's a sensory issue or not but he has been dumping shampoo or any liquid he can find on the floor and rub his hands in it. He screams his head off when I stop him from doing it. He has been covering his ears as well. He has always covered his ears but now it's happening more. I really have to figure out what is wrong with my boy. We have a doctors appointment next week. I just have to get through to next week and try my best to stay calm, talk calm and not let on that I am upset or he'll become more upset. I sent our helper out to (Miss Tacey) Target to buy 4 cans of shaving cream and more shampoo and bubble bath. I can't help but think this is sensory issue. Poor little kiddo, I hope that this passes soon and he's back to himself. Our schedules haven't changed and we have really done a great job of sticking to our schedules, getting to therapies and being on time.

We hope all of you and your kiddos are doing well, it has been a very hot Summer here in AZ. today we are in 111 degree temp. We Will go for our swim this evening and then stop off at McDonald's for one plain hamburger, a large Diet Dr.Pepper, a Large French Fry, one grilled snack wrap with ranch for Big Brother, one Arctic orange shake for Big Brother and two blue powerades for Adam and K.C.

Very Scary

2008-06-30T16:08:00.002-07:00

We have been swimming alot these days. It's just about the only fun thing to do in Arizona because of the extreme heat. It has been 113 and 111 and tomorrow 110. Too hot for us! We never get used to it even after living here for years.

I have been taking the boys swimming after 8:30 p.m. because we want to avoid questions and stares. I have gotten so many, "what's wrong with your" and "Why isn't he saying anything?" I am tired of explaining and hearing kids laugh at K.C. and Adam when they are excited and flapping or humming. It hurts to hear someone laughing at them and Big Brother feels awfully sad when people do that too. What surprises me the most is that the kids parents just sit there reading a book or talking on their cell phones.

We live on Private Property and it's always been safe for years until last night. The pool is a 7 minute walk for us but having so many pool toys and three boys to keep up with (If Adam runs I know I won't catch him) we always drive the van. We left at about 8:40 p/m/ thinking no one would be at the pool. We were right, some folks were just leaving as we unlocked the pool gate. The boys have alot of fun splashing around freely without any worries. After about 30 minutes I noticed a car pull next to my van. Big Brother watched intently hoping it "wasn't people coming to swim." No body ever came to the pool but I could hear them talking. I walked over to the pool gate quietly to see who it was because I had a nervous gut feeling. I saw four black guys, one guy was leaning against my van and the other guy was staring into my van. I didn't recognize these people and knew they didn't live here because I have been here for years and would have seen them at some point. I knew they were going to steal the van. I was so scared, so very scared. I didn't know if I should just pack up with the boys and walk out the gate. I was scared to do that because if they were trying to steal the van and knew they were caught doing it they might hurt us. So I called 911 and told the operator. I can't even begin to tell you how scared I was having the boys with me. The only thing the reassured me was that we had a key to the pool and they didn't. The operator stayed on the phone with me the whole time, I told her I was scared, I had three boys with me and two were Autistic. She said the officer was only two minutes away. It seemed like forever. I let the boys play but Big Brother was scared because he kept saying, "we won't have a way to go anywhere what are we going to do!!" While I was on the phone with the operator I heard a glass break. I told the operator and she said the officer was coming down the street and I could see his headlights and lights flashing, he caught them before they took the van!! Thank God!! Big Brother ran over to the gate and watched, I called him back over to us and got the boys out of the pool and let another officer in to talk to him. He said the window was broken but that they were caught! I am so grateful that they caught these guys. Can you imagine being without a car/van and having three boys? We are in the van more than home it feels like on therapy days. I got the window to the van fixed today. I still can't believe it. Why do people have to be like that? I just don't get it. The guys who were trying to steal the van looked to be about 20 years old. I told the officer I wanted to leave to get the boys home, they were getting antsy and as we headed out of the gate I heard an officer say, "your name is Levi?" He was talking to the guy who tried to take the van. The guy looked at us as we walked out. I had to say something. I did say something. I said, "thanks alot for breaking our window and trying to steal our van, did you know this van is used to take my Autistic kids to therapies?" He said nothing. I am praying that he thinks about it and changes.

We are all safe and when we got home Big Brother was visibly upset. He gets so hurt when he knows someone "is real bad" or "makes fun of his brother or Adam." I worry about Big Brother alot because he takes things very hard and dwells on them. We will keep talking everyday and I'll give him lots of hugs, he'll start to feel better :) What a world.

Happy Birthday To K.C.

2008-06-27T23:20:00.003-07:00

Happy Birthday to you little buddy! K.C., Adam and Big Brother celebrated today with cake, (just wanted it to be the four of us) special ice cream K.C. could eat if he tried and 2 Amy's frozen pizzas that Big Brother and I put into the oven. Even though K.C. won't touch cake or ice cream (he screams bloody murder) he likes to see the candles flickering. I have learned something or should say I have figured out something that K.C. had been trying to tell me. He covers his ears quite a bit, I used to think it was noise or something I couldn't hear that bothered him. Today as I brought the cake to the table he covered his ears alot. I have figured out that it means, "no cake." Or it just means he doesn't like something.

I bought him three new outfits to wear from Target. As Big Brother "helped" blow out K.C.'s candles we handed him his gifts. His Daddy couldn't be here this birthday :( K.C.'s daddy got him savings bonds and a magna doodle. Big Brother handed him the outfits I had bought him and he opened them very slowly then tried to up and leave but I was able to get him back to the table without him getting too angry. When he touched the clothes he IMMEDIATELY began looking for any tags on the shirts. There were tags of course and he totally lost it when he seen the tags. I hurried upstairs to get the scissors (I keep them hidden just in case) and came back down and cut the tags out of the clothes. He was just too angry and it was the kind of angry that I call, "too late he's not going to come back from this one" kind of a anger or frustration. I brought him into the living room away from Adam and Big Brother. Big Brother kept calling, "Mom I am going to cut the cake for us." I let him cut the cake but told him not to annihilate the cake and to use a butter knife. He cut a piece for Adam but he didn't touch it. Adam is pretty much skin and bones:( He just wants waffles all the time. K.C. was still angry but he was crying now and not screaming, a good sign.

I did manage to leave him in the living room and put waffles into the toaster for Adam. When K.C. is in the no turning back mood I don't leave him alone because he will beat himself in the head or hit his head on the floor. It never came to that today and he did pull himself together. I was so proud of Adam because he STAYED at the table with Big Brother the whole time (even through K.C.'s screaming)! Big Hugs for Adam and K.C. :) Even though it may have seemed kind of disaster it really wasn't. Both boys did a wonderful job of keeping it together and I am still so surprised at Adam as I sit here. He surprises me alot. I have found that K.C. and Adam are helping each other in many ways but don't realize it. Like the way K.C. is helping himself more, like the way Adam stayed at the table while I stayed with K.C. Somehow I really feel they totally relate to when they see each other having a very hard time. For them to see that there are other kids that are experiencing the same sort of things that they experience themselves really helps if that makes any sense.

K.C. did sit back down at the table to eat pizza and drink a mango fruit drink. Big Brother and I kept quiet for awhile because we know that when K.C. is pulling it together any words during the pulling it together period will set him off. We talked after about 10 minutes quietly.

I thought to myself I wonder if I should have just put the candles in the pizza? Now I have all this cake left over. I will have to take it to my sister and give some to Linh Linh. I would have invited Linh to K.C.'s party but she has always been a little afraid of K.C. I asked her about him and she said she was scared of him.
It was a good day all in all. I can see changes in the boys and it's real positive :)

Tomorrow is Saturday and I will be going to pick my Dad up and take him to synagogue. Miss Tacey will stay with the boys for a couple hours. My little reporter (Big Brother) is always watching to be sure nobody is mean to Adam or K.C.

It has been triple digits here so most of the time we try to stay out of the hot sun.
It will not cool off here until December :(

Getting Away...

2008-06-19T13:31:00.004-07:00

Twice a year my little brother Adam would go to Carlsbad CA. with my Mom and Dad to visit the ocean. My Parents have had a timeshare there for a few years. My brother has always loved walking on the beach and my Mom would look forward to the 6 hour drive to Carlsbad and mostly the gorgeous weather.

My Father as I mentioned before is living in assisted living. He reminded us that it "was our turn" for the timeshare. It was very hard to think of getting away without my Mom with us. My Dad didn't want to go but really wanted us to go because Adam loves the beach so much. I thought about it. Thought alot about it and decided to go. Maybe this is just what the boys need, to get away from everything and clear their minds.

So it would be me, Adam, K.C., Big Brother, College Boy and our helper, Miss Tacey. We planned to stay for 4 days so I had alot of packing to do for the boys. We have worked out a pretty good system of doing things since Miss Tacey has moved in to help us. She has been wonderful. She knows so much about Autism and I can truly see that she cares about the boys in her eyes. "My little reporter" has only said positive things about her and my gut feeling is good. Miss Tacey helps with K.C. and Big Brother. I am always with Adam because I don't want anyone getting pinched or scratched no matter how much experience he or she has with Autism. I love Adam dearly and understand why he pinches. He has been doing wonderfully and hasn't been pinching very much these days. K.C. has really made some huge changes since Adam has joined the family. Having a teen with Autism is tough but having a teen without Autism is tough too. K.C. seems to have more confidence and has learned to do more for himself. I have seen K.C. watching Adam out of the corners of his eyes and I really believe that he loves Adam.

It took 6 1/2 hours to get to Carlsbad and the boys Daddy met up with us there. Daddy has been staying mostly in San Francisco because of his job. We all met up and began unpacking our stuff into the room. K.C. did have a big smile on his face when he saw his Daddy waiting for us, Big Brother was thrilled so much because I kept it secret from him. He had no idea that his Daddy would be meeting us there so he was a happy kiddo! Adam looked anxious when he saw the boys Daddy. I guess that next time I really need to show him a photo of the boys Daddy so that he knows what to expect when we arrive. I just thought it would be a nice surprise for Big Brother and K.C.
We all planned to eat at an outdoors Mexican restaurant. We really wanted to be outdoors because of the boys, "just in case." The weather was so nice so sitting outside was a real treat. When we left home it was 113 degrees, 6 hours later it was only 72 degrees when we got to Cali. K.C. ate flour tortillas with nothing on them, just heated and crispy. Big Brother ate Carne Asada and Adam ate a cheese crisp (made very crispy for Adam and only cheese) K.C. eyeballed Adam's cheese crisp and snatched at it twice. K.C. can't have real cheese because of allergies. The boys did a super duper job eating and were such young gentlemen. We only got a few stares because of the noises that Adam and K.C. make. The two of them together generate alot of hums and screeches, "my little orchestra."

When we were all finished eating we walked to the beach. The ocean was just so awesome and immediately I could see how at peace Adam was with the water. He watched the water roll in and out and was mesmerized by it just as K.C. was. Big Brother ran all around the beach collecting shells and anything unusual looking. He did find a really beautiful shell his daddy put a small hole in and made a necklace out of it for him.

It was a really nice trip and I only wish we lived near the ocean for the boys sake. It was wonderful seeing all the boys love the ocean equally and they all were doing pretty much the same things and loving every minute of it.

We got up early everyday around 7 a.m. and walked down to the beach to watch the surfers surf. It was quite foggy on the beach in the mornings.
I feel I have really connected with Adam. I am understanding him more and more each and everyday and couldn't imagine him living anywhere else ever. I can get some smiles out of him and it's such a great feeling.

I just want all the boys to be happy.

Every day I think of my Mother, I miss her so much. I see Adam's eyes and think of my Mom. It's hard being without my Mother, I still keep thinking, "oh I can't wait to tell Mom about...." then I realise that I can't.

Each day is hard but at the same time it's getting a tiny bit easier with each day that goes by. It's hard to explain.

My Mom had always asked that I never put any photos of Adam up on the Internet. She didn't like me putting photos up of Big Brother or K.C. for that matter. She was always very nervous about having any photos of the kids on the Internet so I will always remember how she felt and will never post photos of Adam.

Things are always very busy here, I am just so grateful that I have found such nice people to help with the boys. I am so grateful that College Boy helps us so much.
Monday K.C.'s support coordinator is coming for his ISP visit. There will be some big changes coming up in August in regards to his school and therapies.

In July K.C. and Adam both will be participating in a study of Fluoxetine (Prozac). It is suppose to help with repetitive behaviors. There will be nine visits and it is about 14 weeks long. They will have to get an EKG and blood work done. I am hoping it helps the boys.

Some photos from the trip and a video of K.C.

I have help

2008-05-27T07:44:00.004-07:00

Hi Everyone,

It's been awhile since I last blogged, I hope everyone is doing well and want to say sorry for not stopping by lately.

Life has been so busy here. Having 3 boys keeps you on your toes, things are settling down a bit and we have finally fallen into a good routine for therapies and school.

This Sunday we went to visit my father. He has decided to move into an assisted living community so that he can have help but still have his freedom.

I worried the night before how Adam was going to react to seeing our Dad in a new place. I worried that K.C. was going to see Adam upset and cry. I did everything I possibly could the week before to prepare both boys for the trip to see Dad/Grandpa.

I went to Wide World of Maps and got the photos of my Dad laminated since Adam will eat/chew on a regular photo if it's not laminated. He also has chewed a fairly big hole in the seat of the van. I am taking him to the doctor Thursday to discuss his eating problems. He is so skinny, I can't really get him to eat much, only Eggo Waffles. Morning, Noon and Night, Eggo Waffles. It's tough to get him to try something new as well. The problem is he'll eat things that are NOT food easily but won't eat real food for me.

Our trip went well. Big Brother held K.C.'s hand and I stayed within arms reach of Adam. He's fast, faster than I am, K.C. I can catch but Adam is like greased lightening. When we walked into Dad's new home Adam pinched me. I knew he was nervous being in a new place. I was even nervous myself, biting my nails, Adam pinches instead of biting his nails. Everyone does something when they are nervous. K.C. made a beeline for the DVD player my father has. My Dad smiled for the first time in a long time. He went to Adam and gave him a big hug, I watched Adam, he did everything he could not to make any eye contact with my father. He is this way with everyone. K.C. has poor eye contact but Adam has virtually no eye contact. I do catch him peering out of the corners of his eyes alot and I'll say, "is that a smile I see, did I see those eyes?" Sometimes I will see a grin from him and I know he is happy when I say that because he sticks around. Even though K.C. and Adam are both non verbal, their body language and actions say almost as much a words could. I love the boys dearly and feel so lucky to have them. Each day I pray I am making a difference in their lives. Sitting with the boys and doing an activity with them or reading with them makes me very happy. Some days are very tough days, then there are the good days. We have more good days that tough ones.

Taking Adam to places that my Mom used to take him to is tough. It's tough because nearly every time I take him I always hear how much they miss my Mom and I know Adam hears it. I miss her terribly but I don't think it's good to bring it up every time. He hears and has feelings, I asked his therapists not to mention my Mom's name so much in front of Adam before a therapy session begins. I just want him to be able to get the most out of each session without any sad thoughts.

K.C. has been doing well and has even started to do more things for himself since Adam is with us. The truth is, sometimes Adam needs more help than K.C. and I get wrapped up with Adam and K.C. will try to do for himself. I feel badly about this sometimes but my sister says she thinks "it's great!"

Big Brother is my "little reporter" these days. He helps me so much, this little boy is an awesome kiddo. He will be going to 2ND grade in August, Adam goes to a private Autism school and K.C. will be going there in August as well.

I have started to search for a part time Nanny. I could use the extra help on certain days, shopping days, doctors appointments and Big Brother had a violin recital I barley made it too. My sister helps a bit but not very much. She's young and constantly on the go. Another change I made was I hired a part time cleaning company to come in twice a week to do the heavy cleaning for us and it has made a huge difference! I have more time for the boys and I feel so much better knowing I have the extra time with them. I love spending as much time with them as possible. Family is so important, I realize this even more now that my Mother is gone. When I do find a Nanny I will have her references thoroughly checked out and a fingerprint/background check as well. I will certainly use a Nanny Cam and would not even consider having a Nanny without one. My "little reporter" will be watching intently, if he sees or hears anything that worries him he'll report it.

I will be stopping by to visit everyone soon, I hope you kiddos are all well and that you are doing good too. Thank you for all of your support, it means the world to us.

Slowly but surely.

2008-05-03T10:52:00.002-07:00

It has been a challenging week for our family. I am so heartbroken, I miss my Mother so very much. I haven't had time to cry. I have been so busy with the boys, it is good that I have been so busy or I would sit and think all day long and cry. It is so hard, I keep thinking I can pick the phone up and call her during the day, I don't know why I keep doing that.

How all three boys are doing.

My little Brother (Adam) is trying very hard. He was with my Mom always and it is has been very rough on him. The four days of having Adam at our house was tough, bless his heart, it has to be so confusing for him and horrible for him. He hit me all week but thankfully didn't hit K.C. or Big Brother. He's a teenager so his hits are much different than a smaller kiddos. The last time he hit me he was pacing the floors in front of the door, my Dad talked to Adam, I don't know if he understands completely that Mom is gone because he is always looking and pacing as if he's going to go somewhere or someone may be coming. The last time hit me he hit me hard, I feel horrible but I yelled at him, I told him that I missed Mom too and that he had to stop hitting me, I told him I miss her too again to be sure he understood. His hands dropped down as if I said the right thing. I really feel we have made a connection, I know he understood me, I could feel it. Things will get better but we all have been through so much it is going to be a long time before things are "back to the way they were, as Big Brother asked me. I want to make a collection of my Mom and Adams photos and go through them with him at bedtime or whenever he has the book and tell him what's happening in each picture. I have a very strong feeling he would want me to talk about Mom and show him photos but I am not sure if it's right for Adam or not. His hands did drop down and he did stop hitting when I said, "I miss her too." Maybe he wants me to talk about her? I am trying very very hard to read into Adam. He's non verbal and communicates with grunts, screams and pulling my hand and putting it on what he wants if he can't get into it himself. I talked to Adam's therapists and we all agreed that the sooner we have him back in school and back to his schedule the better. He has been going back to school and things are getting better. I even managed to get him enrolled in an Autism Summer Camp where his therapist that works with him now will go along with him as long as their expenses are paid.

K.C. has had a rough time with so many changes. When I brought my brother home with us, Adam REFUSED to ride in our car. He has been in our car before and I am not sure why he didn't want to be in it this time. My Dad said to take my Mom's van and use it for Adam. Sure enough he hopped right in. Only problem was that K.C. REFUSED to ride in my Mom's van. He screamed, fell to the ground and I wanted to cry. After 20 minutes I finally got him in the van and we all left. I felt sad driving my Mom's van, thought about what she might have been thinking when she drove with my brother, about Autism. Did she ever cry when she drove? It's hard to be in the van but for now it is helping with the boys and they are getting used to riding together. I did something I never thought I would do, when I enrolled Adam in summer camp I asked K.C.'s therapist that tutors him at home if they would go to Summer camp with K.C. One agreed to! I can send K.C. this Summer and not worry as much as if he knew no one there. It will be a first for K.C. and I think it will help him with socialization skills. Just being in a group of kiddos that are his age. I will be able to spend time with Big Brother who has been very quiet lately. It is all overwhelming for him, he is now the middle boy, sees the big changes and maybe he feels lonely having two boys in the house who won't play with him. I did get him to smile yesterday, my brother was in the living room with us, he has a very long chewy tube, it's more like a long clear thin hose type thing, I always tell him what my Mom used to tell him, "Adam the hose is in your mouth, not on the floor." He drags it on the ground when it's not in his mouth. I don't know where my Mom got it but he has had it for a long time and it goes where he goes. K.C. tried to snatch it away from Adam and I made K.C. give it back to Adam because it is Adam's and he needs it. K.C. threw a huge fit that he didn't get the tube. Big Brother said, "now K.C. knows how it feels!" I said, "what do you mean?" He says, "he has always been first, now K.C. is second and Adam is first, I guess I will always be third." I looked at him and said, "hmmmm, well it's better that being fourth!" He said, "who's fourth?" I told him, "me ya big dummy!" That gave him a fit of the giggles. I am glad he is smiling again.

My Mom is gone and my heart will always be sad because she's not here, but I can tell you having these boys with me and seeing them smile makes my heart happy. It is going to be a challenge but I am determined to give each of them the best, happiest lives possible.

I have learned something from my Mom that she did for Adam since she found out he was Autistic years ago. She saved for him, had life insurance so that when she did pass he would be well cared for for his lifetime. She always knew the right things to do. I talked with our family lawyer and he said because of my Mom, Adam, me and the boys would be able to make it without worrying about money. I wondered all these years when my Mom said, "if anything ever happens to me you will have to take care of your brother." I always said, "I know." I Never thought it would happen even though I knew my Mom was sick. She knew I would be able to care for them, I understand things more now.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers, I don't really have any friends that stop by our house. I feel very blessed to have all of you and to be able to talk about my feelings here on the blog.

My Mother

2008-04-23T12:56:00.002-07:00

My Mother passed away last night. She has had many health problems but I never thought she would go so suddenly. The Shivah begins today and I am going to pick relatives up from the airport, some are coming from Illinois and some from Israel. I miss my Mother so much. There was so many things I should have told her but can't cause she's gone. Growing up my Mother always said, "you have to take care of your little brother if anything happens to me." "He's you brother, he's family." My Dad has so many health problems as well. He won't be able to care for my brother. My brother will be living with me and the boys. I don't know if I can handle it but have to no matter what for my Mother. My brother is self injurious and profoundly Autistic. Having two kids with Autism and Big Brother will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am scared to death. My brother is a teenager and he's a strong guy but still like a 4 year old. He has a alot of help and I have to start gathering all his therapists names and try to work out having two take kids to therapies which scares me cause everything is overwhelming. How will I keep homeschooling K.C.? I am trying to to think ahead because already my brother knows things have changed and K.C. knows everything is different, K.C. has been hard to handle with so many changes, it is hard, I know he's feeling sad and confused just like all of us and so is my brother. Big Brother is scared to see his grandma one last time today, my Daddy hasn't left my mother since last night and will stay with her til she is buried today. Big Brother has picked out a beautiful rock to place on top of where she is buried. Please pray for us, we need strength, we need all of your thoughts and prayers. Please let your loved ones know how much you love them and how much you need them. My Mother and I didn't get along very well all the years and I just wish I could tell her I am sorry and I love her.

After 3 weeks and 2 days.....

2008-04-05T15:00:00.005-07:00

After 3 weeks and 2 day of practicing with his ABA teacher, K.C. is an official bike rider! I never, ever thought it would be possible. Could my severely Autistic child who has no language do something a complexed as riding a bike? The answer is a big, "YES!" K.C.'s ABA teacher and I have been going outside with him and his bike each sessions through each week. We got him to sit on the bike fairly easily but could not get him to pedal or "push" with his feet. I got on my knees beside him and manipulated his feet each and everyday. His ABA instructor came up with a better idea, to stand away from him and hold his super favorite video in the air while he sat on the bike. I didn't let him get off the bike to run to get the dvd. Instead I manipulated his legs each time. Some days he was totally ticked off and wouldn't go near the bike. We just kept at it for three weeks, two days. He finally pushed his feet to get to his dvd! We cheered him on each and everyday even for the tiniest attempts, I really believe it kept him motivated to learn.

Now we have been riding (Big Brother and K.C.) through our neighborhood with me along side of K.C. He doesn't know about any safety rules such a the stop sign or looking for cars at all. Maybe it will come with time, I have printed stop signs off the Internet and we are working with his ABA instructor on that.

I am still amazed, I never thought this was even possible at all. Lately K.C. has proven everyone wrong. I am thrilled. It is hard work but just look at him go! He's focused and looks relaxed. I cheer him on and I know he hears me but he doesn't smile back, he's very focused on riding. The best part is that he has no time to stim. His hands have to be on the handle bars and his feet moving. Big Brother is totally happy that he, "has a friend to ride with!" He really feels very happy.

Our inspiration is Charlie from, http://www.autismvox.com. This young man is also Autistic and an excellent bike rider. He's such an inspiration, I'll admit had it not been for me reading about Charlie and his bike riding and Autism I may have never thought it possible for K.C. Thank you Charlie for being such an awesome kiddo!

This is K.C. riding his bike like a pro after 3 weeks and 2 days!

Now if we could just get him to wear a helmet!

My Feelings - Autism The Musical

2008-03-31T10:42:00.004-07:00

On March 29Th (Saturday) we took K.C., Big Brother and my niece Linh Linh to an Autism Picnic. We go every year, it's a very nice event for the children, there are volunteers from Easter Seals, Guthrie and Valley Of The Sun helping the kiddos with Autism have fun.

Last year at the picnic K.C. watched his brother have fun. This year K.C. bounced in the inflated bouncers with his Big Brother! When K.C. first tried to get into the bouncer he couldn't stand. There were too many children in the bouncer and he was getting knocked around. I must have had an extreme look of worry on my face because the girls who were helping the kids in the bouncer shouted to the children, "two more minutes and everyone out." Then the girl turned to me and said, "when the children get out of the bouncer we will let him bounce alone for 2 minutes." I couldn't believe it. I almost cried knowing someone wanted to give K.C. a chance to have fun - alone!

My dear friend Lora at, http://griffinblaise.blogspot.com sent me a link to watch an Autism Musical online. Here is the link to the musical if you want to watch it, http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/autism/video
When I watched the musical it gave me alot of mixed emotions. I thought about the musical for a few days after, then yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks. In one scene in the musical there are a group of Parents sitting in a room talking about their children. One Mommy said that she felt that her daughter wasn't valued as a human being because of her Autism. The Mommy was very sad, crying knowing that in this world there are people she felt didn't value her daughter because of the Autism. Another scene in the movie was of a beautiful teenage girl typing on the computer. Her Mommy asked her, "what is Autism?" The girl typed, "damaging." The girl looked sad, very sad. You really have to watch the film to know what I am talking about.

I thought about K.C. I have thought alot these past three days. Does K.C. feel he's damaged? I wonder if he's happy? Does he know he's Autistic? Does he feel people don't value him because of his Autism? I thought alot about these things. I cried and cried. I prayed I have never done anything to make K.C. feel "damaged" or "not valued." I have never seen him this way ever. As a matter of fact if someone said he was "damaged" there would be some serious words coming out of my mouth at the person.

I talked to the boys Daddy and he said, "maybe that's they way the little girl felt." "It isn't how everyone feels." Still, I am doing everything I can each and every day so that K.C. feels loved, valued and happy with the way he is. It breaks me heart to think if K.C. was feeling sad. That is the parts of the musical I didn't like at all. I know that they were just the was the folks felt at the time but still, it hurts.

I watched the rest of the musical and thought the director did an amazing job with the children. I was very happy that the musical included non verbal kiddos as well. The children looked very proud of their accomplishments at the end of the musical. The Parents were thrilled and very proud for the kiddos. It was a good musical, I guess that it was a sort of awakening for me.

While we were at the picnic, K.C. did something I thought was amazing. When we have been taking him out, in public, he usually has his hands in his mouth, flaps and finger flicks. We have been working on having him hold his own hands together. In the video you can see K.C. waiting for his Big Brother to get off the train. He gets antsy but has his hands together! Just look at the beginning of the video! He does a great job, it's a first that we have seen him trying to keep it together with what we have been teaching him. His ABA teacher was thrilled for K.C. when I played the video. I am so proud of him too. Sorry the video is so grainy, I didn't have the usual camera that day :(

Skateboards

2008-03-21T14:25:00.004-07:00

I have been taking Big Brother to the skatepark since last Summer. He has learned so quickly, the last time we went there was a kiddo standing at the edge of the ramp trying to find the courage to go down. It's steep and kinda scary. This little boy was 10 years old, (Big Brother asked.) Big Brother wanted to help this kiddo, he encouraged him so much.

Out of all the children in the skatepark almost NONE wore helmets.

K.C. has also been going to the skatepark since last year, just watching his brother. Well today was different! I always bring 2 skateboards just in case Big Brothers busts one. K.C. took one out of my hands and tried to make it up a mini ramp. We helped him up and he sat on the skateboard and went down on his butt! He loved it totally! Now, I have to get this little boy a helmet! Looks like we are going to have two skater boys in the family!

(The t shirt that K.C. is wearing is College Boys. I don't let him wear shirts like that usually. What happened was as I was getting him dressed the shrit was inside out, I went to get another and he had a major fit, so I let him wear it, gotta pick your battles I guess :)

The shirt says, "stop bitching and start a revolution." The kids at the skatepark liked the shirt in fact, 4 kids came up to K.C. and said, "hey little dude I like your shirt."

The first video is Big Brother skating. The second is my little K.C. doing his own version of skating! Go K.C.!

Big Changes

2008-03-18T19:48:00.005-07:00

As many of you may already know, I have been waiting for the day when K.C. will give Mommy a kiss. I am happy to say, I got that kiss! He did it! We were taking pictures (Big Brother the photographer) and I leaned in and said, "give me kiss." I have said it a million times to K.C. and didn't expect him to give me one but he did. He leaned in and put his puckered lips on my forehead! Big Brother just stood there in amazement and immediately said, "give me a kiss K.C., give brother a kiss!" Well K.C. didn't, probably because of the commotion his kiss did cause, lots of hugs and lots of praising him. Can you guys believe it? I felt such a strong connection, he really does love his Mommy, it was amazing, lots of happy tears.

I have seen some very big changes since taking K.C. out of school. He seems so much more relaxed, happier and not anxious. No headbanging at all! I never thought I'd say that, no headbanging!

The best part about homeschooling K.C. is that I get to spend time with him. I don't have to constantly worry about him being at that school. I wish I could have kept him there, I wanted to keep him in school, but it just didn't work out in the end.

Some things that K.C. has learned in this short time at home are, he can match colors into groups, (still doesn't understand, "give me yellow" but if you sign the colors he seems to get it better. He successfully matched 4 times last week with signing the colors along with saying the color. He also can sort objects (any objects) by sizes into groups, he is really good at it.
We have been working with learning to use scissors as well. He doesn't like me holding his hands but I really think he's going to pick this skill up soon.

We got a "Service Plan" through the district. It means that even though K.C. isn't in school the district is still going to pay for some services. I could pick, Speech, OT, etc. but the thing is I could pick only 1 service. I picked help from a Tutor. So a Tutor comes out to our house to work with K.C. I asked the tutor to work with him with holding a pencil hand over hand to write his name. The reason I asked for help in this area is because this is the area that K.C. gets frustrated with the most. He does get frustrated but the good thing is we can stop for a bit, call him back to the table and work some more. Taking breaks has helped tremendously. He is always willing to come back to the table. I am happy that we can give him a break, let him play a bit and then have him come back. I remember his teacher saying, "I only have so many hours in the day." I think this is why he got so frustrated, he could sense it from her, now that it's gone, he's doing better. If he's stimming I don't stop him, it has helped to calm him and get him through. I just have to be careful not to let stim too long.

I have been working extra hard with potty training too. I have figured out when he is most likely to be wet during the day by writing down what times I change diapers. It is always just about the same, around 8:30 a.m., 11:00, 1:00 p.m., 4:00 and 6:00 p.m. At night he's definitely in diapers. He's been going pee most of the time I take him to the bathroom. We have had lots of accidents but they are becoming less and less. I am so proud of him! When he does have an accident it's really important to not let K.C. know that it upsets you in any way. Using a calm voice is working wonders.

Three days a week I have been taking him to parks, we see mostly toddlers there with the their parents but he's still getting to be around other kids. He still won't play with them or even look their way. I want to take him to the library soon, we are going to take it slow.

Big Brother is in school :) Actually it's Spring Break, here all this week and he's at home. Tomorrow we are going to go to the skate park.

Passover is just around the corner, this year will be different. I really think K.C. may sit just a little longer. We are surely going to try and if it doesn't work out I will let Big Brother stay with my Parents and I will take K.C. home.

I want to thank Melinda from Dear Noah, http://www.dearnoah.blogspot.com. She has helped us with starting homeschooling, provided us with super good links and wonderful ideas to help K.C. Thank you so much Melinda and Noah. Thanks to everyone for your support, it means so much to us.

We hope you are all well and the kiddos are well too :)

The Flu

2008-02-26T17:28:00.006-07:00

Hello to everyone, we have all had the flu. Three weeks of the flu to be exact. Big Brother, K.C. and I were so darned sick, Big Brother had to go to the ER for an I.V. because he was so dehydrated. The good news is we are all feeling better, finally!

I have alot of catching up to do!

We didn't do a whole lot of homeschooling for K.C. over the three week period because he was just too sick. We are working now for short periods of time. He has a very short attention span, he looks away alot and it is hard to tell how much is sinking in because his little face doesn't give my any clues. But we won't give up! I really believe repetition will be the key to helping K.C. learn. He is much happier these days since I have taken him out of school. Not one head banging incident, not one!

We have also been going for walks, the weather has been really nice. It was 77 degrees today and tomorrow it will be 81. I really have to watch K.C. very closely when we are outside. When he starts walking he never looks back. In fact he really doesn't even stop when walking, full speed ahead for this boy. I posted a short video of him getting ready for our walk. He doesn't wait for no one, just shuffles away. Big Brother calls him "a little shuffler" because of his walk. Do you guys think he shuffles when he walks? I agree with Big Brother, he's a shuffler. It's a cute walk. The voice you hear in the background is Big Brother playing ball with a neighbor kiddo. K.C. didn't get far, towards the end of the video you can see Big Brother's shadow coming into the video heading him off.

Big Brother is feeling better, this afternoon he asked if he could get a haircut at Fantastic Sam's so off we went. K.C. did a good job waiting for his Big Brother to get a haircut a sat on the floor and played with the toys they had there. We were the only customers thankfully. K.C. will not play if another kiddo comes along. He'll just get up and walk away. Big Brother got another Mohawk. He loves Mohawks and to be honest, he hasn't had one for quite awhile and I missed seeing it.

We hope you are all well and I'll be catching up soon!

What's best for K.C.

2008-02-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

(K.C. 6 1/2 and his Big Brother 7 1/2 years old)

I have finally made a decision regarding the SMD classroom. The stress that this has brought on us is just too much. I have decided to keep K.C. home, home school him. On Monday I am getting all the necessary paperwork together (affidavit) and getting it notarized (the homeschooling paperwork). I did talk to the districts lead Psychologist and we are going to have a meeting for a Service Plan for K.C. A Service Plan is services the district still must provide K.C. even though he's home schooled. The good thing about the Service Plan is I get to choose which two services I'd like for K.C. to have, the ones I feel are most important. So when he gets these services I will be going with him while he is having for example, O.T., Speech etc. whichever ones I feel are most important. It's just a huge relief to not have to deal with the school system anymore. Maybe he's just not ready for public school yet.

He is still receiving O.T. and Speech therapy outside of school and one session of ABA at home each day.

We have alot of planning to do when it comes to academics, but I really feel this is going to be what is best for K.C.

Big Brother has been doing fine these days. He's been reading alot about Spiders (mostly the poisonous ones.) Tomorrow he's going to go back to the library and sit at one of the little tables and read. He loves the library, he likes to sit in the kids section and I have even noticed that he'll really watch what the other children are doing. He sure does want to have a friend. He has been talking about making a friend and how to do it. It will happen, he's such a caring little guy, I know he'll make friends soon.

The Superbowl is being played in AZ. and the supermarkets have been packed with visitors from New York (mostly I have seen N.Y. visitors) I am not a big football fan but like to watch the commercials! Hope everyone is doing well :)

The Meeting

2008-01-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

I really want to thank everyone for their advice before I went into this meeting.

There were 6 at the meeting, his teacher, me, psychologist, (smd classroom teacher who has been observing K.C.) mediator and our division of developmental disabilities case manger (long term care).

1. K.C. has regressed in nearly every I.E.P. goal that we created for him as a team.

2. K.C.'s self injurious behaviors are becoming so frequent that his teacher "only has so many teaching hours in a day to teach and his behaviors are going longer and he is apparently "lasting longer than the teacher has minutes to teach in a day."

3. He needs more help than they can provide him in his current program.

4. The program they want him in is for Severely Mentally Disabled students or "lowest functioning."

I have been crying all day long. Everyone at the meeting seemed to agree with each other that this program would be best for K.C. I didn't agree, in fact, I signed nothing, only the form that everyone signs to show who is in attendance.

I need time to think. K.C. is not mentally disabled he's Autistic, I repeated that over and over. He's almost 7 years old, he's just a little boy for Gods sake. I keep questioning myself, does Autism mean he's mentally retarded? I hope I don't sound totally ignorant. On his I.E.P. forms they have him listed as Autistic/Mentally Retarded.

I am not doing a very good job of advocating for K.C. Everything is becoming so overwhelming. I just need time to think it through. If I leave K.C. in his current program I am afraid he'll learn nothing. I think they have gave up on him and want him in the smd program.

Tomorrow I am going to visit this classroom. I am going to be totally honest, I am scared. Scared for K.C. In the back of my mind I had always hoped K.C. would be able to lead a good life as long as we did everything in our power to help him. I want him to have a good life, be happy, healthy. Now I am thinking maybe I have been trying to put the thought that yes, maybe K.C. will be very handicapped for the rest of his life. I may never hold a conversation with him, when I think of these things I feel like I am giving in to that life for K.C. so I put them in the back of my mind and try to think as positive as possible. Have I been lying to myself all along? Has everyone else seen K.C. differently all along, different that I see him? I see hope, he's smart, he loves us and I see him learning. Maybe not what the school expects, but I see him learning in life skills. He is making efforts to try to put a sock on his foot, he will go to the bathroom sink and if I stand behind him and tell him, "first we wash hands before we eat." He will put his hands under the water! I can then tell him, "dry hands", he will then walk to the towel and dry his hands! He really is doing so many wonderful things at home, many things. In fact his s.i.b.s. haven't been happening at home as much as his teacher says they happen at school.

I was so upset at the meeting I didn't even say half of the things I wanted to say. I felt like I was going to cry every time I had to speak.

Thank you

2008-01-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your comments/advice. I appreciate it very much and feel better knowing that I ask the right questions.
Still not 100% sure on the SMD and what it stands for. It could be, Severely Multiply Disabled or Severely Mentally Disabled.

Need Advice Before Meeting On Wednesday..

2008-01-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

We have been having some issues with K.C.'s current Autism Program at school. I've kept quiet about K.C.'s school days these days. His teacher phoned me on Friday so that we can set up a meeting at the district office. I requested a "mediator" be at the meeting as well.

K.C.'s teacher feels that his current program "isn't a good fit" and "would benefit greatly being placed in a new program." She says she has K.C.'s best interest at heart.

The new program is called a SMD Program. I have not a clue as to what those letters stand for, I tried googling them but STILL haven't been able to figure out what SMD means. I see SMD but that's about it. I need help before going to this meeting, the phone call I received on Friday was a late call so I haven't been able to ask more questions because it's the weekend.

Anyone heard of this program? I did ask his teacher if children with Autism were in the program (just to be certain) and she said, "absolutely."

I need advice.

Thanks.

I have heard it all....

2008-01-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

We have a disabled placard for our car. I hang it from our rear view mirror. We have had it for over a year now, we use it only when we have K.C. in the car with us. It's for his safety, has helped us tremendously when he's in extreme headbanging meltdown mode to get him to the car quicker. When we first decided to get that placard I had to really think on it for over a month. Seriously, I felt very guilty knowing that K.C. didn't have a physical disability and that we would be taking a spot away from someone who did have a physical disability.

I mentioned this to my Mom (who also has a placard for my brother) and she came by our house the next day. She had just come from the DMV with the form that needed to be completed by the Doctor for the placard. Our next visit I took the form, the Pediatrician filled it out and I took it to DMV. We got our placard.

My Mom said we need the placard. She reminded me of K.C.'s seizures. She said what if we needed to get out of the store quickly because he might have a seizure? We have learned that when K.C. is very quiet and very spacey a seizure isn't far away.

We went to the store yesterday to pick up a prescription, I had both boys with me. As I parked, I noticed a car pull into the spot next to us, in the disabled spot. Big Brother got out of the car first and I walked around to unfasten K.C. As we all walked together to enter the store I heard a mans voice say, "you folks aren't handicapped! Get out of that spot!" I turned and noticed that the person who parked next to us must have actually waited for us to exit to see if we were "handicapped." I stopped with the boys and said, "sir, my son is disabled, we have a placard hanging in our car." I pointed toward the rear view mirror. I looked at Big Brothers face and he looked furious, I knew if we didn't hurry into the store he was going to open his mouth and he wasn't going to say something nice. The whole time K.C. stood there like a good little boy just watching the parking lot. I noticed people started staring a bit at the old man confronting us. The old man said this, "where's his wheelchair!" Then "the mouth" I sometimes call him said, "you dummy, disabled doesn't always mean your legs!" I squeezed Big Brothers hand to let him know to shut it. I started to apologize to the old man for Big Brothers remark (I felt badly because this man was old, very old and there was know way I was going to disrespect him) then, I hear a roarous laugh coming from the old man complete with coughing (Big Brother said, "oh my God Mommy he's gonna die.") I started laughing, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. We just kept walking into the store and left the old man there to laugh. I think he was laughing at either being called a "dummy" or he realized how ignorant he was and for realizing a 7 year old was right.

I had a long talk with Big Brother about respecting his elders and have told him numerous times "when the adults are talking he is being quiet." Well sometimes they don't listen, but I can honestly say I was glad he did speak up. Maybe we all learned something about the word "disabled" and what it means to different people.

Love from K.C.

2008-01-12T01:14:00.000-07:00

(K.C. has been twisting his little fingers in all kinds of positions these days, looks kinda painful but he's happy in this picture)

There has been a very icky brown ring around the city this week. K.C. has had Asthma problems all week and we have been back and forth to the doctors office twice this week. The first time we went K.C. couldn't take more than 10 steps without wheezing and coughing up a storm. The doctor listened to his lungs and said she heard crackling and wheezing. She gave him a shot of Solumedrol (steroid) to help him breath. We have been using the nebulizer at home but K.C. is terrified of the noise it makes. If only it didn't make that loud noise! Big Brother and I have been setting the little machine up when K.C. falls asleep. We set it on the floor and cover the nebulizer with a heavy quilt to hide the sound. You can still hear it but not nearly as much if it were left uncovered. We hold the mask as close to his nose/mouth as we can, so far it is working and I am very relieved. Tonight he has started to feel better, finally. It's nice to see his smiling face again. He knew he didn't feel well because he would walk as little as possible. He has been on the couch most the week.

I am amazed at Big Brother. This little boy does so much on his own I feel badly sometimes. He asked for an alarm clock and actually gets up in the morning himself, gets his uniform on and makes a bowl of cereal or oranges for breakfast. I watched him this morning and sat with him as he ate his cereal. He said, "mom you can go back to sleep until it's time for me to go." I nearly lost it. I wanted to cry. I felt horrible that my 7 year old has become so independent because he has a brother with Autism. I just feel like I am not giving him nearly as much attention as I do K.C. I admit, K.C. takes up alot of my time and Big Brother always winds up helping me / or doing things for himself. It shouldn't be this way I keep telling myself. I talked to Big Brother about it during breakfast and he said he was worried that I wasn't getting any sleep because K.C. has been sick this week. He then said, "it's o.k. Mom, I'm not Autistic I can help myself." I didn't hear any resentment in his voice at all but still I feel awful. Some days I feel like Big Brother is missing out on typical childhood things because he has a brother with Autism. He's had to grow up quickly. Has anyone experienced what I am feeling? I would love to hear from you :)

Big Brother loves K.C. dearly and I know that K.C. loves Big Brother. You should have seen Big Brothers face tonight. Both boys took a bath together, Big Brother always tries to get him to play in the bubbles but K.C. always turns away from him so most of the bath time is spent with Big Brother looking at K.C.'s back. Big Brother makes a fake beard with the bubbles and wears it on his chin trying to get K.C. to laugh. As I wrapped K.C. up in a towel to get him dressed, Big Brother is always getting dressed right beside us as well. Tonight as Big Brother finished getting dressed ahead of us he sat on the floor and we talked as I dressed K.C. Then out of the blue, K.C. leans over and touches the top of Big Brother's head. He's not looking at Big Brother but he's just touching the top of his head very lightly, I swear it looked like he was trying to show him affection! I seen it, I really did. Big Brother didn't move an inch. You should have seen the smile on his face! K.C. giggled a little bit then took his hand away. Big Brother said, "did you see him, he loves me!" He was thrilled! It was like he had been given the best gift a kid could possibly get. I have never seen Big Brother so thrilled in my life. He sure felt so proud and I hugged K.C. and said, "you love Brother." That touch on the top of Big Brother's head helped me so much today. I felt so good for Big Brother, it was like all his hard work with K.C. paid off today, he was acknowledged by K.C. and even shown love. Today was incredible.

Well Wishes

2008-01-09T01:14:00.000-07:00

Our friends at, Parenting A complex Special Needs Child (Peggy Lou) has been sick. I want her to know that we are thinking of her and praying everything will be alright. She is going to try to keep us posted or have the pastor of her church keep us posted. She is having tests done so if everyone will please say a prayer for Peggy Lou and send her well wishes that would be great. Peggy Lou thinks she may have had a small heart attack. Her site is here,

http://lighthouseparents.blogspot.com

A New Year With My Boys

2008-01-03T22:31:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year to everyone in the blogosphere. We are happy to be able to go into this New Year with you all by our sides. It is a journey and we love that we are able to share it with you all. I'd like to thank you all for reading about K.C. and Big Brother.

For those who may be new to this blog, K.C. is 6 1/2 years old and has Autism. Big Brother is 7 1/2 years old and NeuroTypical/Gifted.

Big Brother started back to school today and was glad to do so. K.C. had one ABA session then we had to hurry off to an occupational therapy appointment right after. He needed the OT session badly today. He has been lining up again, everything from our chairs to shoes to silverware. Boy oh boy does he get angry if I interfere with his lining up. His days away from school have really been tough on him. He loves for things to be the same and I think his lining up is his way of restoring routine. Now that the holidays are over, things should be much better.

Wishing you all a great 2008, thank you for joining us on this journey :)

Wishing you all a very safe, happy holiday!

2007-12-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

Big Brother Bike Riding

K.C. snoozing away..

The Boys and I want to wish everyone a very safe, happy holiday.

Chuck E. Cheeses and Hiking With Daddy.

2007-12-16T22:35:00.000-07:00

We had a busy weekend with the boys. Their Daddy is in town and we we took the boys a few places to have fun. We first went to Chuck E. Cheeses, I printed some coupons off the Internet for pizza and tokens before we went. We got 100 tokens and a large pizza and 4 drinks. K.C. loves to walk with us to the drink area and I watch him visually scanning which drink he wants. He almost always picks Sprite these days. He smiles and looks very happy when he gets to hold his cup under the Sprite label and watches it fill his cup. We have to be careful though because he overflows his cup with soda.

Big Brother played lots of games, when he did finally come back to our table, I asked him if he wanted to walk with K.C. to look at the games with him. He said, "yes" so we watched as Big Brother took K.C.'s hand and walked around. We could see them the entire time, we picked a good booth to sit at. Both boys sat down at a Jurassic Park game, Big Brother put the coins in and K.C. watched, he loved watching the dinosaurs! They sat at the game for about 20 minutes, K.C. loved watching him play. Then, two boys walked up to where K.C. and Big Brother were playing. I heard one of the boys say, "can we play now?" Big Brother said, "we are still playing." The other boy looked at K.C. and said, "move it!" I started to get up and hurry over to where the boys were but their Daddy said, "no, let's see how Big Brother handles this." The boy said, "move it" again to K.C. and of course it looked as though K.C. never heard a word he said, so maybe the boy thought K.C. was ignoring him? Then I watched as this kid pushed K.C., I could not believe it! What is with kids these days? As fast as he pushed K.C., Big Brother shouted very loud, "you asshole, stop hurting my brother, he's Autistic!" People stared, the kids knew they were in trouble and left mighty fast. The whole time K.C. didn't cry or seem to realize that someone was being mean to him. He just wanted to watch the game. I have always told Big Brother that if someone was trying to grab him or hurt him to scream as loud as he could. He remembered :) After that the boys did had alot of fun together, the rest of our visit to Chuck E. Cheeses went very well.

Today we went hiking, the weather was nice and cool today, perfect for hiking. We walked up a "medium sized mountain" as Big Brother described it. K.C. walked with his Daddy and Big Brother walked with me. It was so nice to see K.C. take his Daddy's hand on our hike. K.C. almost always sticks with me, today was different. The best part about it is his Daddy looked so proud and really moved that K.C. took interest im him and walked with (even held his hand!) Big Brother and I talked alot as K.C. and Daddy were pretty far ahead of us. I let Big Brother know I had hidden a bag of corn nuts (Ranch Flavored) in my backpack. He was quite happy as he's a total corn nut addict. We talked and ate those along the walk, it was really nice.

When we were finished hiking, we needed to go to the supermarket for a few things. I am not sure what happened but as we were driving to the supermarket, K.C. began to kick a little in his seat. He howled a little too. When we pulled into the parking lot he looked very distressed. Before we got out of the car I told his Dad that I didn't think it was a good idea that we go shopping when K.C. is clearly not happy. (K.C.'s Daddy is in town only a couple times a month) He said, "he'll be o.k. once we get inside." I knew he wouldn't. But....tried anyways. K.C. did try to keep it together as we walked, (the whole time it looked like an explosion was imminent) then as we walked down as aisle he bolted from me and shoved 7 spaghetti sauce jars onto the floor. I knew I could not make a big deal out of what just happened or he would probably remember how I reacted and do it again the next time we went to the store. I just walked up to him and took his hand and led him away from the mess. By this time Big Brother and Daddy got as far away from us as possible, can you believe this? I tired to walk K.C out of the store in a hurry before headbanging or falling to the floor and not getting up could happen. As we walked I looked back and saw their Dad point towards the door (duh, we did he think we were going?) then I heard Big Brother say, "wait Mom." He caught up to us, he looked worried, he said,
"hurry Mom he's biting his fingers." We made it out of the store, poor K.C. Something set him off when we were in the car, I am not sure what it was. One thing for sure, I will listen to myself when it comes to K.C. next time. I did tell their Dad later that he isn't with K.C. enough to know when he's had enough and a meltdown is about to happen. He agreed and apologized.

When we got home I realized it was about 1:00 and think I figured it out. K.C. was probably hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's for lunch. I put a soy pizza in the oven when we got home and he ate 3 pieces and Big Brother had 2.

K.C. still can not answer yes or no questions. He can not nod his head yes or no so if something is out of reach and we ask, "do you want pizza?" He can't nod no or yes. He has to be able to touch the pizza twice to indicate "yes." That is huge progress for K.C.!

All in all it was a good day for the boys. We aren't going to let the supermarket incident get us down, there is much to learn and K.C. is making good progress each and everyday.

K.C. watching Open Season, happy kiddo!

2007-12-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

School, Bus and ABA

2007-12-04T23:05:00.001-07:00

(Getting Ready to Leave For The Bus)

The first night of Hanukkah began for us this evening. Big Brother is very excited and K.C. happily ate 3 Latkes and watched his Big Brother play his new game. We are celebrating a very low key Hanukkah this year. We usually spend Hanukkah with my Brother and Parents, but this year we are spending it at home. Tomorrow my Brother Adam is coming to spend Hanukkah with us. We are very happy about that :) K.C. got a squishy, spiky ball tonight as a gift, (at school they are called sensory balls).

K.C. actually has a P.E.C.S. card with the picture of the sensory ball on it as a motivator to board the bus and as soon as he gets to school his teacher allows him to hold the sensory ball straight away. We have been having some problems with the bus for about a week now. K.C. has been refusing to board the bus. As I put him into the car for our trip to catch the bus at my Parents house, as we nearly get there, he looks panicky, as I get him out of the car he falls to the ground and won't get up. Twice I could not get him onto the bus period. As he is much bigger now, I can't just scoop him up anymore. Gosh this kiddo is stronger and heavier than he was just a year ago. Still I had that horrible feeling that maybe K.C. was trying to tell me something. I can't begin to even describe the feeling I have putting him on the bus when he is trying so hard to keep my from doing just that. I kept thinking to myself what if something terrible is happening to him once he's on the bus? Here I am putting him on the damn thing, guilt, it is overwhelming. I have been talking with his teacher on a nearly daily basis. That is where the "squishy ball motivator" came into play. Well, one afternoon he refused to board the bus home. His teacher reported he had a major meltdown and couldn't figure out why. She had to take him off the bus, re board the bus, try to figure out what she had done differently. Poor kiddo, I knew something was wrong, it hurts not knowing how to help your child.

In comes his ABA therapist. K.C. has had a new therapist for a month now and it has taken him sometime to get used to him. His therapist knew what was going on and asked if he could ride the bus with K.C. I was so relieved that I had someone that would help, be there for us and has K.C.'s best interests at heart. That morning, that afternoon, his therapist, with one P.E.C.S. card in hand, rode the school bus with him. That afternoon, on the bus, his therapist called me. He watched each and everything the drivers did and figured it out. The afternoon driver hooked K.C. into his harness (as he is still quite unpredictable on the bus) and then she pulled his lap belt tight. That was all it took, K.C. screamed, kicked, lost it. His therapist took him off the bus, (it was raining that day) stood in the rain, waited, kept K.C. safe, let him calm down and boarded the bus again. This time he told the driver, "to do what she normally does slowly." Just as she was about to pull his lap belt tight, he looked panicked and his therapist told her to "stop." K.C. reached down at his lap belt and wanted to pull it tight! He wanted to try to do it! Nobody could understand, nobody thought he could do it, nobody thought he was paying attention all this time but he was! His therapist called me that afternoon, so very proud of K.C., I cried and cried.

Today, he was hooked into the harness, he pulled his OWN lap belt tight, I watched, amazing. I got off the bus, knocked on the window and waved to K.C., he never looks in my direction when I wave from outside the bus, just looks straight ahead, my big boy going to school, learning to help himself, wanting people to give him a chance :) I am amazed and so proud.

Spending time with my son, (sons).

2007-11-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent part of the day with Big Brother :) We walked along the water, talked about school, friends and (if he wanted too, K.C.) It was his special day and I thought it would be best to follow his lead. He skateboarded 2 miles and I walked behind him watching, talking. I watched him go up a big incline and go down fast, very fast, nearly gave me a heart attack.
We made our way to the sno cone stand and got two bubble gum flavored sno cones. After we walked back to our car (2 miles back) I asked him if he wanted to go to McDonald's, he agreed but looked like something was wrong. I asked him if he was "o.k." and he said, "yes." When we got to McDonald's, just as we were about to park, he said, "can we go get K.C.?" "It's not the same if he doesn't come too, you know how he loves the french fries!" I said, "super idea!" So as we headed back home to pick K.C. up and thanked my Mom for watching K.C. we headed back out to McDonald's. Big Brother was much, much, happier with K.C. sitting along side of him. I'm so proud of both my boys :)

Did I jinx myself?

2007-11-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

Did I jinx myself in my last post when I said, "K.C.'s hair pulling and headbanging has become less?" This morning was horrible.

It all started as we were getting ready to leave the house to drop Big Brother off at school. Our morning routine is I drop Big Brother off and then we head to K.C.'s bus stop. K.C. did not want to leave the house, actually I should say he didn't want to turn his t.v. off. He always watches t.v. in the morning when I finish getting him dressed. I turned his t.v. off and that was all it took. He flew into hysterics. He ran back to the t.v. and switched it on, when he switched it on, there was a commercial he can't stand to hear that made he run to the closet and shut the door. When he heard the commercial end, he came out, but from that point on it all went downhill.

I managed to get him out to the car, wasn't easy since he was pulling the opposite direction and screaming his head off. Big Brother looked very frustrated and kept repeating, "I'm going to be late because of him!" Finally got them both into the car, K.C. kicking the back of my seat, Big Brother trying to reach over and put his hand over K.C.'s legs so I could actually drive, Big Brother somehow getting hit or kicked in the nose, nose stared bleeding on his WHITE school uniform top. I am trying to find a safe spot to pull over and try to regain control of K.C. just before I find a spot, Big Brother is so upset cause his uniform is dirty, nose hasn't stopped bleeding and he hits K.C. on the top of the head, HARD. Now K.C. is hitting himself in the head and is trying to pull his own hair out.

Found a safe spot to pull over and sit in the backseat with both boys, I have to hold K.C.'s hands because he is in full beat himself in the head mode. We all sat, listening to K.C. screeches and finally after about 15 minutes he calmed down. The backseat of my car looked like a murder scene. Big Brother whispers, "let's just go home Mom, I can't go to school like this and I am too upset." We did just that. I let Big Brother ride in the front seat with me praying I wouldn't get into an accident (passenger airbag) but figure if we kept driving like we were, we were probably going to get into an accident anyways. When we got home I called the schools and (it was too late, K.C.'s bus had already come and gone) to let them know the kids would be out today.

K.C. has been completely out of sorts today. He's been touching everything once as he walks by and looks very anxious. I just don't know what's wrong with him today, I feel like we are back to square 1. Just when you think things are getting better.
Thank God there is no school tomorrow!

McDonald's for lunch time.

2007-11-18T15:02:00.001-07:00

K.C. and I walked to McDonald's today, the weather was really nice.
My little guy, who is not so little anymore (74 pounds and 49 inches tall, 4 feet 1 inch tall) he is one big 6 year old!
At McDonald's I ordered french fries for him and helped him choose his own drink. He is able to put his cup under the Sprite label and I press the button as he holds the cup. He loves Sprite!
He sat so very nicely in McDonald's with only 2 very loud outbursts. I call them outbursts because they seem to occur for know reason that I can see. He will suddenly make a very loud screech followed but another loud screech. A Mom and her son who were sitting across from us (I always try to pick a table away from people but they always seem to find us and sit near us.) I only pick tables away from people because I know K.C. has these outbursts. I try to put myself in his shoes. If I had outbursts I couldn't control I wouldn't want people staring at me either. When he did screech, the Mom and son stared, then the Mom stopped but the little boy kept staring. She noticed him staring and tapped his shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Oh well.
The boys Daddy is in town and Big Brother and him Have been doing lots of stuff together. Their Daddy gave them both haircuts, I didn't like the haircut he gave K.C. because I have been trying to grow his hair out over his ears since the headbanging and hair pulling has been less and less.
Tonight we are going to have a bar b que and Big Brother asked if we could roast Marshmallows when the food is finished. This is an activity both boys enjoy. Big Brother will eat his but K.C. won't. He just likes being able to roast them. I have to be extra, extra, careful because he'll try reaching into the fire if we are not careful.
Last night we were able to go for a walk as well. Our neighbor who lives just across the way hung Christmas Lights out and K.C. loved looking at them. They were really pretty :)

Cousins birthday party/family.

2007-11-14T03:24:00.001-07:00

On Sunday we celebrated Lynn Lynn's 6th birthday party. Lynn is the boys cousin. I brought K.C. and Big Brother along for the birthday party and he did great as long as we let him do his own thing. I did try to coax him into sitting through the happy birthday song. He sat through half of it before getting up and walking away. He didn't like being around so much noise and people. Big Brother spent most of his time with his 1 year old cousin and of course Lynn Lynn. K.C. spent his time walking around the perimeter of the Ramada we sat at. I watched him glance towards the big bouncer that the kids bounced in. I thought he might actually try to get inside and bounce but he didn't. The children tried calling him over to the bouncer but he was having a good time walking and watching them from a distance. He smiled nearly the whole time and I let him be. In the past I would have tried my best to get K.C. into that bouncer fearing he just wasn't going to have a good time unless he was doing what the other kids were doing. I did try twice to get him into the bouncer and then stopped. I figure if he wanted to bounce he would walk right in himself :) K.C. did have fun at the party, he didn't bounce with the other kids but you should have seen his face, he smiled nearly the entire time. Everyone is not the same, Big Brother loved bouncing with the kids, K.C. loved watching the kids bounce. My sister worried K.C. wasn't having a good time because he didn't want to be with the other kids. I know better these days, I would say he had just as much fun in his own K.C. way.

Beware...

2007-11-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

I took the boys to the park early this morning to feed the ducks. It was very nice outside as it has cooled off. K.C. liked feeding the ducks :) After we went to the park, Big Brother asked if we could stop at the supermarket to get something to drink. We did just that. K.C. has been doing an excellent job in the stores these days. As we walked down the aisles, K.C. quickly spotted a very small video screen and ran to press the button. I guess it was used for advertising Ritz crackers for the holidays. This little screen played just like a television and I had the hardest time getting K.C. away from the darned thing! Just a head's up to all the Mom's and Dad's of Autistic children, BEWARE of these little screens in the stores during the holidays! K.C. pressed the button a bunch of times and just when you think the little screen has played itself out, it does start up again and again after about a minute. I'll have to watch for those when going to the store from now on :)

A Visit To The Chinese Cultural Centre

2007-11-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

Today the boys and I and their Daddy went to visit friends at the Chinese Cultural Centre. The weather was beautiful today, about 85 degrees! I am so thankful it is finally cooling off, we can start to go on our walks along the water again.
K.C. and Big Brother both loved walking in the garden area at the centre. K.C. had a smile on his face as we walked and Big Brother asked his dad a million questions about China.
After we finished walking in the garden, we went inside to visit their Dads friends. Before we made our way inside, we had talked about K.C. and what our plan was going to be if he got antsy or stimmy. Once inside we all sat at a very large table and I watched K.C.'s face every few seconds to see if he was showing any signs of uneasiness. As soon as K.C.'s Dad's friends came over to the table to sit with us, (we were about to order food as we were in a restaurant) K.C. watched out of the corner of his eyes as our friends sat down. I can tell you my stomach was in knots for K.C., I was hoping nobody would touch him but as soon as I thought it, it happened. The gentleman that sat closest to K.C. said in a very loud voice, "hello boy, you are getting fat now, so lucky" and then patted him on the shoulders. I knew that was going to be the end of that. K.C. does NOT like to be touched unexpectedly period. Even is school doing hand over hand with him is tough his teacher says, he doesn't like to be touched. As soon as the gentleman touched him, K.C. let out a very loud yell and slid down in his seat to the floor. Big Brother and his Dad were talking non stop with their friends and it was strange to me because even though they had seen K.C. lose it, they were too preoccupied with talking and visiting. To be honest I was just thrilled that Big Brother was able to get out of the house with his Dad, talk with friends and just be happy.
I did try to re direct K.C. but it was too late. K.C. and I got up and did alot more walking in the garden and even walked across the street to buy two 7 ups. He did great! I know that K.C. would have been able to handle the restaurant as well had our friend not touched him. What should I have done I wondered as K.C. and I walked. Should I have immediately asked the man not to touch K.C. as soon as he sat with us? I think I should have, but I guess I just haven't the nerve to ask a friend "not to touch him."
All in all it was a very good day, K.C. is feeling better, Big Brother got to be with his Dad and talk with friends. K.C. and I spent alot of time together and he was happy. I learned something today, just because K.C. isn't doing what everyone else considers "fun" doesn't mean the day is lost. K.C. finds happiness in simple things, like walking with his Mommy and having a soda. I seen the smile on his face and realized that K.C. isn't always going to do what everyone else is doing but what makes him feel happy. That's all that matters in the world, as long as he's happy and healthy I am at total peace and so is he.

The Two "A" Words

2007-11-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

There are two "A" words in our lives, Autism and Asthma. K.C. has been having breathing problems alot this month and yesterday was the worst day yet. Yesterday night is when it started, he was having a very hard time breathing so we (Big Brother and I) got his little breathing machine out and added the medicine. K.C. will not wear the 'Bubbles the fish mask' for more than a few seconds. The noise that the machine makes (it's a puttering noise) K.C. can't tolerate. The moment he hears it he takes off. I have to try my best to keep him seated at least for a few seconds. Well the next morning he was still not breathing well and I called the doctors. We left for the Dr.s office and was able to get in quickly. The doctor listened to him breath and K.C. tried his best to kick her away. You could actually hear him make a whistling Darth Vader type noise. The doctor said she wanted to give him a shot of Solumedrol to help him. The nurse came in and gave him the shot in his left leg in his thigh. He never cries when he gets a shot, I wonder if he even feels it. Well the shot worked! Thank God it worked.
So we have been dealing with Asthma and our major thing today is to get him to at least have the mask on for short periods of time. Big Brother has been helping me so much lately, I am so proud of this kiddo. I felt kinda guilty yesterday because I keep thinking I am asking too much from a 7 year old. He says he likes to help and wants to help and for the I am so grateful. Still I wonder if other 7 year olds do as much as Big Brother does. I mean having an Autistic brother is sometimes hard for Big Brother. I know alot of (most of my attention) goes to K.C. and trying to keep things even is very hard. Tomorrow I am going to ask my Mother to come and stay with K.C. so I can spend a few hours with Big Brother doing something he'd like to do. So many times when we do want to go out and do something Big Brother wants to do, we end up not being able to do it because K.C. can't handle certain situations. I do remind Big Brother how much K.C. has learned and how far he has come. He does the best he can and we love him very much. Big Brother loves his little brother very much and I know he'll always protect K.C. and of all the people who work with K.C. and even family members, Big Brother knows and understands K.C. best. Two very special little boys that I have and I wouldn't change them for anything, ever.

Learning his colors

2007-10-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

K.C.'s teacher sent a note home in his communication book, he is learning his colors! I wrote her back and asked her how he is learning them because I have been trying very hard each and everyday to teach him his colors. She said he is doing very well if the color is "signed" rather than only said. He is recognizing the signs for colors and some of the colors! We have learned that he will watch hands so much better than mouths or eyes. I have a very strong feeling that I am going to need to take a sign language class. I don't think I am going to be able to help K.C. if I only know the basics, I need to know more. This may be his way of communicating/learning so I am going to need to know all that I can. Tomorrow I am going to call around and see what classes I can find.

Update on Toe :)

2007-10-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have been putting loads of peroxide on K.C.'s toe and the weirdest thing happened. His toe nail turned a sorta (milky color, sorry I know it's a bit gross) and this morning when I checked it the nail had fell off! I couldn't believe it especially since it wasn't bruised and the nail didn't turn a dark color. The redness is way better, it's not nearly as red as it was so maybe the nail coming off is a blessing. Still I don't know how it happened in the first place. Just glad it's looking better!

Limping

2007-10-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hello Blogger Friends, how are you all doing? We hope you all are well. We are doing o.k. these days. Big Brother is reading a great deal about Ireland at school and loving it :) I have been meaning to ask Eileen if she has the recipe for soda bread. Big Brother can bring a traditional Irish food to class for extra credit. He is really happy about it!

K.C. has been limping on his right leg. His teacher phoned me from school saying that she would stay in class with him while the rest of the students went on their morning walk. Each morning their class walks 1 mile and then they head back to class. His teacher says the students are much much more focused after their morning walk. She took him to the school nurse and the nurse called me saying she couldn't find anything wrong with his knee or hip. I wish that K.C. could tell me what hurts or at least when I ask him he could understand and point to the area that hurts. As of today he can't tell me what hurts and doesn't understand the "where does it hurt" question. Well last night when I gave the boys a bath Big Brother spotted the "owie." It was his right leg, the littlest toe. I didn't even see it all this time. My eyes have got to be getting bad, I should have seen it. Well, when I took him out of the bath and dried him off, I had a closer look at his toe. As soon as I touched it pus drained from his toe like crazy. I was shocked. I asked Big Brother to get me cotton balls and peroxide and he did. I kept pouring that peroxide on his toe until it stopped foaming. All this time his little toe had to be killing him but he couldn't say. It's times like these that I hate Autism. It got me to thinking, what if he had Appendicitis or something like that? What if his Appendicitis ruptured? It scares me to death. I wish he could tell me what hurts. It's really a guessing game.

Tomorrow he goes back to school and I am hoping that the redness goes down and it looks better. If not, I will take him to the doctor. I checked his toe and didn't see any sign of an ingrown toenail. I don't know if he dropped something on his foot or what. I also checked his shoes thinking something could be in his shoe or maybe they were a little too small. I bought a new pair of shoes with a wider width, size 2 1/2.

Tomorrow is a new day and maybe K.C.'s little toe will be better :)

Zoo and Hiking

2007-10-12T18:26:00.000-07:00

The boys and I went to the zoo last weekend. Big Brother had a good time, he really liked the Spider exhibit. My little guy loved walking and liked petting the goats. We also went hiking, there were Rams on the mountains and we watched them make their way up and down the mountain with ease.
The boys are on Winter break and go back to school on Monday. Since K.C. has been out of school he has been out of sorts. I know he misses the routines of school. He now has this obsession with shoes and taking them off peoples feet. As soon as someone walks through the door K.C. will make a frantic (and I mean frantic) beeline for your feet and take your shoes off. The sad part is he looks completely paranoid and frantic. He constantly watches to be sure no one has shoes on and it drives him nuts. Big Brother got kinda angry at K.C. over the whole shoe thing and refused to let K.C. take his shoes off. K.C. freaked out, hit his head and cried and cried. Big Brother hurried over to K.C. and offered him his feet but it was too late, he was in meltdown mode. I know I am not helping the situation by allowing K.C. to have his way and take every ones shoes off, but damn, I am not going to watch him hit his head on the floor over it either. I am hoping that when school starts again he'll forget about the shoes.
I took pictures of the boys at the zoo and in one of the photos K.C. is looking at Big Brother and Big Brother is thrilled! He started shouting, "look mom he's looking at me, he does love me!" I haven't seen Big Brother's face light up like that in a very long time. It sure made our day and I felt so happy for Big Brother :)
I nearly forgot to mention, have you noticed how Big K.C. is getting? I have got to get this kiddo some more exercise, the Risperdal is making him chunky again.

Critters, Spawns?

2007-10-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ants and Scorpions. How do I get rid of them without using chemicals? What's worse is this morning there was a baby scorpion in my shoe, worse because the little ones tend to be more toxic. I am hoping for cooler weather so that they will go into hiding. I am wondering where the mother scorpion is? Yuck. I hope it isn't hiding in my back yard. I am constantly having to shake shoes out, shake blankets out before bedtime. Big Brother knows not to leave his blanket hanging off the bed to where it touches the floor. I am grossed out by the critters. I shouldn't even call them "critters" cause in my eyes "critters" tend to be cute. Big Brother calls them "spawns" and wants to do experiments on them. Not going to happen. I let the nasty thing go far away from our house. K.C. has no fear and I mean no fear at all of scorpions, spiders etc. He'll reach right down and pick them up. Scary!

Videos of the boys at the skatepark.

2007-09-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

The boys at the skatepark:)

It's been awhile

2007-09-27T08:58:00.001-07:00

Hello Bloggers, it's been awhile since I last posted. K.C. has been sick with Asthma and it's been very rough. We have been taking him to the Dr. twice a week for breathing treatments. That has been hell because he doesn't know how to do a breathing treatment even though the technician has demonstrated it to him 6 times. She finally got a clue and just held his treatment near his nose. If I were K.C. I would be afraid too. This little inhaler type thing has so much smoke coming out of it and you are supposed to be breathing it in. Even though K.C. doesn't understand, her holding near his face has helped, the only thing is it makes him very jittery. Inhalers are out of the question. K.C. doesn't understand that when I "press button" "he breathes in." I am terrified he'll have a freaking asthma attack and the inhaler will be useless. He has been taking Alupent liquid and it has finally started to help. I wish there was a way to teach him to use the inhaler so that the medicine could get in his lungs quicker. Scares me to death. His ABA teacher is determined to teach him to use the inhaler.

He has been absent from school on and off, but has finally started going back as of yesterday and today.

Yesterday he had OT where his OT watched him walk on a treadmill slowly and walk on an obstacle course. He also got to play "parachute." Since K.C. has been going to his new school I have noticed the majority of the day is spent on OT related things. If K.C. could get past his OT issues I know the school could focus more on academics. But for now K.C. needs help with sensory issues. He is doing great in his new school and I feel very lucky to have him in this school. Since going to his new school, he has been letting me comb his hair a bit more and he is willing to try new foods more. Huge change!

Big Brother has been doing good. In the evenings since it's cooled down some, he's been going outside and riding his skateboard. Sunday he wants to go to the skate park :) I have noticed when children talk to him at the skate park he will not utter a single word. The last time we went, a little boy about 9 years old was trying to give Big Brother "advice" as to where to "roll in" on his skateboard. Big Brother would not look at him and wouldn't answer. I said nothing to Big Brother about it until we were home. We are going to work on talking to other children when we go to the skate park. He wants friends he says, he really does, maybe he's just a little shy. We will work on it.

Yom Kippur came and I decided to take BOTH boys to synagogue. I had a back up plan which consisted of my sister. If K.C. couldn't handle it I would take him home and she would stay with Lynn Lynn and Big Brother. K.C. sat for about 10 minutes! 10 minutes! I am so proud of him, I hugged and kissed him to death and told him what a good job he did "sitting nicely." I am amazed at him.
I haven't been visiting blogs very much these days and have alot of catching up to do. We hope you are all well :)

Happy New Year

2007-09-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

To our dear family and friends,

We wish you a year of good health and joy. May you be inscribed and sealed in the book of life. L'shanah tovah umetukah. This has been a year of many highs, and some lows, but we look forward to a bright year ahead, thank you for coming along on our journey.

We will be going to my Parents home and spending time with them and at the synagogue.

I praise God who is Lord and Ruler over all,
for keeping us well to reach this season.

Our trip to the museum and main street. part 1

2007-09-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

I took the boys to the Mesa Southwest Museum today. Big Brother wanted to go so badly because they have a "panning for gold" activity for children. I wondered if K.C. would be able to handle it and decided that yes, he probably would for a short time. We entered the museum and as you walk through the doors there is this huge Mastodon display. I noticed that as we waited in line to pay for admission he seemed o.k., the only thing that looked to be bothering him was the lights. He squinted the whole way through the museum, put his head down and hands over his eyes at one point. I mentioned to Big Brother that we should go outside to the panning for gold and he agreed. K.C. loved the water and the rocks (sand and fools gold) that was outside. He looked so relaxed running his hands through the water, he could care less about panning for anything. After we panned for gold we went back inside to have a look at the meteor display Big Brother wanted to see again. As we stopped to look K.C. pinched my arm and I knew it was time to go. We started to head out of the museum and I made a wrong turn (the place was pretty big three floors) and K.C. must have thought we weren't going to leave because he pinched me the whole time it took to find our way out. His face looked panicky, I told him "outside" and we were in about two minutes. Major meltdown avoided! On the way home he K.C. fell asleep and Big Brother admired his fools gold. Next Friday the museum is having a costume night, "Night at the Museum." You come as your favorite character from the movie. Big Brother is dying to go, we will see if I can get my Mom to look after K.C. I took some photos (alot of photos) but will have to post in two separate posts so they will all fit.

More photos and post below.

Our trip to the museum.

2007-09-08T15:03:00.000-07:00

Finally, some rain!

2007-09-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

It rained today, for about 15 minutes it rained, couldn't believe my eyes. I took K.C. outside to watch the rain, I think he liked it. His eyes are very sensitive to light and he squints them a lot. Now if I could just keep his hands out of his mouth :)

A rainbow as well!

A walk to the park.

2007-09-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

A very hot day today, triple digits. We are getting cabin fever here, decided to go for a walk (a very quick walk). 110 degrees today, oy vey! I am learning to upload videos and will post a couple more soon. Hope everyone is doing well!

Big Brother Skating

2007-09-01T23:00:00.001-07:00

Magnetix / Ignorance

2007-08-31T22:58:00.000-07:00

K.C. has been playing with his magnet set quite a bit this week. I have managed to keep his little hands busy and have done lots of lotion rubs on his arms and it's working! He isn't pinching himself as much and I am very happy about that and sure that K.C. is too. Thank you guys for all the great ideas regarding the pinching :)
We took my Mother grocery shopping with us today. She sometimes goes with us and my brother stays home with my Dad. I think she likes getting out of the house for a bit during the day. She lives near ASU so we went shopping at a grocery store that was only 15 minutes from the university. K.C. held my Mom's hand as we walked in the store. I really believe he likes to see my Mom but he just can't show it yet.
Inside the store it seemed most of the shoppers we college students. As we walked near the eggs K.C. stopped and stared up at the ceiling. I put my hand on his back and gave him a little push to keep him walking. He would not budge. My Mom said, "just give him a few minutes, there's no hurry." So we did just that, we talked and I held the eggs in my hand as I talked to my Mom, I thought maybe people walking by would think we were just talking about the eggs while we let K.C. be. After a few minutes I put my hand on his back and said "walk." He walked but then he started moving his fingers quickly and staring at them. This kid can make his fingers move fast! He was walking and flicking. He wasn't watching where he was going at all. Just watching the fingers. I held onto the back of his shirt and guided him and his fingers to the checkout. As we waited K.C. was good. He continued to play with his fingers and then it happened. I heard someone laughing. Then I heard someone say, "your so mean!" A young man was laughing at my baby, the young lady was telling him how "mean he was to be laughing at that little boy." My mother turned around gave them a dirty look. The young girl wasn't really laughing at K.C. it was the guy who was.
We just ignored them but it really got me thinking. I have been thinking about it all day long. K.C. is doing an awesome of job of going to the store and I am so proud of him. I really think he stims to keep himself calm. He is learning to cope all on his own in his own way. I will be damned if I try to stop him because it "looks weird or people think it's not appropriate." Then I wondered why is it that K.C. has to change? Why can't people learn to accept him for who he is? They are the ones who need to change, not my 6 year old boy. He isn't hurting anyone and he shouldn't be laughed at by adults. Shame on them.

Chinese Store and Pinching

2007-08-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

The Boys and their Daddy and I went to visit the Chinese store today. We bought bean sprouts, noodles, (alcohol, their Dad not me) Shrimp crackers and a few other things. K.C. did very well in the store, it was quite crowded and noisy but he made it through fine. He likes to look around so much so he runs into people if I am not holding his hand and weaving our way through people. Today as we stopped to look at Tofu, another man was standing near us reading a package and K.C. ran his hands along the back of his shirt. I have to watch and remember that he loves to feel things. The man just smiled at him. Most people are understanding and will smile.

K.C. loves to open the doors in the refrigerated section of the supermarket. He'll open every single one of the doors if I let him. I try to hurry through that part of the store, get what I need and move on.

Yesterday evening K.C. started pinching and pinching. He pinched his arms so much it looks as though the blood under the skin has come to the top. I don't know why he is doing this. He doesn't look angry when he does but looks very determined to pinch and pinch. I distracted him as much as I could yesterday from pinching. We even got out of the house and took at trip to a thrift store. K.C. picked out a little bag of action figures and we brought those home and it kept his hands busy for awhile. This morning the pinching started again :( He doesn't look upset at all. I don't know why he's pinching but hope he forgets about it soon. I am trying not to bring too much attention to the pinching cause I know he'll just do it more.

Last night we got some rain! I was able to open the door and let the boys watch it rain. Gosh I miss seeing it rain, I would love to see a good thunderstorm!

School and stuff.

2007-08-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

Everything is going well these days. We are in the 30 Th consecutive day of triple digit weather here in AZ.

K.C. had a check up at the doctors office yesterday and he now weighs 74 pounds! The doctor was not happy about that and asked me to give him only one snack when he gets home from school and to be sure it's healthy. Oy vey!
I really believe that it's the heat doing it. I mean we can hardly get out to do anything because of the heat he gets very little exercise. In the Winter he'll lose the weight. He also had to get a second Chicken Pox shot. The Doctor said the kiddos need two now. I can hardly keep up with the shots he does have! He got the shot and was very grumpy the rest of the day. This morning he was fine, smiling and ready for school! In Motor Lab he walked on a treadmill for 6 minutes! He also lay on his stomach and allowed the teacher to push him on a platform swing. He did an obstacle course as well. He's also working on letter and number recognition, hand over hand handwriting and numbers on a white board. He's comes off the bus happy each day. I wrote the teacher an introduction letter that told the most important things about K.C. Since he's not talking I thought it would be a good idea to write a letter so they can help him better. She said it was the first "Introduction" letter she had ever got and was very happy to get it. That made me feel relieved :)
College Boy has been hanging out with Big Brother teaching him to long board. Big Brother loves long boarding and I think College Boy loves it just as much. Tonight College Boy is coming by to pick Big Brother up to go to a skateboard shop. Big Brother is totally happy about it. Dad isn't happy with the skateboarding, he thinks he "should be studying." I believe you have to be a kid as well. Your only a kiddo once! Big Brother still studies quite a bit and it's really just this year that he's been like a regular kiddo. Playing outside and getting dirty.
We are looking forward to cooler temps, pray for cooler weather.

The above pictures, K.C. in College Boys room listening to his IPOD and Big Brother Boarding and College Boy boarding.

Answer to a question.

2007-08-18T13:26:00.000-07:00

In my last post "Anonymous" left a comment or two that said, "Anonymous said...

Here's my question---why are you publicizing all of this on your blog?

My answer...

A Blog is like journal, for me, it's the easiest way to publish my thoughts and to connect with other Parents who have children with Autism. I really believe that having other Parents to connect to, has been a huge support for me. I can only pray I have helped another Parent by sharing K.C.'s journey through his Autism. Sharing ideas with each other makes this journey a little bit easier.

What I do not understand is why you always use "anonymous" to comment? Why are you always attacking us Parents?

No matter, no more anonymous comments on this blog.

Anonymous said, "You are a thief."

I say... I am a mother doing everything I possibly can to help my son with Autism.

To NOT help my son would make me a true thief.

K.C. is doing great at his new school!

2007-08-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was K.C.'s first day at his new school! I dropped Big Brother off at his school then drove to my Parents house (which is very close to Big Brother's School) and we waited outside for the school bus. K.C. looked very nervous cause he was rocking back and forth from foot to foot, but, when the bus came around the corner he smiled! The driver is an older gentleman and he put K.C.'s harness on him and buckled him into his seat. I am so very proud of how well K.C. did with the transition! The day before he started school (this is his second day) he looked at the pictures of his new classroom alot. When he got on the bus he had the picture of his new classroom with his new teacher standing outside the door in his hand. When K.C. got on the bus I followed in my car. I didn't tell anyone I would be following so that I could see how it went coming off the bus. K.C. was the last one being picked up on the route so the bus headed straight for the school. I parked so that K.C. could not see my car but I could still see the bus. I seen the teacher and aides waiting outside for the students and watched them get off one by one. K.C. was last to get off (probably because of the harness) and when he did come off the bus he hesitated and tried to get back on the bus. I know he must have been a little confused. The teacher took his hand and got down to his eye level and was talking to him. I could see she was smiling at him and off they kids went to class. There are 8 children in his room. His teacher called me twice during the school day to let me know, "he is doing WONDERFUL!" I am so relieved and so proud of him. The note his teacher sent home said he ate chicken nuggets, wouldn't touch the veggies, drank apple juice. He went to APE, Motor Lab and Speech Therapy. They also sent home some of his papers he did at school. He is working on tracing straight lines with hand over hand. There is so much more but I wanted to give you guys an idea of what his day was like. I am thankful that my Parents let me use their address. K.C. and Big Brother have a room at my Parents house. It's a room they share if there is a guest. K.C. has some of his stuff in the room and Big Brother has lots of his stuff there. If the school wanted to come visit they are more than welcome to. When K.C. attended preschool, his preschool teacher said they only make home visits for children in preschool. K.C. is now in 1st grade and is in school til 3:30. My Parents have lived in the city K.C. goes to school at for years. They are taxpayers and have a son (my brother) with Autism. We live at my Parents retirement home (was supposed to be their retirement home) but K.C., Big Brother and I live here and their Daddy when he's in town. I gave a timeline of 6 months because if we did move and find a house of our own, we would have to work something out with my Parents and not leave them hanging.
I did what's best for K.C. He is deserves the best, "all children with Autism deserve the very best" as a good friend wrote. I agree. I love this little boy with all my heart and would do anything to see that he is happy. Even if it means using my Parents address.
Thank you to all my friends who have been so supportive. We love you guys dearly and you mean alot to us. Thank you :)

I found a program for K.C.

2007-08-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

Today I found an Autism class for K.C.! He begins tomorrow! I had to use my Mom's address so that he could attend the program, but, it will be so much better than the other option.
The children in this Autism class are all non verbal like K.C. and the teacher is big on Academics and learning to use the Augmentative Device and Signs. It's an ABA type class which is great for K.C. cause that's how he's learned so far, using ABA. The program director says the teacher next door to K.C.'s Autism class has 29 years of experience with Autistic kids and that K.C.'s new teacher did all of her learning under the teacher with 29 years.
I feel some guilt not telling the truth about my address :( In fact it's bothered me alot. I really feel in my heart I had no other options for K.C. and felt he'd be in danger at the other program. I am considering moving closer to the school for K.C. but will have to wait at least 6 months before I can make it happen. Besides I need to see how he responds to the program. I feel so much better knowing he'll be safe and that he'll definitely be learning! Wish us luck tomorrow!

Bump In The Road

2007-08-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

Big Brother is doing well :) Sore, but well. K.C. did not do so well yesterday with his Daddy. His Daddy watched him while I was with Big Brother at the hospital. I got a call from his Daddy only after two hours of him watching K.C. He said they were looking at books and everything was going fine. After K.C. looks at books he'll put them back EXACTLY PERFECT, he makes sure they are next to each other exactly even with each other. His Daddy isn't with K.C. very much and I should have warned him but I was so preoccupied with Big Brother I forgot to. K.C. started turning the pages of the books really hard because instead of K.C. putting the books back his Daddy was taking the books from him and trying to show him pictures in the book. On the last book K.C. ripped the pages and his Daddy took the books away. This made him even more mad because K.C. knows they get put away "just right." His Daddy said he was crying, when the tears ran down his face he was punching himself in the face and pulling his lips hard. This time I couldn't get home to help :( I had to stay with Big Brother. I told his Daddy to just watch him carefully but not to say a word to him. He'll never calm down if someone is talking to him. I told him to stay near and watch him for headbanging and just keep him safe so he doesn't hurt himself. Well I called back and this had to be the angriest K.C.'s been in a a long time :( He cried for at least 2 hours and was exhausted. He finally fell asleep. I called my Mom to come up to the hospital to stay with Big Brother so I could get home. When I did finally get home K.C. was awake and he was still very angry. He looked so sad and his eyes were swollen and red. I went straight to him and hugged him and he started crying all over again. I should have left him alone but he looked so sad. He cried for another 30 minutes and we just sat quietly most of the night. When we got to bed I lay there thinking all of this happened because of my failure to communicate the "book situation" with his Daddy. I should have told him he's very particular about the books. K.C. did wake up today o.k. but looked spent. Big Brother is home and very glad to be. His tonsils and adenoids are gone now.
About an hour ago I called K.C.'s "sensory based program." I introduced myself to the teacher on the phone and asked when I could come and let K.C. see the classroom cause school starts Tuesday. The original sensory based program fell through because the other teacher had moved out of state. The new teacher said she had NOT made any plans for the parents to come down with the kids and assumed she would be meeting them (the kids) on Tuesday for the first time. When she said that I asked her how was she supposed to recognize him and if K.C. didn't see the classroom and if I couldn't take pictures for his PECS book we would hit a serious bump in the road. It's not like I can just throw him on the bus and say, "you are going back to school today, see you at 3:30!" He has to see the room and have the picture in his hand or he'll be very confused! She agreed and said she would been in the class today after noon time as she had meetings. K.C. and I went to the school (which is in a very poor area) and walked (seemed like a 1/2 mile) to the very back of the school, out on the a field that had a trailer type deal where his class is supposed to be. The damn trailer was out so far I wondered why the school put the handicapped kids so far away from the school? It was like they were kept a dirty little secret and left as far away from the "regular kids" as possible. When we got to the room we knocked and walked in. No teacher was there so I thought we should leave but then I thought this is the perfect opportunity to snoop around! K.C. looked around and I did too. If this is the "sensory based program" it is the Pitts :( It was just a room, with paint peeling off the walls and some chairs and big tables. This room looked very poor. It did not look inviting for any kid and lacked many things, the biggest this is the sensory stuff! We waited for the teacher and I sat there totally depressed at the sight of the room and lack of things the kids should have in the room. I knew in my heart this is NOT where my son is going to go to school. K.C. may seem to not be aware of things but to put him in that program, in that area, I would say heck yeah he's going to notice! He doesn't live that way and he's not going to be put in that situation. The teacher finally came and I explained we didn't wait outside due to the heat. She said it was fine. I introduced K.C. to her and she said, "you'll have to tell me all about him because I don't have any information on any of the kids yet." I thought, "oh shit." I asked her if she had his IEP and she replied, "I haven't received any of the kids IEPS yet." I said, "but school starts Tuesday and it's Friday." The teacher said, "I was going to print them off the sped web before I left for the day." I could not believe it. I didn't bother telling her about K.C. and took his hand and thanked her for her time. We got the hell out of there. Came home and called the director of special Ed. and asked for a different program for K.C. and explained what I saw at the school. The director said, "there are NO OTHER PROGRAMS." I am in total shock :( I phoned my Mom and asked her if I could use her address for K.C. and send him to another school in a different city that has a really good Autism program. She agreed and now I have got to move fast before Tuesday comes. Do you guys think I am doing the right things? I really have no other options for K.C. My previous plans for him have feel through. I cannot afford to have both boys in private schools at this time. Big Brother's in very expensive :(

Tomorrow is the big day!

2007-08-08T20:49:00.001-07:00

August 9Th is tonsil removal day for Big Brother! Please keep him in your thoughts :) K.C. will be staying at home with his Daddy :) Today K.C. didn't want anyone around him. How do I know this? Because he kept shoving Big Brother and I out of his area. He'd push us into another room and scream and cover his ears. Extra sensitive today. We kept our distance from him and gave him space. I guess everyone has those days. Just don't want to be around anyone and want peace and quiet.
Wish us luck tomorrow everybody:) Thank you:)
P.S. Happy Birthday to Melissa's son Conor! Happy Birthday!

New Skateboarding Pics Of Jayce

2007-08-05T17:16:00.000-07:00

He is really catching on to this Long Board very quickly! He's having so much fun doing it. K.C. didn't want to come outside with us this time, so he stayed inside with C.B. He's been watching Flushed Away and really likes it :)

Two Little Boys Playing Outside.

2007-08-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

K.C. and Big Brother played outside today TOGETHER! Together everyone! Big Brother has a Long Board he's been practicing on and he loves it! K.C. loves to sit on it and have someone push him. They were playing together today just like regular little kiddos! I still need to get Big Brother a new helmet though, the one he has is a bit big. He has the biggest head! I had two very dirty kiddos today that headed straight for the bath after they came inside. I have never seen K.C. get this dirty from playing outside before, usually he just wanders around while we walk with him. I really feel like this is a super good sign! K.C. is letting us into his world, he WANTED to play today!

All Is Well :)

2007-08-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

All is well. We have been hoping for more rain since we are now in "monsoon season." It has rained here only once (a really good rain, not just sprinkles.)
K.C. is doing well, he's been happy this week and I am very thankful. He's been doing his ABA sessions as best as he can, now wanting and keeping his eyes on his "break" card. He'll grab it quickly and has been wanting to whirl around in circles at break time. He'll spin and spin as if he needs to do it, he has to do it. He looks more focused after "he's spun." I know it's a stim but we have figured out very quickly and so has K.C. that stimming is something he can earn at "Break" and has really learned to have better control over himself during a session. To see where K.C. is now, compared to when we first began ABA is amazing.
Big Brother is having his tonsils removed on August 9Th. Our friends Melissa and Conor will be celebrating their little guys birthday on that day. We will be thinking of you guys :) Big Brother got a pet mouse of all things. We went to Petco and he seen the little critters and wanted one. It totally surprised me because he is totally obsessed with not getting "germs" or "diseases." I got the mouse straight away thinking it could be a turning point for Big Brother but he has lost all interest in the mouse fearing "germs" again. K.C. isn't interested in the mouse at all. Even the day we brought it home he looked at it once and has never stopped to look again. He'll glance at it but that's about it. I guess I will be taking care of the little critter or find someone who wants the cage and critter, a good home. Why do I get myself into these situations?
I have joined a Chavurah Group at the Synagogue. I love making things and to be honest I don't like to be with alot of people. Most of these women I know are from my parents and they are older. So I will be knitting with them once a week and listening to what has happened in their lives. I know I will like this group and listening most of all.
Lora and Griffin and Donetta, we are doing well. We hope you all are well and happy these days :)

Big Brother And K.C./The Tough Days.

2007-07-28T02:13:00.000-07:00

K.C.'s brother (Big Brother) has been sick as I mentioned in an earlier post. He is to have his tonsils removed on August 9th. He has just finished up a bottle of antibiotics (the pink stuff) and today, he is with fever AGAIN! His neck feels like there are two knots on each side (I guess its his glands, they feel big.) I did call his doctor who said to bring him in on Monday or to Emergency if he got any sicker. Any sicker? This kid has been sick enough this year! I am now wondering if he has built a resistance to the antibiotics he has been taking? I am giving him Tylenol for the fever and it is helping. Hopefully it's just a virus this time around and not the dreaded strep! Big Brother hasn't been outside much at all and has been reading Harry Potter (Deathly Hallows) every spare second he gets. K.C. has been well am I am ever so thankful for that. He is now watching Inuyasha at this late hour because he will not go to sleep for anything. If I can't get him to sleep soon I will give him a Clonidine. I don't like to give him Clonidine unless absolutely necessary and have only been using it twice a week. Tonight we are thinking of our dear friends Melissa and Conor. We hope you are getting some ZZZZZZ's and feeling better.
Before I had K.C., I used to take sleep for granted. I never dreamed in a million years that sleep of all things would be very hard to come by! K.C. is sleeping better these days, but still has his days where he'll be up til 3 or 4 a.m. and stay awake, grouchy as hell the rest of the day. I was sure that when he turned around 6 months old he'd been sleeping through the night. Nope, never happened, if anything, he'd wake up at night and turn the lights on and off a zillion times. I was sure our neighbors though we had some kind of freaking electrical problem with our lights. Then came the little doors on the inside of the refrigerator door. You know the little doors that open where you can put, butter or something that close in size? Well he would get up at night and open and close these doors for as long as he could until I stopped him. He would scream his head off, I mean scream for a good 1 1/2 if I stopped him from opening and closing. I'll never forget the day his Daddy took the little "butter doors" off the refrigerator. K.C. had headbanging fits because the little doors were no longer there and I for some strange reason began to think his dad as "mean" for taking the doors off. I resented him. Those were tough days, at one point I didn't think our marriage was going to last because of the huge amount of stress. We blamed each other and could never agree on what to do to help K.C. His Dad wanted me to just leave him be, no therapy, nothing. He felt that K.C. was "retarded" and it was our job to take care of our "retarded son." After alot of counseling, ALOT of counseling, K.C.'s Dad had said something I could have never imagined in a million years. He thought he was being cursed for something he had done in his last life. This is why K.C. had Autism. Those were very tough trying days. His crying seemed endless. I thought I was going to lose what little mind I had left. It's hard to believe and I could never ever have imagined things getting any better but finally things have gotten better and K.C.'s gotten older. I can't believe it has taken 6 years! Through the crying and headbonking K.C. has finally started to leave the crying days behind. He still cries but it's alot shorter now, he seems to understand a little better. Maybe as he has gotten older and is understanding a little better the crying has lessened? I am just grateful it's better and the poor kiddo isn't sad these days. He's learning and I am so proud of the little fella! I love K.C. and Big Brother will all my heart, these little guys are why I live, they are all I think of. Autism is tough but that smile K.C. shows on happy days melt all the yucky days away. For parents of younger children with Autism, things do get better as they get older. It just takes Time, Love, Prayers, Patience and ABA (ABA in our case has helped K.C. tremendously, every child is different though, a different teaching method could be better for your kiddo.)

An Award!

2007-07-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

We have won an award! Yay us! Donetta from A Life Uncommon,
http://jewelryatalifeuncommon.blogspot.com has gave us this award and we are ever so grateful, we have never really won an award so we are really moved to happy tears! According to the rules it's our turn to give the award to 5 bloggers!
Here are the rules: For those who answer blog comments, emails and make their visitors feel at home on their blog. For the people who take others people's feelings into consideration before speaking out, and who are kind and courteous. Also for all those bloggers who spend so much of their time helping other bloggers design, improve and fix there sites. This award is for those generous bloggers who think of others.
So, know it is my turn to pick out five bloggers that I feel are deserving of this award.
My choices are:
1. My Beautiful Child Griffin And Autism. http://griffinblaise.blogspot.com Lora has been a great source of strength for me during very difficult times. She is always there for me and anyone in need of help. She is the most caring and giving person I know. I am blessed to have her our lives. She is an awesome Mommy and Friend!
2. Things I Can't Say Outloud. http://thingsicantsayoutloud.vox.com Melissa is another caring soul that has really touched our hearts. Her comments she has left on our blog has always made me feel so much better and felt reassured. She is truly a wonderful Mommy and Friend.
3. Me And My Three. http://meandmythreebabies.blogspot.com MamaRoo is such an inspiration. I have learned so much from reading her blog and have to have my blog "fix" of the day and read her blog. She has just had a brand new baby girl and has two little guys as well. Shes such an awesome mom and Teacher!
4. Dear Noah. http://www.dearnoah.blogspot.com Melinda is incredible. Her Noah is where I hope K.C. will be someday. Melinda teaches Noah at home and his progress is amazing! There is so much great information on her blog, it is a must read!
5. Autism Vox. http://www.autismvox.com Kristina is a Teacher and Mommy. When I first started blogging it was her site I found first. I am so thankful that I did stumble upon her site because to be honest, I had no idea as to what I was going to do about K.C. and his Autism. As I read her blog, I felt empowered. I found wonderful ideas that could help K.C. I am ever so grateful for her blogs Autismland and Autism Vox.

Trip To The Airport- Williams Gateway Airport

2007-07-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

This morning we had to make a trip to the airport. Yesterday we had a pretty good dust storm and a few sprinkles. We haven't had a good rain here in ages. The weather has been hot and humid now that "monsoon" is in. On the way to the airport K.C. noticed a few rain drops on the windshield and started screaming his head off and kicking the back of my seat. I had to turn the wipers on to see and that made it worse. The wipers made him throw his hands over his ears and scream. Weird because I have been praying for rain and now I wished it would stop! After 15 minutes it did stop and K.C. quieted down. When he's screaming I have to say absolutely nothing to him because my words make it that much worse.
When we got to the airport we sat down outside the gates and watched the flights coming in and out while we waited for the boys daddy. While we waited we saw a Harrier Jet being worked on . K.C. wasn't happy about the airport and we left as soon as the boys daddy found us. No rain the ride home, K.C. was happy.

Tonsils/Emotions/Harry Potter

2007-07-20T01:10:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on what we have been up to. Big Brother has had strep and finally after all this time the ENT Dr. is going to remove his tonsils on August 9th! Thank goodness! Big Brother has been taking penicillin to get rid of the Strep. He's feeling much better:)
I got the boys school registrations in the mail (already), looks like it will be back to school shopping for us near the end of this month or very beginning of next month.
An Autistic little boy drown this week in Glendale, AZ. He and his class were going on a field trip and as they were boarding the bus there was some sort of incident with another student outside the bus. The little Autistic boy who was already seat belted in his seat unfastened his belt and simply walked away while the teachers were dealing with the other student on the outside of the bus. The Autistic child wandered away and drown in a canal nearby. A man working on the opposite side of the street seen the boy go down into the canal and ran to jump in and help but it was too late.
Heartbreaking :( It reminds me of how K.C. wanders and I am always scared to death he'll wander away from me somehow or the school won't watch him well enough. I worry he'll be left on the bus, gosh it scares me to death.
Yesterday K.C. did something that was a first! He was walking around in the living room, his face looked as though he was thinking, thinking hard. He sat on the couch and made the saddest face and his lip started quivering and he cried and cried. I have never ever seen him have this emotion. Sure I have seen him cry but to see him think, turn his lips into an upside down frown and cry was incredible. He seemed so "real" if that makes any sense? Its hard to explain but I know that some of the Autism mommies out there know what I am talking about. I hugged him gently and said, "K.C. is sad." He let me hug him! I am not sure what triggered it, it was just so incredible. The emotion I seen on his face- Big Brother was also floored. He hugged him too and I started crying which made Big Brother cry. I know it seems like a little thing but it was so real and huge for us.
Weather here has been very hot. We have been indoors quite a bit. I remember when lora and Griffin were living in Alaska during Winter time they were indoors alot too. It's kinda like that right now for us as well only we are indoors because it's so darn hot. It sure can wreak havoc on a person moods. I am trying to stay as upbeat as possible but it's not easy. I want to live somewhere that the boys can see all four seasons. Here in AZ. there are two season (seems like it anyways) hot Summer and a very warm Winter. On a happy note we did get some sprinkles here tonight! That was a nice change! I opened the door so that K.C. and Big Brother could see it rain. It has not rained here in the longest time!
Tomorrow is the day we have been waiting for (at least Big Brother) Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows will be released! We are thrilled! We have every one of the books and have waited for this day for the longest time! I promised Big Brother we would have a small party in honour of the release of the book. He wants an ice cream cake and that sounds fine with me, but I have to find something K.C. will enjoy as well. I think K.C. likes Harry Potter as well because when we do read it out loud (taking turns with Big Brother) he seems happy :)
Time for me to catch up on your blogs, I am going to go read now, bye bye:)

God help me!

2007-07-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a craving for Mexican food and decided I wanted to make a quick trip to this local fast food Mexican restaurant for Carne Asada. K.C. was in a diaper and t shirt, the place is about 3 minutes from home, I have the car seat of out of the car because we are going to San Francisco soon. We are flying, all three of us! Anyways, I seat belted K.C. into his seat and he was fine. Lately K.C. has discovered his private parts and I have had the toughest time keeping his hands out of his diaper or keeping clothes on him for that matter. Well I ordered the food and pulled up to the window to pay. The guy working the window yelled something in Spanish and another worker came to the drive thru window and looked towards the back seat of the car. They were laughing. K.C. was directly behind me and I thought he may have been finger flicking or something but he wasn't he had gotten his diaper off and yep, you guessed it, he was doing what he shouldn't be doing. I was horrified, not because of K.C. so much but because of the workers. I really lost my temper, I told the drive thru workers to keep their food I didn't want food from perverts. Now I am left with wondering how the hell I am going to keep this kid from stripping his clothes off. I have tried saying, "clothes on" hundred times and it hasn't worked. Does anyone know if there are clothes that are very very difficult to take off? Any ideas? Help!

Shiva

2007-07-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

For our dear friends Ian and Judy. You are always in our thoughts and hearts. I wish I could sit minyan with Judy. We are thinking of you both each and everyday.
Love to you both,
Tina and Boys

Denial

2007-06-29T23:06:00.001-07:00

A good day today, very hot day but good. Big Brother is home again, huge relief! Since it has been so hot we decided to walk the mall (Fiesta Mall Jaye) it is supposed to be up to 114 degrees here this week. As soon as you step outside the sun almost immediately starts to burn your skin. It's horrible it really is. It's bad enough that we literally have to run from the car to the mall before we bake. When we did get inside K.C. pulled me along, he remembers or route and makes sure we stay on it. We do pretty much the same stuff, look at the same stuff, go to the food court etc. Man was I in huge denial today. It was such a good trip to the mall, I nearly forgot about Autism. Forgot about Autism! We headed to the food court, Big Brother wanted to eat at Sbarros. K.C. pulled in the other direction (where he knew fries were) Oh how I should have listened! Instead, since Big Brother had just gotten home, we did what Big Brother wanted this time around. We ALL ate at Sbarros. I know K.C. can't have dairy, I know this yet I was in total denial today. Trying to reason in my mind, "he just wants pizza like every other kid!" "I''m going to let him have the darn pizza!" And so I did. He liked it, he ate half of it, man life was good! He didn't get sick so far. We walked downstairs (no elevators for K.C., when he goes down on the elevator he gasps like he loses his breath and falls to the ground) as soon as we reached Sears the barfing began. Cashier at Sears looked towards us and I asked her to have someone clean it up. I couldn't have cleaned it up if I wanted to because I had nothing with me. I just wanted to get him outside as quickly as possible because I knew the bathroom was further than outside was. Poor kid vomited three more times before we got home. Denial on my part. No more fairy tale thinking for me. No more dairy for poor K.C. I just wanted it to be a regular day for everyone. Wanted K.C. to eat whatever he wanted. Boy was I wrong!

Lunch at School

2007-06-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

I have been taking K.C. to the elementary school in our neighborhood every day. I am trying to get him used to eating in the cafeteria with all the noise and commotion. We leave our house around 11:00 a.m. and try to beat the Summer schoolers before their classes let out at 11:30 a.m. K.C. is doing a good job of waiting in line to get his lunch, he needs help the entire time. His ABA therapist made him a "lunchtime" schedule going through each of the steps so that he'll know what to expect when we are there. Since going to the cafeteria with K.C. and getting lunch, I didn't realize how many steps there are in the whole process. Some take going to lunch for granted and never think twice about it but with an Autistic kiddo each and every step has to be made into a plan, we definitely think twice about it and sometimes more. Picking up his "drink" (choosing) then carrying drink to get "tray" and seeing the choices for lunch and making a choice, all the while remembering he has to hang on to, "drink and tray." K.C. couldn't do both so I let him hold "drink" and I carried "tray." He became preoccupied with the kids shirt in front of us and kept trying to "sniff" the kids shirt again an again, all the while I am trying to keep him focused on lunch. When I did redirect him he let out two sharp screams that scared the little girl behind us. Today corn dogs, applesauce, french fries and frozen fruit slushy type thing was what K.C. thought he'd want. We sat down and "Sit up" then I put his lunch in front of him. He has seen me open his apple juice a lot but his little hands can't get the darn thing opened. They are tough to open. Little by little the children started filtering in to the cafeteria and K.C. watched closely. 4 little girls sat near us and K.C. kept trying to touch her clothes and poke her back. I redirected him and apologized to the little girl (she didn't seem to mind at all but still..). He did eat half of his corn dog and when it appeared he was finished I helped him carry his tray and empty it into certain bins because this is a recycling school. No meltdowns and a pretty happy kiddo today, we'll keep going as much as possible each and every day.
K.C. will be in 1 st grade in August. I am wondering if I should pack his lunch? He has allergies to dairy and I am wondering if his new teacher will make sure he has nothing dairy if he does eat at school. I am worried he'll be made fun of at lunch time too. My sister says even if he does get made fun of he won't understand it. I know I should stop panicking over this but I am really worried.

Interesting News about Autism

2007-06-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

Wed Jun 27, 9:11 AM ET

CHICAGO (AFP) - US researchers have reversed the symptoms of mental retardation and autism in mice by inhibiting an enzyme that affects the connections between brain cells, researchers said Wednesday.

ADVERTISEMENT

In a series of experiments on mice, the MIT investigators showed that they could undo the brain damage seen in a condition called Fragile X syndrome by inhibiting a key brain chemical called PAK.

In humans, Fragile X syndrome (FXS) is the leading cause of mental retardation and the most common genetic cause of autism -- the complex and devastating developmental disorder that is now being diagnosed in increasing numbers of children.

The study raises the intriguing possibility that the brain damage seen in children with the condition can be rolled back and identifies a specific target for potential drug therapies.

"It opens up a new avenue for drug research to treat this condition," said Susumu Tonegawa, a neuroscientist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and lead author of the paper.

MIT researchers began by creating a batch of mice that had been genetically modified to have Fragile X, a condition in which the neurons of the brain are structurally abnormal and functionally impaired compared to regular nerve cells.

These transgenic mice had many of the behavioral problems seen in kids with the condition: hyperactivity, attention deficits, repetitive behaviors and poor social skills.

The investigators then cross-bred these mice with another batch of mice that had been genetically modified to inhibit the activity of the PAK (p21-activated kinase) enzyme which is instrumental in shaping the formation of neuronal connections in the brain.

The researchers knew that when PAK was inactivated, the mice developed neurons that had short, fat dendritic spines, with a higher-than-usual capacity for relaying the electrical impulses that pass between brain cells.

In other words, the shape and function of the dendritic spines in the PAK mice was just the reverse of those seen in the brain cells of the mice with Fragile X syndrome.

The researchers gambled that the two abnormalities would cancel each other out, and that's exactly what the experiment showed.

The cross-bred mice had been genetically engineered so that the inactivation of the PAK enzyme began two weeks into the mouse's life cycle, which in human terms would be several years after birth.

Tests and autopsies showed that the PAK-blocking action restored electrical communication between neurons in the brains of the double mutant mice, correcting their behavioral abnormalities in the process.

"This is very exciting because it suggests that PAK inhibitors could be used for therapeutic purposes to reverse already established mental impairments in fragile X children," said Eric Klann, a professor at New York University's Center for Neural Science.

The study was conducted by Tonegawa and a postdoctoral student at MIT's Picower Institute for Learning and Memory and appears in this week's edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
I wonder if this means that a child must have Fragile X before they could be helped? What about the children who have Autism without Fragile X?

6 years old, 4 feet tall

2007-06-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

I measured K.C. last night very quickly as he was standing against the wall. With a quick pencil mark on the wall just above his head, he is exactly 4 feet tall. This little guy is growing up so quickly, like a little weed.
I took K.C. swimming last night minus Big Brother who is in San Mateo CA. this week, all week with his dad. K.C. had a blast all by himself, kicking his feet and drinking the water (I am doing my best to get him to stop this.) It's been triple digits here all week!
K.C. woke up very early last night, 3 a.m. in fact and hasn't been back to sleep yet and shows no signs of being tired. He laughed hysterically most of all the time he was up last night. I have no idea what he was laughing at but one thing for sure, thank God he wasn't crying! I must have been very tired last night because his laughter started to creep me out after awhile last night. He was just staring off into space, laughing and laughing.
He was one happy kiddo!

New Sign! Hooray for K.C.!

2007-06-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

(this photo is a few months old)
For the past couple of weeks we have been working very hard at getting K.C. to learn a new sign, "yes." Yesterday it paid off! K.C.'s ABA therapist was about to leave when K.C. took off running into the kitchen to climb on top of the kitchen table. K.C.'s daddy has been picking him up and wrapping his arms around his dad's neck and giving him piggy back rides. I have been doing it too but only, and I mean only if K.C. makes an effort to sign, "yes" after I say, "do you want a ride?" When I ask him this, I take his index finger, bend down just a bit to indicate, "yes." Sort of like you would do when kids are playing "where is thumbkin? Well, back to what I was saying, his ABA therapist went into the kitchen and asked K.C., "do you want a ride?" We both waited and watched his hands intently, there it came, he did, he used all of his fingers on his left hand moved them up and down and off he went for a ride upstairs and downstairs! K.C.'s therapist thought it would be easier for him to sign "yes" in that manner. We realize it isn't exactly the proper sign for "yes" but heck we'll take it! I had no idea K.C. understood yes or no because he has never nodded yes or no or said yes or no. We will be teaching him, "no" down the road. Can you all imagine how much easier K.C.'s life will be if we can teach him to sign "yes" and "no?" There is so much going on in his head and secretly I have been dying to ask him hundreds of questions. I don't know how much he understands of what we say but it's coming little by little. The first question I want to ask him is, "K.C. do you love Mama?" When he signs "yes" it will be the very best day of my life ever cause I will know K.C. isn't so much in his own world and that he does love his Mama just can't show it yet. That will be the best day ever. Pray for it everyone!

Treading Water

2007-06-18T00:25:00.001-07:00

I took the boys swimming today, for the very first time K.C. is treading water with his feet! He is actually using his feet to get his body from one place to another! I was so surprised I had to look twice. His little feet were doing their jobs! Our next swim day I will be taking the vest off and watching very carefully to how he responds. He's really learning fast!

Successful Trip To The Mall! So Excited For My Little Boy!

2007-06-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

K.C. had a trip to the mall today and did great! He sat so nicely in the food court to eat his fries and walked through the mall like a little gentleman. This is the first successful trip to the mall! I am so proud of him!

Fast Food

2007-06-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

K.C. has had the sickies for a few days. Today he is much better. He has been laying on the couch a lot the past three days. He would drink, but not eat. I've been trying to get him to eat soup or eat anything for that matter but nope, nothing doing. Last night he did get up and drink some more Gatorade (only the blue Gatorade, God forbid you place another colour before him). Since he was walking around some, I grabbed his shoes and put them on his feet and called Big Brother from his room to make a quick trip with us to Taco Bell. This Taco Bell is unique because it has a Pizza Hut inside as well. Kind of a two in one. I got a Taco Salad from the Taco Bell menu (minus the meat, beans instead of meat) and Big Brother got a Tostada and two side orders of nacho cheese. K.C. looked at the drive thru menu, I asked Big Brother what he thought K.C. was looking at. Big Brother got right next to K.C.'s head and looked, Big Brother trying to figure out where K.C.'s eyes were going. Big Brother said, "I think he's looking at the bread sticks from the Pizza Hut Menu or he could be looking at the Pizza." That made it easy because he can't have pizza due to allergies. We do buy K.C. "special pizza" we make at home. So I ordered two orders of bread sticks with Marinara. When we got home Big Brother made a beeline for the sink to wash his hands (still obsessing over germs). I rinsed K.C.'s under the water and we all sat down to take the fast food out of the containers. I kept the food away from K.C.'s hands (I never know how he'll respond to new food because sometimes he throws it) I gave Big Brother his food and he took it up to his room to watch a movie. I have been letting him take food into his room as long as he's careful because of the last head bonking food throwing incident. I took the bread sticks out and watched K.C.'s expression. He made a grunt when he seen the bread stick but as soon as I took the Marinara sauce out he grabbed for it like wild animal. I took the lid off and gave it to him straight away taking one bread stick and dipping it in to show him how it worked. He picked up the little container and stuck his tongue out licking the sauce. He liked it! I gave him a spoon that he wouldn't use, so I just let him eat it his way. He has been sick, heck I was just glad he was eating. Big Brother came downstairs and saw K.C. licking the little container and said, "ewwww it's germ infested for sure, he's eating like a savage!" Big Brother is something else, I can NEVER predict what he's going to say next. His comment did make me think, if I continue to let him eat like that when we do eat in public I am sure we will get alot of rude looks. We will work on it. Today we are staying indoors because of the heat. It's nearly 110 degrees today and tomorrow will be the same. If we do go out in the summer it always very early in the day or in the evening. Hope you are all doing well and staying cool from the summers heat :)

101 posts! How far K.C. Has Come.

2007-06-07T11:58:00.000-07:00

This is post 101. I want to thank everyone who reads about K.C. and Big Brother. We enjoy reading about your special kiddos and I really feel we are all connected. I know I have said this before but I really wish we were all neighbours! I hope to meet (Lora and Griffin) http://griffinblaise.blogspot.com in the near future and enjoy speaking to them on the phone. Griffin is an amazing little fella, cute as ever and very articulate!
I have been taking the boys to the park in the evenings sometimes as late as 9 p.m. Due to the very warm weather (o.k. it's hot) K.C. has come a very long ways! Last Summer his motor skills were so far behind he could hardly climb onto the wobbly bridge! You should see him now! He is learning to climb, sometimes follows Big Brother around the park and enjoys the fact that there is no one at the park but him and Big Brother. To be completely honest I too like the fact that we are the only ones! K.C. seems to be communicating alot better since he's learned to tap a picture twice to show "yes." He taps once for "no."
He's been waking up alot at night. I am always hiding, shoes, forks, chairs, food etc. anything he can find to line up. I let him "line up" during the daytime for very short periods of time. It's like he MUST line up and has to do. Watch out, don't mess his lines up or your in for the biggest shit fit you've ever seen. His lines are pretty, the are very precise, long and for K.C. maybe it's artwork. His teacher says its from, "lack of imagination" but I don't believe that for a second. Alot of imagination goes in his lines, I can see it and so does K.C.
Big Brother has asked that he be home schooled in August. He has been having some issues with older children who he attends classes with calling him, "nerd and geek." Some children have even called him, "brown boy." Can you believe this? I won't go into details about his school situation because I am considering a private Jewish school for him in August. I did mention this to Big Brother and his response was, "oh God no Mom, not that!" I laughed, not at Big Brother, just his response. As a little kid my Parents sent my to a private Jewish school and once I said the same EXACT thing that Big Brother had just said. It was tough, very tough but I wouldn't change a thing, it's made me the person I am today. When I first found out I was pregnant with K.C. I wanted the same things for him as well. Being pregnant with K.C. I knew all to well that there was a "Chance, hence the name of my boy, "Chance." I prayed to God he wouldn't be like my brother Adam. At about 6 months old I knew, my Parents knew, Chance was Autistic. He never babbled, looked at us, just wanted to be left alone. Chance was a mirror imagine of my brother in so many ways.
Today he is doing very well. He's learning, he's in school and he's growing up so fast it's unbelievable! I know K.C. has a very long road ahead of him, I often wonder what he'll be doing when he's an adult. It scares me alot. We will help him every step of the way, if he is with us for the rest of his life that is the way it is. I want him to have the best life as possible, happy and healthy.

K.C. and Big Brother Swimming With Relatives!

2007-06-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

K.C. and Big Brother had alot of company swimming today! The best part of all, K.C. did great as long as nobody looked him directly in the eye. I watched him carefully and noticed straight away when someone is near him he'll stick around alot longer if no one is looking him straight in the eyes. I asked his swimmer buddies to not look him in the eye to see what happens. Sure enough, he was more at ease and seemed happier. Big Brother had a blast with College Boy but didn't really play with the other kiddos. I think he was afraid someone was going to try to take him into the deep end.
I am kinda at a stand still with K.C.'s swimming. He has no fear of the water and I want to teach him to swim. Should I take off the vest? How do I go about teaching him to swim? Without the vest he'll walk right off into the deep end. Does anyone know which steps I should take in teaching him to swim? I'm wondering if he'll teach himself? I guess I had better do some reading into teaching Autistic kids to swim.